OCBucksFan;1945570; said:
Sorry mate, you're too nice, I deal with millionaires everyday who would not have done what you have... sounds like you are doing a really good deed, but make sure that good deed doesn't set you back.
I'll use myself as an example, I think everyone knows I am a big supporter of BP, but this year I haven't been able to donate, I know I want to, but with the wife here, being a dependant, 20 bucks is a lot :( Can't let that good deed make us struggle. That's all the advice I can give.
Most of what I has given has come out of the "fun money" that I budget for myself every week for eating out, going to the movie or buying whatever it is that I want but don't need. I've never not been able to pay a bill or go hungry because of her, I've just eaten in or not gone out for fun. If it ever came to my well being or hers she'd be SOL.
muffler dragon;1945581; said:
Take this FWIW (or I suggest don't even reading it).
I'm just about [censored]ed beyond reason reading this Dub. Unless this chick's personality some how illuminates your world, you're getting financially [censored]ed six ways from Sunday. She's a leech. Moreover, she's teaching her child not to worry about personal financial responsibility. The young lady's just going to be one more leech.
Furthermore, if you really want to see how she "values" your relationship, then cut her off and see if she stays around. I bet dollars to pesos that she's on to the next John who pays her [Mark May].
You're absolutely right, that's why I sometimes refer to her as "la sin verguenza" because I'd never have the balls to repeatedly ask someone for money the like that. One of my personality flaws is feeling guilty having it well while others are scraping to make it. I suppose it's my way of alleviating the guilt, by feeling that I helped someone. I've cut her off a few times and she's always stuck around. She always thanks me for all that I've done and says she doesn't know what she'd do without me which of course makes me feel like shit.
BUCKYLE;1945591; said:
Now that I have a daughter to take care of, I look at money a bit differently.
Before, I'd have [censored]ed myself over to help out a friend. Money wasn't [Mark May] to me, and it didn't mean [Mark May]. I'd gladly help out any friend/family who asked, regardless what it did to me.
Now that I have someone that depends on me, those in need can eat a bag of dicks if they're hungry.
I guess my advice is knock some chick up. It may just save you money.
I guess that's kind of where I'm at too. Nobody goes hungry if I give so and so x amount of money for something. No kids, the house is paid for, I don't owe anyone any money. You could be right though, maybe I need something to change my outlook and priorities.
Muck;1945612; said:
There's your answer...just have her deported.
Unfortunately she's legal at the moment but she needs to renew her residency card soon, I hear they're kind of expensive, what if she comes up a little short and I don't help her out?
knapplc;1945616; said:
This woman is not your friend, Dub. There is no way a friend would take that kind of money over this kind of time. A friend is someone you hang out with and do stuff with, not someone you have to bail out over and over and over and over.
It's your money, so do with it what you want. But if I were in your shoes, she'd be out of my life.
I don't want to make a broad sweeping generalization here and get into trouble but it's been my experience that many people like her (lower class of a third world country) see others not as friends, although I believe she sincerely thinks of herself as a friend but a means to an end. Alittle background on her. She's from Mexico, in the village where she was brought up girls are auctioned off to husbands at the age of 15, her husband was a total bastard who never taught her anything about the outside world or how to survive, she speaks absolutely no English, she never went past the third grade and she's probably never had more than a grand in her possession. I would probably be wise of me to cast of off and tell her to never call me again but I just can't seem to be able to do that. Another thing is that I know she sends money to her mother who's old and not in the best of health. It's not like she has a drug or gambling habit.
I know that this is a problem that I've created, I've been too generous over the years and she's become accustomed to having me help her out. I hate having to be an asshole over money but something obviously has to change.
Just since May I've sheeled out over $500 for her daughter's Quincenera, her uncle died and I gave her some cash to help her get to Tijuana, I paid her phone bill, I gave her some money to make a payment on a title loan she took out on her car... Over the years it's been mostly help with gas, groceries, I've bought clothes a few times, given her money to go to the doctor. Like I've said, we're very close and I don't mind helping her, I just wish she'd learn to be more responsible. She shelled out a decent amount of her own money for her daughter's party and now I know she wishes she had some of that money back. I always tell her that she has to learn how to see past her nose, of course she has no idea what I mean by it.
