People from Texas don't sip tea
A Texas oilman and a British aristocrat are sitting next to each other on a first class flight from Dallas to London.
The Texan is trying to get some shut eye, but Brit keeps talking on and on, all boring Brit topics: cricket, bird watching, bell ringing, The Queen. Finally, the Brit starts talking about his favorite subject of all, the British national beverage, tea:
"You see, my good man, in England we simply love our teas. First, we have the Oolong tea, which is 90% essence and 10% substance. And then we have the Darjeeling tea, which is 90% substance and 10% essence. And, of course, we have the Earl Grey tea, which is preferred."
The Texan has had enough, so he leans over and says to the Brit: "Well, that there's mighty interestin', pardner. Y'know, in Texas, we got our own teas, different than yer all's."
"Oh, really! I would just love to hear about them!"
"Sure thang, pardner. Well, first off, we got the F-A-R-T, which is 90% essence and 10% substance. Then we got the S-H-I-T, which is 90% substance and 10% essence. And, of course, we got the C-U-N-T, which is preferred."