Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

[Oh8ch]

I remember the night I learned gorillas enjoyed oral sex.

If I had known they would return the favor I would have stuck around a little while.

 

[AuTX Buckeye]

 

[Herb Kirkstreit]

Amazing. Does he have any experience as a defensive coordinator?

 

[ScriptOhio]

Did he put it out on the curb for the trash pick up?

 

[ScriptOhio]

Woman Accused of Starting Fawn Fire Was Attempting To Boil Bear Urine to Drink

Entire article: https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2...arting-fawn-fire-boiling-bear-urine-to-drink/

 

[LovelandBuckeye]

Golfers attacked at Alabama course by people in camouflage

https://www.wsfa.com/2021/09/30/golfers-attacked-alabama-course-by-people-camouflage/

 

[Oh8ch]

Golfers attacked at Alabama course by people in camouflage

https://www.wsfa.com/2021/09/30/golfers-attacked-alabama-course-by-people-camouflage/

Fuccing golfers should stay on the sidewalk.

 

[LovelandBuckeye]

Drunk Turkish man spends hours helping search party hunting for missing person without realizing it's HIM

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ooking-him.html?ito=social-twitter_mailonline

 

[Wadcutter]

Golfers attacked at Alabama course by people in camouflage

https://www.wsfa.com/2021/09/30/golfers-attacked-alabama-course-by-people-camouflage/

Yeah but Gulf Shores is just down the road from Pensacola so maybe it was just bleed over from Florida which probably puts this in the" meh, Florida, not that weird" category.

 

[LovelandBuckeye]

Moment two 'drunk' teachers stumble into WRONG apartment and get into BED with married couple and their young child before homeowner chases them out into the street and is shot by one of the intruders

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ing-started-got-strangers-bed-wrong-home.html

 

[heisman]

In case @LovelandBuckeye needs gardening ideas.

Rare ‘Penis Plant’ Blooms for the First Time in 25 Years

https://www.vice.com/en/article/jgme9y/rare-penis-plant-blooms-for-the-first-time-in-25-years

 

[Oh8ch]

Now that I am 72 I must confess to being jealous.

 

[LovelandBuckeye]

In case @LovelandBuckeye needs gardening ideas.

Rare ‘Penis Plant’ Blooms for the First Time in 25 Years

https://www.vice.com/en/article/jgme9y/rare-penis-plant-blooms-for-the-first-time-in-25-years

 

[Jaxbuck]

Florida ‘Teacher of the Year’ arrested for hitting pupil who criticized award

Once alone in Lee’s classroom, the teacher shut the door — and then “reached across the table and struck her on her face with the heel of her palm,” the girl told investigators.

“Lee then began repeatedly calling her a ‘f—ing bitch’ as she landed several more strikes on the top of her head” and also “kicked her on her lower leg,” she told officers.

Surveillance footage shows the girl holding her face as she went straight to the school’s guidance counselor to report the alleged attack, the report said.

She even pulled a "Now youse can't leave" on the kid.

Epic.

 

[BB73]

If having a WWII artillery shell up my ass is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Insider.com Gloucester, England

Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum, police say