The Lord's judgment has been thus:
In the first plague, the Lord's messenger known as JT turned the water of the River Huron into blood.
In the second plague, the land was beset by frogs riding exercise bikes.
In the third plague, the Lord said to his messenger, Bill (GBYYMSOB), "Stretch out thy Rod, and smite the dust of the land".
In the fourth plague, the Michiganites were tormented by a swarm of undersized, 3* slot receivers.
In the fifth plague, the unholy were afflicted with a diseased heifer.
In the sixth plague, bleeding ulcers appeared on the foreheads of the unrighteous.
Four plagues remain, the next being Storm of Fir[ings].