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MightbeaBuck
with hat in hand
I knew that.BayBuck said:
I'm a moron.:!
I gues I was thinking how they looked alike.
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OSUsushichic
Fired up! Ready to go!
from You and Me and Everyone We Know:
(two kids chatting on the computer with an older woman)
Peter: What should we write... I have a big weiner?
Robby: I want to poop back and forth.
Peter: What? What does that mean?
Robby: Like I'll poop into her butthole and she'll poop it back... into my butthole and then we'll just keep doing it back and forth. With the same poop. Back and forth. Forever.
(two kids chatting on the computer with an older woman)
Peter: What should we write... I have a big weiner?
Robby: I want to poop back and forth.
Peter: What? What does that mean?
Robby: Like I'll poop into her butthole and she'll poop it back... into my butthole and then we'll just keep doing it back and forth. With the same poop. Back and forth. Forever.
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Some from my all time favorite movie:
M*A*S*H
Hotlips O'Houlihan: I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.
Father Mulcahy: He was drafted.
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: Anybody know if this is an officer or an enlisted man?
Hawkeye Pierce: He's an enlisted man.
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: Make the stitches bigger.
Painless: [lining up during football game] All right, Bub, your fuckin' head is coming right off.
[the first use of the word "fuck" in a major motion picture]
Cheerleaders: Sixty-nine, is divine. Sixty-nine, is divine
Colonel Blake: Football game?
Gen. Hammond: Yeah, yeah, we put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun. Special services in Tokyo says it's one of the best gimmicks we've got to keep the American way of life going here in Asia.
Colonel Blake: Betting?
Gen. Hammond: No, football.
[Trapper has just opened a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer]
Hawkeye Pierce: I see you are a beer drinker, sir. Would you care for a martini?
Trapper John: A martini? Yeah, I'd love a martini.
Hawkeye Pierce: [to Ho-Jon] Ho-Jon, get the gentleman a martini.
[to Trapper]
Hawkeye Pierce: I'm sure you will find them satisfactory. They're quite dry.
[sips from his glass]
Trapper John: Don't you guys use olives?
Duke Forrest: Olives? Where in the hell do you think we are, man?
Hawkeye Pierce: We have had to make certain concessions for the war; we ARE three miles from the front line.
Trapper John: Yeah but without olives,
[reaches into coat pocket and pulls out a jar of cocktail olives - drops one into his glass]
Trapper John: a martini just doesn't quite make it.
[Hawkeye and Duke stare dumbfounded at the olive]
Capt. Peterson: [hostile tone of voice] What are you two HOODLUMS doing in this hospital?
Hawkeye Pierce: Ma'am, we are surgeons and we are here to operate. We just waiting for a starting time. That's all.
Capt. Peterson: You can't even go near a patient until Col. Merrill says its ok and he's still out to lunch.
Trapper John: Look, mother, I want to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid's chest and get out to golf course before it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have them rustle us up some lunch.
[turns to Hakweye]
Trapper John: Ham and eggs will all right.
[turns back to Capt. Peterson]
Trapper John: Steak would be even better. And then give me at least ONE nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her tits in my way.
Capt. Peterson: [outraged] Oh!
[turns to leave and bumps into Nurse in Japan]
Capt. Peterson: Oh! Fool!
[stomps out of ward]
Nurse in Japan: How do you want your steak cooked?
Gen. Hammond: Henry, I have some reports here from your Major O'Houlihan that I frankly find hard to believe.
Colonel Blake: Well, don't believe them then, General. Good-bye.
[hangs up]
[a gun goes off at the football game]
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh my God! They've shot him.
Colonel Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop. It's the end of the quarter.
[Trapper is guest of honor at a party celebrating his appointment as Chief Surgeon]
Trapper John: ...No. No booze. Sex. I want sex.
[notices Hot-Lips across the mess tent]
Trapper John: That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Bring her to me. Take her clothes off and bring her to me.
(Two black guys on the 4077th football team)
Cpl. Judson: Bastard, #88, called me a coon.
Spearchucker: Called you a what?
Cpl. Judson: Coon.
Spearchucker: OK, that's an old pro trick, to get you thrown out of the ball game.
Cpl. Judson: Well...
Spearchucker: Why don't you do the same thing to him?
Cpl. Judson: What, call him a coon?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066026/quotes
M*A*S*H
Hotlips O'Houlihan: I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.
Father Mulcahy: He was drafted.
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: Anybody know if this is an officer or an enlisted man?
Hawkeye Pierce: He's an enlisted man.
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: Make the stitches bigger.
Painless: [lining up during football game] All right, Bub, your fuckin' head is coming right off.
