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Bret Bielema (HC Illinois)

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Thar (s)he blows.
 
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A Brief History of Bret Bielema’s Hideous Trolling

Saturday’s clash between Texas Tech and Arkansas may not seem like a particularly compelling matchup on paper, but it does feature a head-coaching battle for the ages: the biggest sex symbol in college football history versus Kliff Kingsbury, who’s also somewhat handsome.

Like any great showdown, the matchup between Bret Bielema and Kingsbury brings a clear good-evil dichotomy. With his utopian brand of football, uncanny resemblance to beloved actor Ryan Gosling, andpopularity with the kids, Kingsbury represents the side of righteousness and light. Meanwhile, Bielema is an unapologetic troll whose face is chiseled onto the Mt. Rushmore of odious FBS coaches. His chief redeeming quality might be his candor.
Bielema’s standing as a bully became more evident over time, most notably when he went for a two-point conversion at the end of a blowout win over Minnesota in 2010, a wholly unnecessary move that led to a postgame dust-up with then–Golden Gophers coach Tim Brewster ... Listen to Bielema try in vain to defend such a monstrously wicked decision. That right there is the voice of a coaching sociopath, ladies and gentlemen.
So, when Arkansas takes on Texas Tech on Saturday in a must-win game for Bielema, remember that it is your moral duty as a discerning college football fan to root for Kingsbury’s Red Raiders, your imperative to root against Bielema and his bullying ways. Bert is many things: a frat bro who never grew up, a troll with a persecution complex, and an opportunistic propagandist, and he deserves your scorn.
OUCH!!!

 
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