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Certified baseball umpires who don't know the rules.
Certified baseball umpires who make up rules.
Certified baseball umpires who don't know the rules, or make up rules, when asked if they have a rule book say, "No".
Certified baseball umpires who, not knowing the rules or making up rules and not having a rule book, when supplied with one, exhibit the reading comprehension of a 3rd grader.
Certified baseball umpires, when trying to be helped with aforementioned lack of reading skill, state, "I don't care what the damn rule book says."
A certified baseball umpire with a "googly" eye. (Actually, anyone with a "googly" eye kinda creeps me out.)
Can anyone guess what I did this weekend?
Did you umpire a baseball game?