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Dumbest thing that's ever Come out of your mouth...

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i have two good ones. one was mine, and the other was my fried, but i was involved in each.

first: there was a rather attractice female that my friend was interested in. they both worked at ysu, although in different departments. i arranged a happenstance meeting between the two. so while they were sitting there chatting, i was pretending to be busy doing something but i was eavesdropping. i hear my buddy draw the conversation to the point of asking her out. in a vain attempt to ask this girl to dinner he blurts out "So, do you like to eat?" She pretty much got the gist of it and said yes i'd like to go to dinner.

second: same person. we had indulged in rather copious amounts of alcohol one evening. during that time we had struck up a conversation with a few young ladies. it evolved to the point where we were trying to persuade them to leave with us. my buddy tells me to ask them to come home with us and we'll make breakfast in the morning. So I ask them to come home with us. they were a little apprehensive about it. In all my charming glory I tell them "I've got eggs." They laughed and thought my feeble offer of making breakfast was cute. of course the night ended poorly with one of them puking and falling down in the parking lot.
 
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This isn't really about me but someone who means a great deal to me... my wife

We were at Walt Disney World a couple of years ago and while we were at Animal Kingdom we see a couple with their two daughters all decked out in buckeye gear. I think I had on a national champions tee on, so we say hello and chit chat for a while about the bucks etc.. We tell them where we are from and they say they are from Portsmouth. My wife, god love her says(to the daughters age 20-25 range),"So, do you hang out at the flats much?"

That day my wife found out that Portsmouth is not a suburb of Cleveland as is a long way away from the flats.
 
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That day my wife found out that Portsmouth is not a suburb of Cleveland as is a long way away from the flats.
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It might have been reasonable... if by "flats" your wife was talking bauxite barges or something like that.
 
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I know I've had my share of brain-fart comments, but none are coming to me right now.

However, my favorite dumb comment happened to a guy I kinda of knew when I worked at the statehouse. Every spring the staffs of the different state government offices and agencies form a co-ed softball league. In this co-ed league, there is a rule that you have to have 3 women playing in the field. In the first game of the year, the House Republicans played the Governor's Office on which Taft's daughter played. About the fifth inning or so, the Governor's team switched their third base player, causing the manager for the House team to yell, "Hey, you can't do that...you can't substitute him, you need 3 women on the field".

Problem was the person to come in the game was a woman....Anna Taft. To make things worse, Gov. Taft was in attendance watching the game. All the manager had to say after he realized his mistake was "I'm screwed. I have no future. I'm screwed."
 
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On a similar note - Ive always thought it was a little wierd to congratulate a guy when you hear his wife is pregnant. I mean - what are you supposed to say - "Hey - alright man! Really nailed her good, eh? Way to blow a load!" Really - what type of accomplishment is that?

:)
 
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On a similar note - Ive always thought it was a little wierd to congratulate a guy when you hear his wife is pregnant. I mean - what are you supposed to say - "Hey - alright man! Really nailed her good, eh? Way to blow a load!" Really - what type of accomplishment is that?
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I actually have taken to saying...

"Good Nut"

Also- Lets do a little stupid phrase foreshadowing.

"See you fuckers later. I'm going to Vegas"

Anyway. We'll catch up Tuesday and see how stupid that really ended up being.
 
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