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You know your a redneck when.....

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tedginn05 said:
... you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

... your front porch collapses and five dogs get killed.

... you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.

... that billboard that says, “Say no to Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.

... you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

... your wife’s hair-do was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.

... you go to your family reunions looking for a date.

... you think a Volvo is part of a womans anatomy.

... your Senior Prom had a Daycare.

... you’ve got more than three cousins named “Bubba”.
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You copy and paste "You might be a redneck if..." lines off of the web and pawn them off as your own.
 
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My favorite redneck related photo


ATT00046_jpg.jpg
 
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stxbuck said:
..you know kid's middle name is going to be Wayne before you have any idea what his first name will be-I know a Tennessee fan who really said just that
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That's really funny because the one Tennessean I know has the middle name Wayne, although since he's a black Ivy League-educated attorney I don't think he can really qualify as a redneck.

Actually, that's an interesting question: Can a black person be a redneck or do they just call black folks with redneck tendencies "country"?
 
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Jagdaddy said:
That's really funny because the one Tennessean I know has the middle name Wayne, although since he's a black Ivy League-educated attorney I don't think he can really qualify as a redneck.

Actually, that's an itneresting question: Can a black person be a redneck or do they just call black folks with redneck tendencies "country"?
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I think you just call them country-don't think they would appreciate the confederate flag infatuation most rednecks have. I have asked black people if they consider a jheri curl to be a black person's version of a mullet, and they all have said yes......
 
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uncle-sam.jpg
you for the:

The United States Redneck Special Forces

The Pentagon announced today the formation of an elite fighting group called the United States Redneck Special Forces (U.S.R.S.F.).

Rednecks from Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Louisiana, and West Virginia will be dropped off into Iraq, and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened last weekend.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. Some is queer.
6. The are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.


USRSF.jpg

Photo of Charlie Company: Bubba, Hoss, Cooter and Boo

The Army has prepared specially manufactured assault vehicles for the elite U.S.R.S.F. troops to use. Here we see Charlie Company's Tennessee Troop Transport, affectionately known as the 3T's.


You'll fly to IRAQ on:


The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by next Friday. Then on Saturday they will be dropped at the U.S./Mexican border.
 
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ScriptOhio said:
uncle-sam.jpg
you for the:

The United States Redneck Special Forces

The Pentagon announced today the formation of an elite fighting group called the United States Redneck Special Forces (U.S.R.S.F.).

Rednecks from Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma,Tennessee, Texas and other states will be dropped off into Iraq, and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened last weekend.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. Some is queer.
6. The are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.


USRSF.jpg

Photo of Charlie Company: Bubba, Hoss, Cooter and Boo

The Army has prepared specially manufactured assault vehicles for the elite U.S.R.S.F. troops to use. Here we see Charlie Company's Tennessee Troop Transport, affectionately known as the 3T's.


You'll fly to IRAQ on:


The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by next Friday. Then on Saturday they will be dropped at the U.S./Mexican border.
Click to expand...

How does West Virginia fall into the "other states" category instead of being specifically named?
 
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When I reached the point, "they taste just like chicken", it was a total write-off. I spit coffee across my desk and keyboard and laughed hysterically for an hour. Few things have caused me to laugh so hard in this life. I actually knew a paramilitary-type in Houston that looked just like Hoss. Darn, that's funny!
 
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