I'd like to see the Buckeyes come out of the tunnel wearing throw back jerseys in orange and black 'cause those were going to be the colors before we descovered that Princeton had already picked. It would also demonstrate our support for Oregon State and Oklahoma State, two schools that share the OSU initials. I'd put flying peacocks on the shoulders and have the numbers painted in day glo green so they'd look real spooky when we played in blacklight situations. Top that with fuscia helmets with a safety cone orange stripe running from front to back and from ear hole to earhole. That would symbolize our connection with the 1916 Buckeyes and Chic Harley cause they'd look like the strips of leather that criss crossed those old helmets. Let's make the pants olive drab to link to the 166th Infantry Regiment, Ohio National Guard, the folks who secured the Administration Building during the unplesantries of May 4, 1970. We'll have the band outfitted in plaid flannel shirts and blue jeans and they'll play "Four Dead in Ohio" as they come down the ramp so everyone can lift back their head and sing. After touchdowns they'll play Happy Days Are Here Again. And then the PA will have Patsy Cline belting out, "I'm sorry, so sorry , for making you blue..." At the end of the game we'll turn on the Victory fog horn to celebrate the location next to the Olentangy and everyone will take off their hat and sing Auld Lang Zyne along with the team and band. Then we'll walk through the cedar grove where a cedar tree is planted for every All American at Michigan State because they hate Michigan almost as much as we do.
Fuck tradition. Just win, baby, win.
