What would you do....

[Steve19]

I think most parents would act pretty aggressively. I have three friends who are gay. All are cut off from their families.

It is pretty pointless getting into the debate about the biosocial causes of homosexuality. I don't understand it and can't even comprehend what motivates it. However, even if one feels attracted to same sex relationships, one need not act on it, so I will comment accordingly.

If my child told me he/she was gay, I would explain that the choice of a gay lifestyle has a price. Every gay friend that I have has lived in incredible loneliness. Only one has had a long term relationship. All have felt disdain and scorn from people with whom they work and interact. No matter how protected by law, they have been promoted less often, received less for their labor and been subjected to other forms of discrimination. They have paid a tremendous price in loneliness, as perhaps best illustrated by every gay that I know over the age of 50.

I cannot know how it feels to think one is gay or to contemplate the lifestyle. Surely, there is loneliness whichever way one chooses and for that, without reference to my own religious beliefs about the inappropriateness of this behavior, I feel compassion for these people.

Having shared what I know about that, I would explain that every one of us has control over our sexual behaviour and that I would love him/her irregardless.

 

[Buckin' A]

Would I love my child? Absolutely. Would I see any of the things that gay guys do? No.

 

[FKAGobucks877]

I won't comment on this topic, because I agree that nobody can know until they are in that situation. More than likely, though, one of us would die.

Grammar Nazi here: Steve19, "irregardless" is not a word.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

If my child told me he/she was gay, I would explain that the choice of a gay lifestyle has a price. Every gay friend that I have has lived in incredible loneliness. Only one has had a long term relationship. All have felt disdain and scorn from people with whom they work and interact. No matter how protected by law, they have been promoted less often, received less for their labor and been subjected to other forms of discrimination. They have paid a tremendous price in loneliness, as perhaps best illustrated by every gay that I know over the age of 50.

I'm not trying to get this moved to the poli board, but (IMO) that doesn't seem to be a very good message to send a child. "People are going to have a problem with who you are, so you should change." It seems to me that the folks with the problem are the discriminators, not the folks who are being discriminated against.

In the grand scheme of things, sexual preference is unimportant in my book. I will love my child regardless.

 

[vrbryant]

I'm not trying to get this moved to the poli board, but (IMO) that doesn't seem to be a very good message to send a child. "People are going to have a problem with who you are, so you should change." It seems to me that the folks with the problem are the discriminators, not the folks who are being discriminated against.

Well sure. And the folks with the problem were the Nazis, not the Jews. But as a Jew in 1930s Europe, are you gonna lie and say you're not Jewish when the time comes and hide the fuck away, or are you gonna stand up and say, "Hey, man - YOU'RE the one with the problem, you dirty-dick goosestepper!"? Nothing wrong with being realistic.

 

[Brewtus]

I think most parents would act pretty aggressively. I have three friends who are gay. All are cut off from their families.

I'm curious to know whether they all came from religious families. In my limited experience, religion has been the primary motivator of parents who disown their gay children.

If my child told me he/she was gay, I would explain that the choice of a gay lifestyle has a price. .

A person has as much choice in being gay as they do in deciding what sex or race they are.

Every gay friend that I have has lived in incredible loneliness. Only one has had a long term relationship. All have felt disdain and scorn from people with whom they work and interact. No matter how protected by law, they have been promoted less often, received less for their labor and been subjected to other forms of discrimination. They have paid a tremendous price in loneliness, as perhaps best illustrated by every gay that I know over the age of 50.

This further supports my position that being gay is not a conscious decision. Why would anyone willingly choose to be the subject of discrimination, scorn, abuse and rejection?

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

Well sure. And the folks with the problem were the Nazis, not the Jews. But as a Jew in 1930s Europe, are you gonna lie and say you're not Jewish when the time comes and hide the fuck away, or are you gonna stand up and say, "Hey, man - YOU'RE the one with the problem, you dirty-dick goosestepper!"? Nothing wrong with being realistic.

So we are in agreement that the discriminator is the one with the problem. I know it is the idealist in me, but I expect the person with the problem to be the one who ought to change.

 

[vrbryant]

So we are in agreement that the discriminator is the one with the problem. I know it is the idealist in me, but I expect the person with the problem to be the one who ought to change.

We're 100% in agreement. Unfortunately, you can't count on pigheaded, bigoted shithats to recognize their own need for change.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

We're 100% in agreement. Unfortunately, you can't count on pigheaded, bigoted shithats to recognize their own need for change.

Fair enough. I've never seen it put quite so eloquently.

I agree with explaining that some people are assholes and you may be discriminated against due to sexual preference. However, I don't see it as a good argument against being gay because I believe homosexuality to be something that is by birth, not by choice.

It always seems to come back to the basic argument of "by birth" or "by choice".

 

[Golferdow01]

A person has as much choice in being gay as they do in deciding what sex or race they are.

Until we get some sort of medical evidince to prove this I will not believe it. I know two people from my high school who openly admitted that they were straight turned gay and made a decision.

 

[3yardsandacloud]

First and foremost, I can't view my children as homosexual or hetrosexual ... I can only see them as my children. We may not always be happy with each other, or the choices we might make, but they will ALWAYS have my love and whatever support I can offer.

 

[Fungo Squiggly]

Until we get some sort of medical evidince to prove this I will not believe it. I know two people from my high school who openly admitted that they were straight turned gay and made a decision.

And I know people who have known that they were gay since they were 9.

This discussion always ends up at the exact some point. It really is futile. :tongue2:

 

[Golferdow01]

And I know people who have known that they were gay since they were 9.

This discussion always ends up at the exact some point. It really is futile. :tongue2:

I agree. I thought the thread idea in the first place was bad. We'll continue to race in circles then eventually someone will take it personally and then we have a problem.

 

[NorthShoreBuck]

Excellent post 3yards.
Initially I suppose I would be concerned about many of the issues raised here. In the end they are my kids and that is all that is required for my support and love.

 

[NightmaresDad]

The other night, we were watching a movie where a black guy kissed a white girl, and my 2nd grader said something which really caught me off guard - he said he didn't like it when black people and white people kissed.
Well, at first, I was angry, then I wanted to know where this was coming from. And we explained to him that it doesn't matter what a person's skin color is, if tow people love each other. And I then added something like "but one should be a man and one should be a woman". And my 6th grader got pissed! He was appalled and angry with me for not giving a stamp of approval to homosexuality. I told him I have gay friends, and I live and let live, but I will not be forced to endorse homosexuality and I would pray for someone who is gay. We argued a bit, and I told him he had better study his Bible a little more, and then I made some dumb comment about him being brainwashed by his liberal teachers, and then agreed he would have to eventually find his own way on this subject, but I would always be there to talk to him about it, and I would also give my opinions just as he (and his liberal teachers) give their opinions.
It is difficult for him to understand at this point in his life how one can on the one hand not discriminate and oppress a gay person, love them and pray for them, and on the other hand know that their sexual preferrance is an affront to God (as is all sin, especially my own) and should not be condoned.
Our pastor has a great series of sermons on this subject and I suppose I will have to get them on CDs so I can teach my sons how to deal with this subject in a Biblical way.

Anyway, I'm more upset at Nightmare's comment than my older son's, for sure. It's a good coincidence that he just got a homeowrk assignment on MLK Jr, so we can discuss it. It's tough because your kids have so many outside influences, many of which are not good ones.