[the first use of the word "fuck" in a major motion picture]
Cheerleaders: Sixty-nine, is divine. Sixty-nine, is divine
Colonel Blake: Football game?
Gen. Hammond: Yeah, yeah, we put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun. Special services in Tokyo says it's one of the best gimmicks we've got to keep the American way of life going here in Asia.
Colonel Blake: Betting?
Gen. Hammond: No, football.
[Trapper has just opened a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer]
Hawkeye Pierce: I see you are a beer drinker, sir. Would you care for a martini?
Trapper John: A martini? Yeah, I'd love a martini.
Hawkeye Pierce: [to Ho-Jon] Ho-Jon, get the gentleman a martini.
[to Trapper]
Hawkeye Pierce: I'm sure you will find them satisfactory. They're quite dry.
[sips from his glass]
Trapper John: Don't you guys use olives?
Duke Forrest: Olives? Where in the hell do you think we are, man?
Hawkeye Pierce: We have had to make certain concessions for the war; we ARE three miles from the front line.
Trapper John: Yeah but without olives,
[reaches into coat pocket and pulls out a jar of cocktail olives - drops one into his glass]
Trapper John: a martini just doesn't quite make it.
[Hawkeye and Duke stare dumbfounded at the olive]
Capt. Peterson: [hostile tone of voice] What are you two HOODLUMS doing in this hospital?
Hawkeye Pierce: Ma'am, we are surgeons and we are here to operate. We just waiting for a starting time. That's all.
Capt. Peterson: You can't even go near a patient until Col. Merrill says its ok and he's still out to lunch.
Trapper John: Look, mother, I want to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid's chest and get out to golf course before it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have them rustle us up some lunch.
[turns to Hakweye]
Trapper John: Ham and eggs will all right.
[turns back to Capt. Peterson]
Trapper John: Steak would be even better. And then give me at least ONE nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her tits in my way.
Capt. Peterson: [outraged] Oh!
[turns to leave and bumps into Nurse in Japan]
Capt. Peterson: Oh! Fool!
[stomps out of ward]
Nurse in Japan: How do you want your steak cooked?
Gen. Hammond: Henry, I have some reports here from your Major O'Houlihan that I frankly find hard to believe.
Colonel Blake: Well, don't believe them then, General. Good-bye.
[hangs up]
[a gun goes off at the football game]
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh my God! They've shot him.
Colonel Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop. It's the end of the quarter.
[Trapper is guest of honor at a party celebrating his appointment as Chief Surgeon]
Trapper John: ...No. No booze. Sex. I want sex.
[notices Hot-Lips across the mess tent]
Trapper John: That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Bring her to me. Take her clothes off and bring her to me.
(Two black guys on the 4077th football team)
Cpl. Judson: Bastard, #88, called me a coon.
Spearchucker: Called you a what?
Cpl. Judson: Coon.
Spearchucker: OK, that's an old pro trick, to get you thrown out of the ball game.
Cpl. Judson: Well...
Spearchucker: Why don't you do the same thing to him?
Cpl. Judson: What, call him a coon?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066026/quotes
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Muck
Enjoy Every Sandwich
Not a single line, but by far my favorite monologue from a film...
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb...The Hiroshima bomb.
Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer.
You know how you know that in the water, Chief?
You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week.
Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.
You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour.
Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist.
At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up.
You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again.
So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945...Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb...The Hiroshima bomb.
Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer.
You know how you know that in the water, Chief?
You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week.
Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.
You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour.
Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist.
At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up.
You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again.
So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945...Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
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"WHAT? What ain't no country I ever heard of...they speak English in what?"
and I loved...
"So, pretty please, with sugar on top...clean the fuckin car" --The Wolf
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DiamondBuck
Football is 100% physical, 100% mental.
REPO MAN
J. Frank Parnell: Ever been to Utah? Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have them, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.
Otto: Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?
Parnell: Not at all. Friend of mine had one. Designer of the neutron bomb. You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people - leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It's so small, no one knows it's there until - BLAMMO. Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead. So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again
J. Frank Parnell: Ever been to Utah? Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have them, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.
Otto: Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?
Parnell: Not at all. Friend of mine had one. Designer of the neutron bomb. You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people - leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It's so small, no one knows it's there until - BLAMMO. Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead. So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4"]YouTube - Best Bob Hope movie line[/ame]
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BuckeyeTillIDie
The North Remembers
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHpM5US2HDs]YouTube - I drink your milkshake! (there will be blood)[/ame]
One of my favorite scenes to end a movie.
One of my favorite scenes to end a movie.
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ORD_Buckeye
Wrong glass, Sir.
FookMichiganTGJ;415322; said:
Why am I the mothefucker on brain detail?
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