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Stupid off Season Game Restart


I started this originally over in the Tard forum at BN, but I have decided rather than face the stupid posts, and poster over there, as well as the staff which apparently, for the most part, thinks very highly of themselves, to instead choose not to post over there any longer. I could get banned, but why go through the formality, leaving on my own terms somehow feels better.

Anyway, the game is in every way meant to be stupid. It is not a vote, nor measurable, nor anything but a farse, but it is a long off season, and I have no football games to pick.

Once a week I will post three sets of three things that may, or may not be cool, that is not the point, the point is you must pick which of these things is coolest out of the groups. Then explain why, the best explaination as to why something is cool, in my opinion, and only my opinion wins, and anyone that had listed that object as there answer will get the points for it. At the end of the year they will be the crowned as the coolest off season poster of the year, and will win a imaginary trip to the bahamas, and a dream date of relations with supermodel that will never happen. In other words you get nothing, but it is something stupid to pass the time. Once you pick you may not change your pick but continue to argue for it. Yep Real stupid, and like bucknuts I will not give a specific reason why, but I pick what I pick and that is that.

Here is the first week (since this is a restart)

#1) For Five points which is cooler?

Papa Smurf:


Jesse Duke


Or Barney Fife


#2) For 3 Points Which is Cooler



Scotch Tape:


Or a three hole punch:


#3) Finally, for 8 points Which is cooler?

Air Hockey:




Or Skiball


Remember this is a dumb game so don't get upset or mad, just have fun with it. I will pick the winners of this weeks three around this time next week.


Papa Smurf - C'mon, the man is blue, and you know his ass was high all the damn time. And the voice.. serious pimp talk there.


3 Hold Punch - Simply bc it can do three tasks at once. Scotch tape sucks bc it can lose it's stickiness, and scissors can hurt you hand after awhile. :(


AIR HOCKEY - It's a puck floating on air, which provides hours of entertainment. This barely edged out fooseball, but just note how a game of 2 drunk people would look playin Air Hockey.

That's my initial stab at this :osu:
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Uncle Jesse - one bad ass country boy. one look at him and you can tell he could take out 6 guys in a bar fight and then casualy walk over and play Hank Williams in the juke box.

Scissors - a handy item to have around the house plus you can stab someone with them.

Fussball - just beacuse of the numerous references in The Waterboy (even though they were refering to football)

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1. Barney Fife. He's a goober-assed dork, but at least he got to carry a gun. 'Nuff said.

2. 3-hole punch. It's clean, it's safe, it's precise, plus you get confetti as a by product.

3. Air hockey. The other two games don't do shit unless your actively involved, whereas you can still watch the puck float randomly around on the board while staring at it in a drunken stupor.
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1-uncle jesse....hes a bamma boy like donny jr....so you know he got to nail daisey whenever he wanted to...

2-scissors.....part of the greatest "shotgun" game of all time....ro sham bo.....paper, scissors, rock....

3-airhockey.....b/c my son and i have a table and have had a million laughes playing it.....
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Jesse Duke. I'd say Barney Fife, but Jesse taught those Duke boys to make lawmen look like fools, and well, Barney only ever did have one bullet for that thar gun.

Three Hold Punch: If for no other reason than the fact that you can destroy someone else's work with it, and then as a bonus you can dump the confetti all over their office when they bitch about it.

Definitely Air Hockey: Not only is it amusing, but have you ever seen two drunks play each other? Not only hilarious, but educational, as you will usually learn one or two new words when one of those same drunks bashes their fingers on either the puck or the rail.
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Uncle Jesse - He has a still and is/was a "moonshiner" for christsakes. Nothing cooler than that! Plus papa smurf's nose looks like a blue penis. Only thing worse than that is blue balls. Barney has a pistol with one bullet (unloaded), Jesse totes a shotgun ... I'm sure you see who'd win that Mexican standoff. Last point, "Daisy", nuf said.

Scotch tape - Really this category sucks! Oh well, let's see. Any number of items can cut stuff (knife, razor, saw, etc.) so we'll cut the scissors. 3 Hole punch ... please. Buy the paper with the holes already in it for petesake. Plus, what if you only want 2 holes or 1, or 12. Geez, talk about limited uses. I see confetti as the only plus here. Tape let's you FIX things. All kinds of things. Torn paper ... tape. Mouthy wife ... tape. Broken glasses ... tape. Plus this mystery product does it's magic INVISABLY! How many of you would like that ability ... without the aid of tequilla.

Foosball - You need both hands to play, you can play 2 or 4 players and you can talk smack as you physically more your score counter. Nothing more satisfying than moving the score yourself! And if your opponent is drunk you can cheat on the score. Plus you can yell "Goaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal". Well OK, that last part may not be so cool, but is better than electronic scoring.
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no way on the three hole punch....

1-invariably one of the holes never punches all the way through...and you have to use a pair of SCISSORS to open the hole...

2-when using a three ring binder....you always pinch the hell out of your pinky...

3-as to the confetti....it is always at 4:59 on a friday that, while neatening the office up for the weekend (and putting the three hoe punch on the credenza), that the trap door on the damn thing opens up.....this spills a weeks worth of confetti on the carpet...i swear it takes two minutes to pick each one of those buggers off carpet......

edit for 3yards.....no way on the tape...scotch tape is only good for christmas presents....the tape you are referring to is duct tape....now thats cool stuff....
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