People to Punch, Pet Peeves, and General Vexations (mega-merge)

[BUCKYLE]

Yeah, I'd probably match speeds with whoever is in the right lane and ride it out for a while.

I'd drive to St. Louis like that.

 

[RugbyBuck]

People who self-reference: "As I tweeted/posted on Facebook last week...".

 

[DubCoffman62]

People at the grocery store that turn their cart side ways and block the aisles while they look for something. It's usually a senior citizen.

 

[buxfan4life]

People who self-reference: "As I tweeted/posted on Facebook last week...".

Anyone who starts a sentence that way completely loses me since I don't Twat-Twit-Twot-Whateverthefuckyoucallit and have never had a Facebook account. (I still do not see the redeeming value in any "social media" since everyone seems to be getting themselves into trouble by using it.)

A majority of the people I want to punch are now leaving for their northern residences, which is a good thing. That means the next 4-5 months I should be less stressed on the roadways since the Q-Tips who insist on driving 20 MPH in a 50 MPH zone will not be around.

 

[sparcboxbuck]

Do that and you're guaranteed a much slower departure from "your lane"

You'll only get my brights after you've had multiple opportunities to depart from my lane...

Small penis?

Whitty... The small penis jokes are tired...

But he has a V8 and it can go fast.

Why in the [censored] do you need to go 90mph down the highway? Its jackasses like you who kill people.

Come to the big city and stay a while. You'll quickly note that a 75-85 MPH pace on the highway isn't out of the ordinary. From my POV it's jackasses who drive below the speed limit -- or are not driving faster than the lane to their right -- who cause safety issues. Move the eff over so those who drive swiftly can maintain their lane without having to drive around people who don't understand how to drive with courtesy.

Geeez... even my 70 year old mother understands this concept.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

You'll only get my brights after you've had multiple opportunities to depart from my lane...

Come to the big city and stay a while. You'll quickly note that a 75-85 MPH pace on the highway isn't out of the ordinary. From my POV it's jackasses who drive below the speed limit -- or are not driving faster than the lane to their right -- who cause safety issues. Move the eff over so those who drive swiftly can maintain their lane without having to drive around people who don't understand how to drive with courtesy.

Your definition of multiple opportunities may be different than mine. If I'm passing a truck doing 68 in the middle lane and I'm doing 72 in the left lane, I'm giving that truck wide clearance before I get back over. When jackasses come flying up behind me and dart over in front of the truck to pass me on the right, I get hung out to dry in the left lane and there's not a GD thing I can do about it. I'm not pulling over 15 feet in front of a semi doing 68 mph. Give me a chance to get out of the way and I'm happy to do it. Be an impatient cockhole and it creates these situations.

And I'm glad to see that it's "those" people that don't understand how to drive with courtesy.

EDIT - All that being said, I am equally as aggravated by people doing 55 in the left lane in a 65-zone when there is nobody around. I won't tailgate, flash my lights, or honk at them, but I will pass on the right when it becomes completely clear that they will not move over.

Of course, that almost never works, because I will get behind them and try to give them time to get over a lane, but in the meanwhile, the line of traffic behind me has already begun the parade through the middle lane and then I get stuck behind this left-lane-slowpoke because I tried to be courteous to him.

 

[jwinslow]

I consistently make an effort to move over after passing in the fast lane. How quickly that should happen is very subjective, which brings us back to my original point.

Flashing your brights is guaranteed to extend the length of my trespassing and given the responses here, it's appears to be a pretty common mindset.

p.s. I know why people want to believe that humans are "good" but the argument falls apart pretty quickly when observing behavior in traffic :p (on both ends of these interactions among a hundred others)

Your definition of multiple opportunities may be different than mine. If I'm passing a truck doing 68 in the middle lane and I'm doing 72 in the left lane, I'm giving that truck wide clearance before I get back over. When jackasses come flying up behind me and dart over in front of the truck to pass me on the right, I get hung out to dry in the left lane and there's not a GD thing I can do about it. I'm not pulling over 15 feet in front of a semi doing 68 mph. Give me a chance to get out of the way and I'm happy to do it. Be an impatient cockhole and it creates these situations.

And I'm glad to see that it's "those" people that don't understand how to drive with courtesy.

Bingo. That distance magically grows to 20-25 feet with the swiftness of Charlie Weis once an approaching car crosses the threshold from following to dangerous tailgating, let alone honking and flashing.

 

[BayBuck]

Come to the big city and stay a while. You'll quickly note that a 75-85 MPH pace on the highway isn't out of the ordinary. From my POV it's jackasses who drive below the speed limit -- or are not driving faster than the lane to their right -- who cause safety issues. Move the eff over so those who drive swiftly can maintain their lane without having to drive around people who don't understand how to drive with courtesy.

Geeez... even my 70 year old mother understands this concept.

75-80 is not out of the ordinary, but it isn't technically legal either and certainly isn't mandatory. From my POV it's jackasses who tailgate and aggressively try to impose their impatience upon cars in front of them who are causing greater safety issues than Sunday drivers in the left lane. Calm the eff down so we can all get home safely, even if it takes a few extra minutes.

 

[buckeyefool]

Your definition of multiple opportunities may be different than mine. If I'm passing a truck doing 68 in the middle lane and I'm doing 72 in the left lane, I'm giving that truck wide clearance before I get back over. When jackasses come flying up behind me and dart over in front of the truck to pass me on the right, I get hung out to dry in the left lane and there's not a GD thing I can do about it. I'm not pulling over 15 feet in front of a semi doing 68 mph. Give me a chance to get out of the way and I'm happy to do it. Be an impatient cockhole and it creates these situations.

