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Disgraced Former Penn State DC Jerry Sandusky (convicted child molester)

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On a psychological basis, I do understand that Jeff S's abuse may have its origins in the abuse he suffered from Jerry S. But we can't go down that road legally. Once you are a full adult, you have to be fully responsible for your choices. From a human empathy standpoint, I could look at Jeff and probably feel sorry that he was damaged, and that damage had some role in causing him to damage others - but I wouldn't want that to impact innocence or guilt. Maybe sentencing. And yet, I have talked to many pedophiles, and I have not ever felt like I have seen a "cured" or reformed pedophile. Some line seems to get crossed when a man sexually gratifies himself on a pre-pubescent child, and my impression is that they never come back across that line. At best they control their urges out of fear of going to prison, but their permanent desires make them a perpetual threat to any child they could potentially come into contact with.

I have a kid I mentor right now I will call, "Tyler". Tyler was abused physically, sexually, and otherwise by his father. As a toddler and continuing to the age of 5, he had sex acts performed on him and was compelled to perform sex acts. In one instance, his abuser put him into a dryer and tumbled him for several minutes resulting in 2nd and 3rd degree burns. I can't detail all of the abuse, but I read all of the police reports and court documents related to the abuse he suffered, and it was so horrific that Stephen King couldn't have imagined anything worse. The sexual abuse came to light when Tyler tried to perform oral sex on boys at pre-school. His father is serving 30 years.

Tyler, of course, had many, many issues as he grew up. He has had continuous counselling, and has had to be ordered into inpatient treatment several times for as long as a year for behavior that landed him in juvenile court. At times he was the sweetest, nicest kid you have ever met, and then he would turn into a violent, out of control person. It was like a switch was flipped and he became this completely different being. He was finally diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, and his treatment has been incredibly successful. We have seen only the good Tyler for about 2 years now. But the other Tyler was involved with really sick pornography, and he was catfishing another boy online, presenting himself as a girl. In that personality, he was very disrespectful toward authority (esp his mother and school officials), full of rage, violent toward peers and adults, very cunning, and sexually deviant.

This kid is really easy to love when he is just Tyler. Right now, he is doing well academically, he is doing well at home, and he has solid plans for his future that give him a real chance to have a good life. I have no idea what Tyler's sexual orientation is. I cannot talk to him about sex because it could trigger the other personality to come out, so the pros are working on that. All I can do is help him structure his life toward doing good things and making good choices. But I definitely have the sense that he is capable, or at risk, of some sexually deviant behavior when he is an adult in 2 years if the other personality re-emerges. I don't know if it would be on children or adults, and I don't know whether it would be to males or females.

I do get that many abusers are victims themselves. My biggest fear is that some day I may be in a position where my sympathies are contradictory to my principles. I hope that never happens, but every instinct in me tells me it is a real possibility with Tyler. And in that situation, because I love this kid, it will be pretty easy for me to go to "if not for" game where if not for the father's abuse, Tyler would not be an abuser. And the bottom line question would be: is that a justification or just the truth?
 
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OSUK said:
On a psychological basis, I do understand that Jeff S's abuse may have its origins in the abuse he suffered from Jerry S. But we can't go down that road legally. Once you are a full adult, you have to be fully responsible for your choices. From a human empathy standpoint, I could look at Jeff and probably feel sorry that he was damaged, and that damage had some role in causing him to damage others - but I wouldn't want that to impact innocence or guilt. Maybe sentencing. And yet, I have talked to many pedophiles, and I have not ever felt like I have seen a "cured" or reformed pedophile. Some line seems to get crossed when a man sexually gratifies himself on a pre-pubescent child, and my impression is that they never come back across that line. At best they control their urges out of fear of going to prison, but their permanent desires make them a perpetual threat to any child they could potentially come into contact with.

I have a kid I mentor right now I will call, "Tyler". Tyler was abused physically, sexually, and otherwise by his father. As a toddler and continuing to the age of 5, he had sex acts performed on him and was compelled to perform sex acts. In one instance, his abuser put him into a dryer and tumbled him for several minutes resulting in 2nd and 3rd degree burns. I can't detail all of the abuse, but I read all of the police reports and court documents related to the abuse he suffered, and it was so horrific that Stephen King couldn't have imagined anything worse. The sexual abuse came to light when Josh tried to perform oral sex on boys at pre-school. His father is serving 30 years.

Tyler, of course, had many, many issues as he grew up. He has had continuous counselling, and has had to be ordered into inpatient treatment several times for as long as a year for behavior that landed him in juvenile court. At times he was the sweetest, nicest kid you have ever met, and then he would turn into a violent, out of control person. It was like a switch was flipped and he became this completely different being. He was finally diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, and his treatment has been incredibly successful. We have seen only the good Tyler for about 2 years now. But the other Tyler was involved with really sick pornography, and he was catfishing another boy online, presenting himself as a girl. In that personality, he was very disrespectful toward authority (esp his mother and school officials), full of rage, violent toward peers and adults, very cunning, and sexually deviant.

