• New here? Register here now for access to all the forums, download game torrents, private messages, polls, Sportsbook, etc. Plus, stay connected and follow BP on Instagram @buckeyeplanet and Facebook.

If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift idea for me

LoKyBuckeye

I give up. This board is too hard to understand.
I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit.

Where's the Tylenol?

clark_griswald.jpg
 
Where do you think you're going?

Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here!

We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!
 
Upvote 0
Uh. LoKy, Frank still has some friends in the correctional services. This may be a good time to move house or publish an apology.

Link


[SIZE=+1]THE CHAPLAINS? CHAPLAIN RETIRES[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0]Frank Shirley leaves the Western Area[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0]Asheville - Nineteen years ago, Chaplain Frank Shirley entered the old Craggy Prison. Western Area prisons haven?t been the same since.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0][/SIZE]
Shirley.jpg
[SIZE=+0]Friends, family, co-workers, and former inmates gathered at the Merrimon Avenue Baptist Church for a good-bye tribute to the man who made a big impact on many lives.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0]When Correction Secretary Mack Jarvis was Western area administrator, he was part of the team which hired Shirley. At the time, Jarvis said, the prisons had no structured religious programming, Sunday services were held in the dining hall and prison staff exhibited a lot of turfism. "Frank was persistent," Jarvis said. "Frank Shirley built a chapel in the basement of old Craggy and he was the moving force in getting a chapel at every prison in the Western Area." (Except for Wilkes Correctional Center).[/SIZE][SIZE=+0][/SIZE] [SIZE=+0]"When you look at George Holley, George Smith, Charles Pickens and Jerry Gibbs (former inmates who attended the luncheon), it makes the job all worthwhile," Jarvis said.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0][/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0][/SIZE][SIZE=+0]Holley, current chaplain at Craggy Prison and master of ceremonies for the luncheon, said, "I hope the rest of us chaplains can keep up with the shadow Frank Shirley cast. No doubt North Carolina is a safer place because of the impact of Chaplain Shirley?s ministry."[/SIZE]

(continued)
 
Upvote 0
Back
Top