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Bump this thread every time you take a dump (Devin Gardner)

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Wow, I just got over this nasty bug and I must have pissed beef gravy out of my ass 20 times over the last couple of days. The soreness is legendary, painful and unforgettable. Puked about 10 times too, but I guess that's for a different thread.

I finally had my first solid deuce in 2 days and let my wife know of my success, only to excrete thick turkey gravy 20 minutes later and ruin the excitement of a recooperated cornhole.

Looking forward to my next porcelain battle to see what will come out. Crossing my fingers for some Ax-Men logs instead of Swamp loggers.
 
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UPDATE: Finally got another movement this morning and am happy to report that the pipes are back to manufacturing solid material. Still some lingering sting ring but all-in-all a blessing from above. Thanks for everyone's support during this tough turd time.
 
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reagdog;1877664; said:
UPDATE: Finally got another movement this morning and am happy to report that the pipes are back to manufacturing solid material. Still some lingering sting ring but all-in-all a blessing from above. Thanks for everyone's support during this tough turd time.
Click to expand...

That means you are ready to start putting this on your eggs in the morning:

ring-of-fire-xxhot-habanero-hot-sauce_1_std.jpg


That ought to clear you up for good.
 
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After having some issues with my stomach, I started eating a low fat-high fiber diet a couple weeks ago, supplimented with a good dose of metamucil in the mornings to help things, um, flow.

After a big dinner last night of mostly chicken breast, brocolli and cauliflower, and then my normal bowl of rolled oats this morning, I think the duece i just laid was the biggest I ever have laid in my entire life. I honestly feel a few pounds light after that one. Wow, this diet works!!
 
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