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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

He's already got the goose-stepping down.

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Now that is a headline folks.

A 19-year-old Texas college student crashed her SUV into a parked patrol car on Wednesday night after taking a topless Snapchat selfie intended for her boyfriend...She was arrested for driving while intoxicated with an open container.

Open container? Is this some new term for "blouse"?
 
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What's weird is that guy, leaving aside the weird bruising,



Two marked police cars were needed to pull over Jenkins, who reluctantly stepped out of his car only wearing red shorts, a police report states.

An officer handcuffed Jenkins on the ground after he repeatedly ignored police orders, a report states.

Jenkins was hospitalized for three days, court records show.

Considerable reading between the lines required, but I think this explains the bruising.
 
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