Mississippi Jerry.
Jerry Christ was Jesus's little known older brother. He was perhaps the first of the obscure siblings of world history figures. Like many others he didn't cope well with more famous brothers shadow and left Jerusalem a broken, bitter, failure of a man.
He went west in search of his own identity and to find a place where he could just be Jerry in peace. Unfortunately he was robbed, sodomized and killed (not necessarily in that order) by highwaymen near a large lake in the new world. The native tribesmen who witnessed the horrifying act were so appalled they named the spot "Ann Arbor" which meant "place where unlikeable douchebags get what they have coming" in their native tongue. For generation after generation the stigma of the incident led to tribes avoiding it at all costs. The only people who did live there were the moronic imbeciles banished from the tribe because of their inability to act like a fucking normal human being.
The moronic imbeciles reproduced at an alarmingly high rate, as they often do, and soon after had to create the worlds first asylum for the clinically repellent to contain the vast population of slappy bastards running amok in the area. This was the early precursor to that school up north and the genetic ancestors of it's inhabitants.
