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Until we get some sort of medical evidince to prove this I will not believe it. I know two people from my high school who openly admitted that they were straight turned gay and made a decision.
I agree that some bisexual and homosexual behavior can be a matter of choice. However we do have medical evidence to prove it. Many studies have shown that there are clear physiological differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals as evidenced by the research papers below. This would indicate that many people are genetically and biologically predisposed to being gay and it is not a conscious decision.

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Laura Allen, Melissa Hines, James Shryne, and Roger Gorski, "Two Sexually Dimorphic Cell Groups in the Human Brain," Journal of Neuroscience 9 (2)(1989): 497-506.

J. Michael Bailey and Richard Pillard, "A Genetic Study of Male Sexual Orientation," Archives of General Psychiatry 48 (December 1991): 1089-96. (This is the best known of the studies for concordance rates in twins. There are others.)

J. Michael Bailey and Richard Pillard, et al. "Heritable Factors Influence Sexual Orientation in Women," Archives of General Psychiatry 50 (March 1993):217-223.

J. Michael Bailey and Kenneth Zucker, "Childhood Sex-Typed Behavior and Sexual Orientation: a Conceptual Analysis and Quantitative Review" Developmental Psychology 31 [1] (1995): 43-55. Finding: about 75% of boys who exhibit "extremely feminine behavior" are gay as adults and about 10% of girls who exhibit "extremely masculine" behavior are lesbians as adults. For boys and girls who, respectively, display "feminine" and "masculine" behavior, in adulthood 51% and 6% are homosexual.

William Byne and Bruce Parsons, "Human Sexual Orientation: the Biologic Theories Reappraised," in Archives of General Psychiatry, Vol 50, March 1993p. 228-239.

R. C. Friedman, F. Wollesen, and R. Tendler, "Psychological Development and Blood Levels of Sex Steroids in Male Identical Twins of Divergent Sexual Orientation," Journal of Nervous Mental Disorders 163 (1976): 282-288.

R. W. Goy and J.A. Resko, "Gonadal Hormones and Behavior of Normal and Pseudohermaphroditic Nonhuman Female Primates," Recent Progress in Hormonal Research 28, (1972): 707-733. Of particular significance is that using hormones, Goy has also succeeded in masculinizing behavior in female rhesus monkeys without masculinizing their bodies. NOTA BENE social constructionists and environmentalists: Critics had argued that the correct interpretation of the early work with androgenized rhesus was that their masculine behavior was due simply to the fact that they looked male; therefore their peers treated them as though they were male; therefore they acted male. This anthropomorphic argument is notably disproven by Goy's feat: R. W. Goy, F. B. Bercovitch, and M. C. McBriar, "Behavioral Masculinization in Independent of Genital Masculinization in Prenatally Androgenized Female Rhesus Macaques," Horm. Behav. 22 (1988): 552-71.

Dean H. Hamer, Stella Hu, Victoria Magnuson, Nan Hu, Angela M.L. Pattatucci,"A Linkage Between DNA Markers on the X Chromosome and Male Sexual Orientation," Science 261 (July 16, 1993): 321-7.

Dean H. Hamer and Angela Pattatucci et. al. "Linkage Between Sexual Orientation and Chromosome Xq28 in Males But Not in Females," Nature Genetics 11 (November 1995).

Evelyn Hooker, "The Adjustment of the Male Overt Homosexual," Journal of Projective Techniques 21 (1957): 18. The theory of a connection between sexual molestation and homosexual orientation was studied in the 1950s and 1970s and, no correlation being found, was dispensed with. Data has, in fact, established that heterosexuals are more likely to molest children than homosexuals. See work of Charlotte Patterson, University of Virginia.

Simon LeVay "A Difference in Hypothalamic Structure Between Heterosexual and Homosexual Men," Science 253 (August 30, 1991): 1034-7.

Heino Meyer-Bahlburg, "Psychoendocrine Research on Sexual Orientation; Current Status and Future Options," Progress in Brain Research 61 (1984):375-98.

D. F. Swaab and M. A. Hofman, "An Enlarged Suprachiasmatic Nucleus in Homosexual Men," Brain Research 537 (1990): 141-148.

Frederick L. Whitam, Milton Diamond, and James Martin, in "Homosexual Orientation in Twins: A Report on 61 Pairs and Three Triplet Sets" (Archives of Sexual Behavior 22 [3] (1993), arrive at a 65.8% concordance for homosexuality for MZ twins and 30.4% for DZ twins. (MZ pairs were 34 male, 4 female.) There were also three sets of triplets; in two of the sets, there was a MZ pair concordant for homosexuality and one DZ sibling, who was heterosexual, while the MZ triplet pair were all three concordant for homosexuality. The figures slightly differ from those found by Bailey and Pillard, but the percentage ratios, which is the fundamentally important point, are almost identical. More extensive work will be needed to establish precise percentages for MZ and DZ concordance. Arriving at a concordance figure for MZ twins for any trait presents difficulties, primarily due to the differences between pair-wise versus proband-wise concordance measurements. Proband-wise concordance always inflates the true concordance, so a researcher must know the population base rate of the trait. (Obviously, the lower the population frequency, the more robust a particular rate appears). Also, in proband-wise concordance, a twin and a co-twin can, due to the logic of the method, be counted as two concordant pairs. However, proband-wise concordance carries some statistical advantages.)
 