This kid is really easy to love when he is just Tyler. Right now, he is doing well academically, he is doing well at home, and he has solid plans for his future that give him a real chance to have a good life. I have no idea what Tyler's sexual orientation is. I cannot talk to him about sex because it could trigger the other personality to come out, so the pros are working on that. All I can do is help him structure his life toward doing good things and making good choices. But I definitely have the sense that he is capable, or at risk, of some sexually deviant behavior when he is an adult in 2 years if the other personality re-emerges. I don't know if it would be on children or adults, and I don't know whether it would be to males or females.

I do get that many abusers are victims themselves. My biggest fear is that some day I may be in a position where my sympathies are contradictory to my principles. I hope that never happens, but every instinct in me tells me it is a real possibility with Tyler. And in that situation, because I love this kid, it will be pretty easy for me to go to "if not for" game where if not for the father's abuse, Tyler would not be an abuser. And the bottom line question would be: is that a justification or just the truth?
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There's a real human quality to every abuse case. Both victim and perpetrator. But we can never lose sight that, especially in cases of child abuse, there is a victim and there is a perpetrator. I pray for people like "Tyler" every day and you hope that he knows the cycle of abuse ends with him. He has that power and that's nothing his father can ever take away from him.

No one besides Jerry and Jeff Sandusky know the true nature of their relationship. Jerry is a sick man, one who should have been locked away a long time ago to protect the community from his disease. Unfortunately, it appears Jeff also suffers from a similar sickness. And, like you, I tend to agree that there is no known "cure" for pedophilia.
 
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I guess we should point out that we don't know what, if anything, was done to Jeff by Jerry. It would make sense to me that Jerry would adopt a kid, but stay away from him to provide a cover for his secret life. It would also make sense to me that Jeff was brought into the family as a default victim when Jerry was in between victims. Given that Jeff has shown some deviant behavior (or at least been accused of it), I think it increases the chances that he was a victim of Jerry. I hope he tells us the truth. We won't feel any better about what was done to him or what he did, but we will at least have all the facts.
 
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There is a cure for pedophilia - acute lead poisoning.
csm_rws_9_3x62_silver_2317215_802db2b21a.png
 
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OSUK said:
On a psychological basis, I do understand that Jeff S's abuse may have its origins in the abuse he suffered from Jerry S. But we can't go down that road legally. Once you are a full adult, you have to be fully responsible for your choices. From a human empathy standpoint, I could look at Jeff and probably feel sorry that he was damaged, and that damage had some role in causing him to damage others - but I wouldn't want that to impact innocence or guilt. Maybe sentencing. And yet, I have talked to many pedophiles, and I have not ever felt like I have seen a "cured" or reformed pedophile. Some line seems to get crossed when a man sexually gratifies himself on a pre-pubescent child, and my impression is that they never come back across that line. At best they control their urges out of fear of going to prison, but their permanent desires make them a perpetual threat to any child they could potentially come into contact with.

I have a kid I mentor right now I will call, "Tyler". Tyler was abused physically, sexually, and otherwise by his father. As a toddler and continuing to the age of 5, he had sex acts performed on him and was compelled to perform sex acts. In one instance, his abuser put him into a dryer and tumbled him for several minutes resulting in 2nd and 3rd degree burns. I can't detail all of the abuse, but I read all of the police reports and court documents related to the abuse he suffered, and it was so horrific that Stephen King couldn't have imagined anything worse. The sexual abuse came to light when Josh tried to perform oral sex on boys at pre-school. His father is serving 30 years.

Tyler, of course, had many, many issues as he grew up. He has had continuous counselling, and has had to be ordered into inpatient treatment several times for as long as a year for behavior that landed him in juvenile court. At times he was the sweetest, nicest kid you have ever met, and then he would turn into a violent, out of control person. It was like a switch was flipped and he became this completely different being. He was finally diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, and his treatment has been incredibly successful. We have seen only the good Tyler for about 2 years now. But the other Tyler was involved with really sick pornography, and he was catfishing another boy online, presenting himself as a girl. In that personality, he was very disrespectful toward authority (esp his mother and school officials), full of rage, violent toward peers and adults, very cunning, and sexually deviant.

This kid is really easy to love when he is just Tyler. Right now, he is doing well academically, he is doing well at home, and he has solid plans for his future that give him a real chance to have a good life. I have no idea what Tyler's sexual orientation is. I cannot talk to him about sex because it could trigger the other personality to come out, so the pros are working on that. All I can do is help him structure his life toward doing good things and making good choices. But I definitely have the sense that he is capable, or at risk, of some sexually deviant behavior when he is an adult in 2 years if the other personality re-emerges. I don't know if it would be on children or adults, and I don't know whether it would be to males or females.

