Generally I pass out drunk with a frozen pizza in the stove and cook it overnight. That is how.
But you have identified the problem. You don't need to bring someone else into the equation to figure out if it's the shitty sauce, crust, cheese, or toppings. And you aren't trying to serve others that craptastic pizza you left in the oven. I know Dominoes are intended to fall down, but DB YRSOB started the toppling effect with a huge Hoke.
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