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The Funniest Thing You've Seen In Person?

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Brother-in-law and I were playing a round of golf a couple of years ago out here in the Chicago burbs. He hits his tee shot, a low line drive, right into the head of a flock of geese. Brains one of 'em. It put it's wings in the air as if to try to fly and then goes face first on the short-stuff.

We were both convinced that he had killed it. It was somewhere around the 15th - 16th hole so we had been drinking a pretty good amount by then and we laughed our asses off. Well, suffice it to say, we head up to check the damage. It took us a good couple of minutes to get up there because two others playing with us also had to hit. Whe we got up there the damn thing stands up and starts walking around like a drunken sailor. It must have had a headache for a month.

Fucking hate geese... still not the funniest thing I've ever seen... that would have to be a another course that my wife and I were playing on.

A couple of guys must have forgotten to put the parking break on in their cart. The cart was on a small hill while they went to hit their tee shots. As they were walking back to their cart it started to roll...

Rolled right into a pond. One of the guys held on to the back of the cart to keep it from going any further. Too bad, so sad... it ended up going all the way in. They had to bring out a truck to fish it out.

That still may not be the funniest thing I've ever seen... and again I saw this on a golf course. This was back in the mid-90s in Athens on the OU course. I was in grad school there and played a lot of golf. Some guy had his kid in his cart and went to his green to finish up the hole. The kid, I'd have to guess about four years old or so, must have seen his dad hit the gas to start the cart. Well, monkey see monkey did... The kid hits the gas and drives the cart directly over a five foot dropoff over a drainage ditch right by the Hocking River. The cart does a nose plant and the rear wheels slam to the ground... and the kid manages to stay holding onto the steering wheel, doesn't get hurt or anything. He didn't even cry. I imagine that he was scared shitless tho.

Hmmm... I need to play more golf. Only good things happen when I play golf.
 
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I apologize but this story involves pooooo.

I, two of my guy friends, and three girls head back to one of the girls' houses after going to a movie on a Thursday. (At Flickers, if anyone remembers it, where it was dark enough you could get a beer as a 17 year old.) So my friend Mike had to take an enormous crap. He had the "hot" girl he's going after in the car with us, and he signals to me (driving) that he doesn't want to pull over because he doesn't want to be uncool and be the guy having to take a crap at a McDonalds while trying to pick up the hot chick. I would love to know what he thinks of this decision now. He must still have nightmares.

We went back to my friend's house-- she was my "date," which means she was my friend and we were both playing third wheels. She had a great refurnished basement that her parents let her hang out in. She was not, however, allowed to have people over late on a Thursday night, or no boys at least. Her and one of her friends went in through the front door and let everyone else into the basement through the cellar windows in the unfurnished half.

The parents were still awake upstairs so we couldn't leave the basement. Instead, we just put on some bad MTV and drifted off into pairs to hang out and do whatever. Her basement, the carpeted part, was shaped like an L and Mike and his target were off in one branch alone for some quiet time.

Important: there was no bathroom in the basement.

Mike eventually couldn't take it any longer. He was doing great with the hot chick, though he wasn't that into it. Maybe that was why she came on so hard? They were under a blanket. He was just in his boxers. The parents hadn't made any noise for a good hour and were probably in bed. He had to go to the bathroom badly at this point and emerged from his part of the "L" sweating and looking like he was in intense pain. His girl, the "hot chick," got pissed and started chasing him to and up the stairs murmuring something at him. I don't remember what it was, but she was pissed he left her in the middle of something or other, perhaps. She chased him up the stairs and he was freaked out, so he did something entirely unnecessary: he slammed the door to the basement.

Her parents were up. They had just stopped walking around above us. They came running over to the basement door, where Mike stood freaked out and in his boxers.

He literally shit his pants. Right there, in his boxers, crap dropping out onto the floor. At this point we were all at the bottom of the stairs to see what was going on, except for the hot chick-- she had thrown open the door and was standing right next to Mike in total horror.

We couldn't see the parents from our angle, but Mike took off, in socks, boxers, and a t-shirt, and immediately slipped in his own crap. I swear to god it was straight out of Scooby Doo, you know where they run super fast but go nowhere for the first few seconds? Well once he got his head of steam he was gone. He ran out the front hallway and the front door.

Mike did not drive that night. He walked at least three miles home. He walked those miles in socks and shit-stained boxers.

We all got busted that night. But Mike got the worst of it. He never did hook up with the hot chick.
 
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