I do get that many abusers are victims themselves. My biggest fear is that some day I may be in a position where my sympathies are contradictory to my principles. I hope that never happens, but every instinct in me tells me it is a real possibility with Tyler. And in that situation, because I love this kid, it will be pretty easy for me to go to "if not for" game where if not for the father's abuse, Tyler would not be an abuser. And the bottom line question would be: is that a justification or just the truth?
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As you say, Pedophiles are never reformed because the urges never go away. The might be able to control their behavior, but it's much like an alcoholic not drinking. They are an alcoholic for life, just like they are pedophiles for life. And temptation is everywhere, all the time.
 
Upvote 0
OSUK said:
On a psychological basis, I do understand that Jeff S's abuse may have its origins in the abuse he suffered from Jerry S. But we can't go down that road legally. Once you are a full adult, you have to be fully responsible for your choices. From a human empathy standpoint, I could look at Jeff and probably feel sorry that he was damaged, and that damage had some role in causing him to damage others - but I wouldn't want that to impact innocence or guilt. Maybe sentencing. And yet, I have talked to many pedophiles, and I have not ever felt like I have seen a "cured" or reformed pedophile. Some line seems to get crossed when a man sexually gratifies himself on a pre-pubescent child, and my impression is that they never come back across that line. At best they control their urges out of fear of going to prison, but their permanent desires make them a perpetual threat to any child they could potentially come into contact with.

I have a kid I mentor right now I will call, "Tyler". Tyler was abused physically, sexually, and otherwise by his father. As a toddler and continuing to the age of 5, he had sex acts performed on him and was compelled to perform sex acts. In one instance, his abuser put him into a dryer and tumbled him for several minutes resulting in 2nd and 3rd degree burns. I can't detail all of the abuse, but I read all of the police reports and court documents related to the abuse he suffered, and it was so horrific that Stephen King couldn't have imagined anything worse. The sexual abuse came to light when Josh tried to perform oral sex on boys at pre-school. His father is serving 30 years.

Tyler, of course, had many, many issues as he grew up. He has had continuous counselling, and has had to be ordered into inpatient treatment several times for as long as a year for behavior that landed him in juvenile court. At times he was the sweetest, nicest kid you have ever met, and then he would turn into a violent, out of control person. It was like a switch was flipped and he became this completely different being. He was finally diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, and his treatment has been incredibly successful. We have seen only the good Tyler for about 2 years now. But the other Tyler was involved with really sick pornography, and he was catfishing another boy online, presenting himself as a girl. In that personality, he was very disrespectful toward authority (esp his mother and school officials), full of rage, violent toward peers and adults, very cunning, and sexually deviant.

This kid is really easy to love when he is just Tyler. Right now, he is doing well academically, he is doing well at home, and he has solid plans for his future that give him a real chance to have a good life. I have no idea what Tyler's sexual orientation is. I cannot talk to him about sex because it could trigger the other personality to come out, so the pros are working on that. All I can do is help him structure his life toward doing good things and making good choices. But I definitely have the sense that he is capable, or at risk, of some sexually deviant behavior when he is an adult in 2 years if the other personality re-emerges. I don't know if it would be on children or adults, and I don't know whether it would be to males or females.

I do get that many abusers are victims themselves. My biggest fear is that some day I may be in a position where my sympathies are contradictory to my principles. I hope that never happens, but every instinct in me tells me it is a real possibility with Tyler. And in that situation, because I love this kid, it will be pretty easy for me to go to "if not for" game where if not for the father's abuse, Tyler would not be an abuser. And the bottom line question would be: is that a justification or just the truth?
Click to expand...

:sad2:
 
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Buckeyeskickbuttocks said:
There is a cure for pedophilia - acute lead poisoning.
csm_rws_9_3x62_silver_2317215_802db2b21a.png
Click to expand...
I'm really glad I never had a child of mine child abused. I have always wondered what kind of sentence you would get if you took matters into your own hands. By the letter of the law that's premeditated murder and there has to be a deterrent to individuals taking personal revenge, but I gotta believe the circumstances would lower the penalty. Got any sense of that?
 
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OSUK said:
I'm really glad I never had a child of mine child abused. I have always wondered what kind of sentence you would get if you took matters into your own hands. By the letter of the law that's premeditated murder and there has to be a deterrent to individuals taking personal revenge, but I gotta believe the circumstances would lower the penalty. Got any sense of that?
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Other than "A Time to Kill" not really. I haven't seen it in my career, but then, I'm not a criminal prosecutor or defense attorney. My guess is there is still a bias against taking the law into ones own hands, but people also understand acting on ones passion being a mitigating factor. I'd anticipate you'd do time, but probably not life.
 
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OSUK said:
I'm really glad I never had a child of mine child abused. I have always wondered what kind of sentence you would get if you took matters into your own hands. By the letter of the law that's premeditated murder and there has to be a deterrent to individuals taking personal revenge, but I gotta believe the circumstances would lower the penalty. Got any sense of that?
Click to expand...
 
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