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Cleveland Browns (2017 Thread of Chlamydia)

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CookyPuss said:
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-cleveland-browns-1797293528

Yep.
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As for the rest of the depth chart, there’s living concussion Cody Kessler, who is the lone holdout from last season’s barge fire. And then there is DeShone Kizer. You might remember DeShone from the time he was benched by shrieking mangoblin Brian Kelly, or the time he boasted that he was Tom Brady in Cam Newton’s body:

“Why can’t I be the greatest? The only thing stopping me from it is me.”
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:slappy:
 
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:lol: so much gold
Do you know how awful you have to be to make the Cincinnati Bengals look like a model of competence? The Browns pull off this trick every year. It’s breathtaking. The Browns also lost to the Dolphins because their kicker missed three field goals. Did I mention that their special teams coach asked them to sign another kicker for that game, but the Browns signed a cheaper kicker instead? And did I mention that they flew that discount kicker in to watch him practice, but then never saw him practice because—and this is true—they had to leave for Miami before they could? What hope does your team have when it can’t even coordinate a fucking Delta flight properly? In Cleveland, Congress clowns you!
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Join us this year when the team finds a sack containing $1 billion in cash and promptly invests it in kazoo futures.
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:slappy:
 
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These articles are almost always the very best part of every NFL season.

Josh Gordon will have his 75th application for reinstatement lit on fire and stuffed into his anus.
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:lol:

Watching the Browns is like watching the late stages of fentanyl addiction.
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Maybe the best description of clowns fandom I've ever read.

HEAR IT FROM BROWNS FANS!

We’re more likely to use four quarterbacks than we are to win four games. Far more likely.
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Troof.

Jimmy Haslam is still calling the shots in a front office that couldn’t manage a lemonade stand.
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A guy with most of his hand blown off managed to pick-6 us, and that wasn’t even the biggest anti-highlight of the season.
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The Browns are shit. Shit is brown. Just rename the fucking team: The Cleveland Shits.
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I think I've said this more than once.

The Cleveland Browns suck because of shoddy ownership, poor decisions and even poorer execution. The REAL question is why do Browns FANS suck. We have allowed all of this to happen. We perpetuate the sadness. We gas up the lemon every year.
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Until Clowns stadium more closely resembles a Miami Hurricanes home game, nothing will change.
 
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