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St. Bill Martin of Ann Arbor (official thread of magnificence, GBYBMYMSOB)

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Palpie said:
A St Martinmas Carol
by not Charles Dickens
Part III

Warde saw on the video screen an image of the big house but it was full of red clad fans. "Is this next years game? Will those bastards take over our stadium again?" "Look closer", a voice croaked. It did not come from the ghost but seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once. Though he did not want to see the sight of Buckeyes filling the big house, he feared defying the ghost more. So look again he did, and lo it was not the Buckeyes that Michigan was playing. No this was a game vs INDIANA. Hoosiers fans had filled the big house. "How can this be?" he wondered. "They're a basketball school. We take over their stadium not this." The ghost merely pointed back to the video board. A new video was playing. There he was, introducing Les Miles as coach. Then video jumped and Les was resigning in disgrace after eating all the turf at the big house. LLLLLLLoyd was there introducing Mike Hart as the new coach.

Warde saw all this and understood. It wasn't about doing the dumbest thing possible, nor was it just about being unjustifiably arrogant. It was being unjustifiably arrogant WHILE doing the dumbest possible thing. Only a true follower of St Martin could be so arrogant and incompetent at the same time. Warde fell to his knees clutching at the ghost's cloak. "I understand now. I shouldn't be leaving Jimmy to dangle with a lame duck contract. How can we over hype the team in the off season without bringing in an overrated recruiting class. We need the offseason hype to keep the suckers fans coming."

Just then Warde heard a bell tolling. It rang twelve times. It was now St Martinmas.

Warde was home in bed clutching his wife's bed robe while she slapped him awake. Warde leapt up, checking the clock. It was noon of St Martinmas. "It's not too late" he exclaimed. He rushed down stairs, grabbed his briefcase and out the door. Before long he was at the Harbaugh's place. Knocking loudly, he shouted "Jimmy, I've come to negotiate a contract extension." Jimmy's wife opened the door. "Please keep it down, you know how excitable he is." She let Warde in and went looking for Jimmy, it sounded like he was looking for his baseball somewhere upstairs, Warde could hear the cleats scraping the hardwood floors. Looking around, he saw Tiny Jay. Warde smile and pulled out a brand new 64 color pack of crayons. Jay saw them and ran to take the waxy foodsticks. "Don't eat them all at once Jay. You need to save some for writing recruits and their girlfriends with." "Yes Mr. AD" Jay said.

"Ohhh, it's you." Warde heard Jimmy say. "Yes it is I" beamed Warde. "I've come to give you a contract extension. How does 3 years sound? No, make it 5. What am I thinking we'll call it a lifetime contract." "Do I have to take a pay cut?" growled Jimmy. "Of course not. I've never heard anything so absurd. You're a top five coach and we'll pay you as such. We'll tell everyone how this pandemic has effected Michigan far more than other schools and that gave them the competitive advantage over us this year. But I'm sure you've got a couple highly rated recruits we can start hyping as the newest saviors."

And thus Warde Manuel learned the true meaning of St Martinmas and Michigan football was saved from having Indiana's fans take over the big house and that is what really matters.


Happy St Martinmas to all and to all a FUCK MICHIGAN!




I'd like to sincerely apologize to Mr Charles Dickens for butchering his classic in this way. I do not apologize to any fuck Michigan Men for their appearances in this bit of satire.
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Fine stuff. The cowards avoided a Dickensian beating in the ‘Shoe, but you’ve given them a different variation of one.

Reading those warmed my heart. Or perhaps those were Palpie-tations.
 
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On this Martimas Eve, although we haven't had much to celebrate these past two years, I think it's important that we never forget the lessons he taught us even as the man himself starts to fade from memory (of some). If you have lapsed in your faith a little (as we all do from time time as the world imposes it's will on us), I suggest you go back through the pages of this thread and remember what Martimas means to you or understand what it has meant to those before you. 13 of the finer years of my life, watching total domination, pathetic desperation and ultimately, capitulation.

I know that I will honour Martimas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.

I will always hear his bell.

Merry Martimas Eve to all and GBYBMYMSB!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Jaxbuck said:
On this Martimas Eve, although we haven't had much to celebrate these past two years, I think it's important that we never forget the lessons he taught us even as the man himself starts to fade from memory (of some). If you have lapsed in your faith a little (as we all do from time time as the world imposes it's will on us), I suggest you go back through the pages of this thread and remember what Martimas means to you or understand what it has meant to those before you. 13 of the finer years of my life, watching total domination, pathetic desperation and ultimately, capitulation.

I know that I will honour Martimas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.

I will always hear his bell.

Merry Martimas Eve to all and GBYBMYMSB!!!!!!!!!!
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Truly words to live by.
I think we are now seeing an influx of younger fans who may not know or understand the legend that is St. Bill of the Yacht. On this Martimas those of us old enough to have witnessed St. Bill's miracles and majesty firsthand should take the time to impart that knowledge upon the young ones. The legend must never die!
Merry Martimas Buckeye Nation!
GBYBMYMSOB!
 
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kujirakira said:
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.


View attachment 34565
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my-disappointment.gif
 
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