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Ok. So which one of you was this?




Before any of you fans from other cities think you have it worse than us, ask yourself:

1) Has your football team made it to the Super Bowl?

2) Do you have a sports franchise that won a championship (of any significance) in the last 66 years?

3) Did you cheer for a football team that moved to a different city, became a perennial contender (and won two Super Bowls), while, three years later, you received a bag of flaming shit on your door step with the words "Football Team" written on it in sharpie? Did that flaming bag of shit continue to burn for 15 years (and counting)?

4) Did the greatest basketball player of a generation make sweet championship babies with the least deserving city in the U.S., and then come crawling back to much adulation because your city is so goddamned starved for a championship that — like a man that has been in prison for several decades — it will take anything that remotely resembles what it's looking for to get the job done?

5) Has your "rival" football team beaten you 19 out of the last 21 times, the two exceptions being a 13-9 screamer played in -10 degree weather in 2009 and a 20-14 victory in which your Browns forced EIGHT TURNOVERS (3 INTs, 5 Fumbles) yet the game came down to the last possession?

6) Does your baseball team have the most racist logo in sports, but nobody gives a fuck because they haven't been relevant since the mid-1990s?

7) Did the only playmaker you've had in 25 years smoke and drink his way into what is looking more and more like a season-long suspension?

8) Has your football team played on Sunday or Monday Night Football since Barack Obama was serving as president?

Every single year I get excited about the impending Cleveland Browns season. Every single year I know I shouldn't be getting excited. Every single year I convince myself, that if EVERYTHING goes right, the Browns might go 8-8, which seems like an awfully modest goal. And every single year they go 5-11, or 4-12, miss out on the highest draft picks and lather, rinse, repeat.

On the bright side, it's going to be exciting to watch Johnny Football separate his shoulder trying to stretch a 3-yard gain into a meaningless first-down late in a game that doesn't matter because we were eliminated from playoff contention in mid-October.
 
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ohn:

I had to kid myself into thinking Colt McCoy and Carlton Mitchell were a competent offensive solution in 2010. I truly believed Peyton HIllis would return to form and wasn't going completely off the mental deep-end in 2011. I was 100% sure that Trent Richardson was the next Adrian Peterson and Brandon Weeden could function as a human being in 2012. I even thought that Paul Kruger and Barkevious Mingo would be the greatest DE duo in football in 2013. Now I'm forced to believe in a cocky bastard rich kid who hangs with Drake and Justin Bieber (while doing coke) on weekends, paired up with a coach who looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin's fatter brother.

:slappy:
 
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My aunt and I were drinking fairly heavily before and during the game, and at the beginning of the 3rd quarter my aunt left to use the restroom. She did not return until 10 minutes left in the 4th quarter, and was accompanied by a police officer. It turns out that she went to a handicapped bathroom, locked the door, and proceeded to take a nap on the floor (which was presumably dirty and piss-laden). Stadium security was apparently knocking on the bathroom door for several minutes before she finally woke up. The police officer who brought her back to our seats released her into my custody.

All of my friends pride themselves on how many times they've been to "Browns Jail" which is the drunk tank in the stadium you get sent to for being an asshole. Muni lot tailgates feature guys

pissing into their own mouths to be funny and disgusting girls walking around in Mudd jeans trolling for dick and free Shearer's Potato Chips.

When I lived in Miami I joined the Browns backers and 4 guys older than me had braces.
 
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I don't care enough about the clowns anymore to put in that much work. :lol:
I thought you just sorted through you old post and just posted some of the greatest hits .. the true giveaway was

And every single year they go 5-11, or 4-12, miss out on the highest draft picks and lather, rinse, repeat.
 
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Ravens are in!

Fans call in and complain about two things. Donny from Dundalk will say, "Ya know, I really like Adam Jones but I just wish he was more patient at the plate. I mean, he'd be an all-time great if ever learned to take a pitch." That will be debated by the hosts for the third time in the last hour only to be interrupted by Randy in Rosedale who, for some godforsaken reason, will beat the dead horse by saying, "I don't understand why Joe Flacco didn't organize an offseason workout with his receivers. With a new offense, they won't be as sharp once the season starts. How hard is it to pick up a phone and call Steve Smith and Owen Daniels, who already knows Gary Kubiak's system? He'll never be Peyton." This will light up the phone lines for the next 5 hours with the purple camo brigade jamming the airwaves with nonsensicalarguments.

If you ever hear these two words on Baltimore sports talk, RAY RICE, run. Jump out of your car. Listen to country music if you have to because you do NOT want to expose yourself to that. They make Stephen A. sound reasonable. They all start off their call the same way, "First of all, I just want to say, it's never OK to hit a woman..." then they justify domestic abuse. It's awful, it's painful, it has me screaming at my radio while driving to work while I'm screaming at traffic because they're building a fucking casino within a Joe Flacco overthrow from M&T Bank Stadium. I had cancer, four hours of chemo was a walk in the park compared to this never-ending torture.
 
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I agree with all the Browns "fucks" except Paul Brown. I am old enough to remember the glory years when the Browns beat everybody except the Lions. Super organized practices, sending in plays, helmet radios and special teams all started with Brown. He may have stayed too long, but in his prime he was one of the best.
 
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