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Dumbest thing that's ever Come out of your mouth...


Well, that's like hypnotizing chickens.
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Now.. I think we've had enough fun with stupid shit other people have said...

Now... what's the dumbest thing you've ever said.

There are always situations that bring out weird statements/responses....and obviously things like insulting someones dead mother or whatever by accident (not knowing they were dead) aren't necessarily your fault... and not too funny...

Here's one.... and this is both 'stupid' akak and 'insulting' akak, along with pissing off buddy's gf.

To set the scene.. I was in Panama City Beach Spring Break... at Pineapple Willy's (I'm sure some of you know the place)... Anyway, it was all the ICehouse you could drink for 2 hours for like $5. I was there with a buddy of mine who was in the Air Force at the Time. With him were his future wife, and a couple of her friends, in addition to other people not important to the story.

Anyway... lets say my AF buddy and I took full advantage of the 2 hour beer buffet... then we started doing shots... to the point where we projectile vomited in tandem off the bar's pier onto the beach... I hit a guy with vomit, and as he jumped out of the way, my buddy's vomit hit him. Pretty funny.

We both rally, continue drinking... and decide we're too hammered to even stand up... so we leave.

My Buddy's GF is going to drive me back to my Hotel, but while we're waiting for another person in the parking lot, I start talking to some girl (Who's my buddy's GF's Friend, if you can follow that)... now she was bit on the heavy side and probably not much to look at... so I say, "You know, after a couple more beers, I'm going to want to fuck you."

Now... not only was it not smooth... not only was in chauvanistic (Even considering my condition)... not only did it get my buddy in trouble with his chick for being an ass... but I find out later she was most offended that I insulted her weight by implying that I wasn't beer goggling enough at that moment to bang her.

Edit: I was just talking to my buddy from the story. He wanted me to emphasize the following: "A couple more beers" was completely out of the question, thus, I was at a point of theoretical maximum drunkeness.. but not drunk enough to bang her.
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hmm i should be full of these stories but for some reason i can't think of too much right now. the other night my gf was out and her dad called but after aabout 15 seconds of small talk i go 'do you wanna talk to <gf's name>?' and he goes 'yes' and i go 'well she's not here right now.'...lol..than why did i bother to ask?

also once, when i was still working in columbus (up in westerville near shrock and rt 3) i was out sick one day and my boss knew he had finally got me b/c i had used up all good sick excuses. so he sits me down and was like 'why were you out yesterday' and i thought for a second and said 'diahrea' and we both started laughing and he let me off the hook. lol..

let's see what else...i'll have to come back to this thread on a daily basis. mods - can we make this a sticky?
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calling some chicks that had dated a couple of housemates "groupies" didn't go over too well... also trying to say sorry after projectile vomiting on a girl didn't go over well either (I figured I'd smooth talk her over... she was hot when I was sobber, and even better looking when I was ripped)...

Listening to a buddy who got caught with his two gf (they didn't know about each other) when they both wanted to spend the night with him was amusing...
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gbearbuck said:
...also trying to say sorry after projectile vomiting on a girl didn't go over well either...
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I'm sure I have a ton of good ones that I can't remember. The most recent time I put my foot in my mouth is the first time I met my buddy's new girlfriend. I just want to say this girl takes THE worst pictures I have ever seen. For some reason she opens her eyes as wide as she can every time someone takes a picture of her. My buddy sent me a picture of her when they first started dating and she was cute, but the eyes made her look freaky. When I met her (after I was a few beers into the night) I said, "Wow, you're a lot hotter in person than in the picture". I was eventually able to talk my way out of it, but my buddy gave me the dirtiest look ever. Lucky for me most girls like to be told they're hot so she was never pissed off.
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Working in the resturant industry you get lots of regulars, So here are two stories of some stpuid things I said to regulars.

One was an orderly couple who came in every weeks on Sundays, I always new excatly what they were drinking and had the bartender getting there drinks ready as soon as I saw them walking in the door. Anyway it had been about two weeks, and I hadn't seen them. Well the wife came in with a younger woman (turned out to be he daugther) I walked up, and was like how are you, blah blah blah, heres the drinks....where jack? He parking the car? as I put his drink down. She like nope he's not here. I then said well where is he? and then I get the response, he died two weeks ago..D'oh

Next it was actually younger couple that came in, and similar story, but the wife come in by herself, I was like where the husband at? She goes he can rot in hell last time I saw him he was fucking his secretary.
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first one that comes to mind... I was watching my son's baseball game.. new travel team.. don't know many players... and during one play this other kid really screws up.. and I blurt out to another buddy next to me.. "how in the world did that horrible kid make this team?.. he's terrible" .. only to find out his parents were directly in front of me...2 rows down...
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