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Do not judge others unless you are willing to judge yourself

I have 4 children, and because I have an 18 y/o brother that is openly gay, I will not judge, nor will my love for them falter. I will talk to that child about the difficulties they may face from some in society that believe it is their business to tell poeple how to live one's life and how being open could hurt them in the workforce due to judgemental individuals believing work habits are affected by one's preferences. I would also have the EXACT same conversation with the child if the person they were with was African-American, Latino, Asian, ect. Society as a whole is afraid to embrace anything that is not like ourselves. Close your eyes everyone is black and everyone appears the same. (Before someone says it, I didn't say see with your hands!) It is what is inside in the heart and head that makes one truly fall in love not what appears on the outside.

Just my HO.
 
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There have been some great responses. I agree with you guys that say that you would never know how you would react until you experienced the situation, first hand. I honestly believe that when I have children, and if I ever did come across a certain situation like this, that I would accept the fact that my son/daughter was gay. It would be a very difficult thing to understand, but it would be my child, and I would love him/her no matter what.
 
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It would just be unexpected...but lots of things are like that when you have a child...you really don't know what you are going to get. I really don't even know how i'm going to react to having a child, let alone if the child was gay. I'd probably worry, because of how closed minded our society is, but that is what it seems parents do about anything, is worry.
 
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I can tell you guys one thing, I can almost pick out right now which students are going to be gay when they grow up. It's apparent at this age. Right or wrong, I'm just being honest with you.

Hell, I have a cousin who when he was a little kid would play with pom poms and always acted like a girl and guess what, he's gay.

That's why I don't believe it is a choice, just a predisposition.
 
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tangient...

Woman says "why can't I find a kind, considerate, trustworthy man who would give a shit about my feelings"...
response: "they exist but they're gay and they aren't interested in you"
 
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I'll say something else.... (and this time be serious). If anyone is unfortunate enough to have a sick child or have any kind of health scare with one... you really don't care about things like this... you just care that they're healthy and happy.

A person could turn out to be a lot of things... I'd take gay over a serial killer any day.
 
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There seems to be some consensus here as to what to do/how to feel if you have a child who's gay. A more dynamic question might be, "How would you feel if you found out that a good friend was gay?".

As I mentioned in my first post in this thread, my best friend is gay. He came out openly in '97 (you would never know it by looking at or talking with this guy). We played for the same rugby club and there was a wide range or reactions to this news.
 
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I don't have kids, but I really doubt it would change my love for them, or my opinion of them. I would tell them that I would expect them to keep their sex life, and/or relationships out of my house.
Rugby is right tho-there are guys who act normal and happen to like the schlong, then there are the stereotypical leather wearing, Tony watching, show tunes singing, Rudy Galindo fan gays. My reaction would probably depend a great deal on which type my kid was.......
 
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I never knew whether to be jealous or not... but one of my really good friends growing up came out of the closet when he was 19... he then dropped about 100 lbs... and became, by far, the best lookin dude in the entire area... to this day... you line up all the guys in our old neighborhood and let a fab lookin gal take her choice.. and this guy would be the pick every time... 6'4 about 200.. very good lookin fella... top shelf fashion.. and owns his own hair salon in the money section of town...

I tempered and altered a lot of my feelings about gays from my friendship with this fella.. really a good man... and good person... just happens to be gay
 
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Wow pretty deep for this forum.

If he was at a sexually active age I would pump him full of Viagra and hire 2 smoking hot escorts and lock them in a room for several hours!!!!!

A. He will realize what he is giving up and such things will never be brought up again.
B. Reconfirm that fact that he is gay and I have 2 hot chicks for an agression fu** afterwards.

In the end it all works out and I would love him the same for sure.
 
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I never knew whether to be jealous or not... but one of my really good friends growing up came out of the closet when he was 19... he then dropped about 100 lbs... and became, by far, the best lookin dude in the entire area... to this day... you line up all the guys in our old neighborhood and let a fab lookin gal take her choice.. and this guy would be the pick every time... 6'4 about 200.. very good lookin fella... top shelf fashion.. and owns his own hair salon in the money section of town...

I tempered and altered a lot of my feelings about gays from my friendship with this fella.. really a good man... and good person... just happens to be gay


That's a cool story, but I mean why would you even consider wanting to be this guy (even though he has the looks that you say he does), when it won't amount to getting anything from women? If he's happy (which I'm guessing he is), then that's awesome, but I think that most people on here will say that they would rather be straight than gay. (This is not supposed to offend your or your friend, by the way).
 
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I can tell you guys one thing, I can almost pick out right now which students are going to be gay when they grow up. It's apparent at this age. Right or wrong, I'm just being honest with you.

Hell, I have a cousin who when he was a little kid would play with pom poms and always acted like a girl and guess what, he's gay.

That's why I don't believe it is a choice, just a predisposition.


Haha. I see exactly what you're saying. There are kids at my school that are exactly like this. They have no guy friends, and hang out with the "weird" girls. When it comes to guys, it seems that they are basically socially retarded. I have nothing against gay people (as I have said many times before in this thread), but I see exactly what you're saying, Thump.
 
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agreed that you can't know how you would respond until you are in the situation.

I would love him just the same. I'm not going to suddenly adopt relativism about homosexuality, however feeling something is wrong does not mean you have to treat your son any differently. That would clearly be a tall order to handle properly. Jesus spent most of his time with sinners, he never condoned their actions, yet they felt loved by him.
 
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