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Handing out trinkets to Big Ten favorites
July 28, 2006
Yeah, yeah ... awards usually are reserved for the postseason. But not in my slice of generic suburban heaven. (No more Applebees or Walgreens! Please!)
I have toy bins filled with junky, plastic trinkets I'm dying to get out of the family room. I stepped on a damn ball-and-cup game my son got in a gift bag at a recent birthday party. This stuff has to go! So, here I go.
The first BCS league to be feted: the Big Ten. Will the following please step forward. Please, please ... grab whatever you want from the bin as you leave the dais. I REALLY appreciate it.
COACHES
Wish I was him: Jim Tressel, Ohio State
Glad I'm not him: John L. Smith, Michigan State
He does the least with the most: Lloyd Carr, Michigan
He does the most with the least: Glen Mason, Minnesota
He does the least with the least: Terry Hoeppner, Indiana
He does the most with the most: Jim Tressel, Ohio State
I'm rooting for this guy to kick butt: Ron Zook, Illinois
Offensive coordinator on the spot: Garrick McGee, Northwestern
Defensive coordinator on the spot: Brock Spack, Purdue
PLAYERS
BMOC: Paul Posluszny, LB, Penn State
Unsung hero: Nick Roach, LB, Northwestern
Best backup quarterback: Justin Zwick, Ohio State
Best offensive player 5-10 or under: Dorien Bryant, WR, Purdue
Best defensive player 5-10 or under: Marquice Cole, CB, Northwestern
Watch him now, because he's turning pro: Ted Ginn, QB, Ohio State
If this guy gets hurt, his team is toast: Anthony Morelli, QB, Penn State
You need a yard, he'll get you two: Tony Hunt, Penn State
TEAMS
They'll be better than advertised: Michigan State
They'll be worse than advertised: Penn State
They'll be as good as advertised: Ohio State
They'll be as bad as advertised: Indiana
Walking the bowl tightrope: Minnesota
GAMES
Who's bringing the body bags? Youngstown State at Penn State, Sept. 16
Why on God's green earth are they playing? New Hampshire at Northwestern, Sept. 9
The rumaki and crab puffs can wait, I'm watching this: Ohio State at Iowa, Sept. 30
Plenty of good seats remaining: Temple at Minnesota, Sept. 16
They shoot horses, don't they? Indiana at Ohio State, Oct. 21
Ducat to die for: Ohio State at Texas, Sept. 9