Exactly, or the jackass who wants to get behind you and honk or what ever when I am doing 70 in the left lane but there is a line of about five semis in a row in the right lane. Sorry jackass just because you think you need to drive 90 to make of for your lack of manhood doesn't mean I am putting my car between two semis.

 

[Bucklion]

I consistently make an effort to move over after passing in the fast lane. How quickly that should happen is very subjective, which brings us back to my original point.

Flashing your brights is guaranteed to extend the length of my trespassing and given the responses here, it's appears to be a pretty common mindset.

p.s. I know why people want to believe that humans are "good" but the argument falls apart pretty quickly when observing behavior in traffic :p (on both ends of these interactions among a hundred others)
Bingo. That distance magically grows to 20-25 feet with the swiftness of Charlie Weis once an approaching car crosses the threshold from following to dangerous tailgating, let alone honking and flashing.

This would be a fascinating social experiment. Take 2 people getting off the elevator at the same time, and you are likely to see courtesy, one will wait for the other to go, and might even hold the door if necessary. Take those SAME 2 people and put them on the road, trying to occupy the same lane at the same time, and you get double birds and shouting about mothers with goats. It's a strange phenomenon, and I am just as guilty as everyone else is of it.

 

[Bucklion]

Exactly, or the jackass who wants to get behind you and honk or what ever when I am doing 70 in the left lane but there is a line of about five semis in a row in the right lane. Sorry jackass just because you think you need to drive 90 to make of for your lack of manhood doesn't mean I am putting my car between two semis.

I understand this fully, but this is of course in contrast to the "ICTRUCK" people, who really piss me off too. These are the people who are in the center lane, and even though they are driving the same speed or slower than a semi, they immediately swerve into the left lane automatically and proceed to block traffic for the next 15 miles because they are too chickenshit to actually pass, but because there was a semi, by God they had to be in the left lane.

All of this on both sides could be handled simply if people followed the simplest of fucking rules, which is that the left lane is for passing. That way, if you come up on slower traffic, you are likely to be more patient initially because as soon as those people pass, you know they will get over. There would be very little, if any, trouble if everyone did this. But almost no one does. People are fucking joy riding, cell phone yapping, and swirvin Irvining in the left lane for miles at a time, and then you get the assclowns who won't wait 5 seconds for someone to get over so they start zipping across 4 lanes to save 10 seconds. If people followed the gradient system (lefter, faster, righter, slower) there would likely be no road rage to speak of.

 

[DubCoffman62]

On my way home from my father's place this weekend I took one of those two lane country roads for about half the trip. They're very pleasant but at the same time very dangerous because there's no police patrols and some idiots do 100mph. I was on a stretch of about 20 miles where there's no passing allowed because of all of the dips and turns. I got behind this idiot who was doing about 5mph below the speed limit but there was no way I was going to pass him. I patiently followed but I didn't ride his ass either. I noticed that he kept looking back at me in his mirror. I'm not talking occasional glances, it looked as though he was freaking about about me being behind as if he thought that I was following him. Suddenly he began driving very erratically, as if he had a blow out. He was swerving back and forth until he finally pulled over to the side of the road and I passed him. As soon as I passed he got back onto the highway, nothing wrong with his tires. I think the guy was tripping on something or perhaps was carrying a load of something and was uber paranoid.

 

[sparcboxbuck]

Your definition of multiple opportunities may be different than mine. If I'm passing a truck doing 68 in the middle lane and I'm doing 72 in the left lane, I'm giving that truck wide clearance before I get back over. When jackasses come flying up behind me and dart over in front of the truck to pass me on the right, I get hung out to dry in the left lane and there's not a GD thing I can do about it. I'm not pulling over 15 feet in front of a semi doing 68 mph. Give me a chance to get out of the way and I'm happy to do it. Be an impatient cockhole and it creates these situations.

And I'm glad to see that it's "those" people that don't understand how to drive with courtesy.

EDIT - All that being said, I am equally as aggravated by people doing 55 in the left lane in a 65-zone when there is nobody around. I won't tailgate, flash my lights, or honk at them, but I will pass on the right when it becomes completely clear that they will not move over.

Of course, that almost never works, because I will get behind them and try to give them time to get over a lane, but in the meanwhile, the line of traffic behind me has already begun the parade through the middle lane and then I get stuck behind this left-lane-slowpoke because I tried to be courteous to him.

I don't think that you're the audience at whom my frustration is pointed.

Of course safety is everyone's primary concern. As the OP was talking about the people who have no frigg'n clue that they're in the left lane driving slower than everyone on the road, it is those people who are the center of my frustration. And frankly... I think everyone shares that frustration. Get off the phone and pay attention to the road, right?

Now honestly, my original post was a bit of an exaggeration to (a) try to be funny, and (b) make a point. I'm sure that some of it was lost because you don't see me drive every day. Truth be told, while I do drive a car that draws attention, I get much greater satisfaction from a bunch of ricers who pipe me off at a stop lights and letting them drive off because I know what my car does on a track... and I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

But that said... get out of the left lane if people are passing you on the right.

 

[SidehatchHusker]

When the 50 yr. old lady on the phone calls you "honey".

"OK, honey, we'll have it ready for you when you get here."

"What's your name, honey?"

"Thanks, honey, bye!"

I'm not a 4 yr old boy. And if I tried to call you "honey" I'd probably get slapped with a lawsuit.

(sorry, this just happened to me in the last 30 seconds while I was reading this thread!)

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

When the 50 yr. old lady on the phone calls you "honey".

"OK, honey, we'll have it ready for you when you get here."

"What's your name, honey?"

"Thanks, honey, bye!"

I'm not a 4 yr old boy. And if I tried to call you "honey" I'd probably get slapped with a lawsuit.

(sorry, this just happened to me in the last 30 seconds while I was reading this thread!)

That's a great post, sweetie.