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Let's hear everyone's M*ch*g*n jokes... (merged)

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Michigan fan and the genie
A Michigan fan is walking along the shores of lake Michigan and finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out. The gennie says, "I can give you one wish, but it has to be easy because i've been locked in the lamp for a while and I'm rusty at this wish stuff."
So the Michigan fan thinks and says, "I know! I want peace in the Middle East." The genie says, "Wow! That's hard. I said make that wish easy."
The Michigan fan thinks some more and says, "I know I want Michigan to beat Ohio State in football this year."
The genie says, "Shoot! What the heck did i do with that map of the Middle East!"
 
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GO BUCKS


15% OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN FOOTBALL TEAM HAS BEEN ARRESTED DURING THE PAST YEAR.

WITH THAT IN MIND, THE JOKES ARE FLOWING ....

________________________________________________________

A lady in Ann Arbor calls 911. Hysterically, she says, 'Someone's just broken into my house, and I think he's going to rob me!'

The police officer says, 'Ma'm, we're really busy at the moment. Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you.'

________________________________________________________

Q: What is Rich Rodriguez's biggest concern?

A: Does the NCAA count bail money as a recruiting violation?

_____________________________________________________

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Ann Arbor ?

A: A huddle

_____________________________________________________

Q: Four Michigan players are in a car, who's driving?

A: The police

____________________________________________________

Q: Why can't most of the U of M players get into a huddle on the field?

A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.

__________________________________________________

The University of Michigan team has adopted a new Honor System:

'Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor'.

________________________________________________________

The Wolverines are hoping for an undefeated season this year....

11 Arrests, 0 convictions.

______________________________________________________

Q: How did the Wolverines spend the first week of Spring Training?

A: Studying their Miranda rights
 
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Lloyd Carr, clearly upset about the Michigan Wolverine's loss to the Oregon Ducks, decides to find out from Jim Tressel what his winning secret is.

Carr travels to an OSU practice and asks Tressel, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?"

Tressel, trying to be helpful, responds by calling Craig Krenzel over and asks him, "Craig, who's your father's brother's nephew? Krenzel answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Tressel turns to Carr and says, "See, that's the secret, Lloyd. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback!"

Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Carr returns to Michigan and the Wolverine workout. He promptly calls over John Navarre.

"Hey, Navarre! Who's your father's brother's nephew?"

John looks perplexed, thinks a bit and says,"Coach, I'll have to get back to you after practice on that, okay? Carr, disgusted, says okay.

During practice, Navarre calls over Chris Perry. "Hey, Chris, Coach just asked me the weirdest question: "Who's your father's brother's nephew?"

Perry answers, "Duh! That's pretty simple! It's me!"

After practice, Navarre catches up with Carr and says, "Hey, Coach, I have the answer to your question! My father's brother's nephew is Chris Perry!" Carr (very angry with Navarre) says, "No, No, No! You idiot! It's Craig Krenzel!!!












HILARIOUS!!!!! good shhhh ii ttt dude :osu:
 
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A man dressed in Scarlet and Gray walks into an Ann Arbor sports bar with a small dog under his arm.

He says to the bartender, "Hey, can I leave my dog here while I go to the OSU - U of M game?"

"A dog in my bar? No way."

"But he's a special dog," the OSU fan says.

"In what way?" The bartender asks.

"Well," says the Buckeye, "he will watch the game on TV with you.

When OSU scores, he will walk up and down the bar on his hind legs.

When Michigan scores, he will walk up and down the bar on his front legs.

When Ohio State wins, he will do back flips all the way down the bar and back."

"Wow," the bartender says. "What does he do when Michigan wins?"

"I don't know" says the Buckeye. "He's only seven years old."
 
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bump9oi.gif
 
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