The former Presidents for usernames.

[John Q. Adams]

Roger Moore may have been a smooth playa as 007, but Duds was one great motherfuckin drunk...... and he fucked Bo Derek.

Anyway, life in the clean world is spectabulous. Who knew that a daily bathing regime would lead to so much tail? You should try it, you old goat.

How a dude with that haircut could get ANY tail is one of life's great mysteries.

Bathing daily? Seems a damnable shame to wash off the stank of the tail I do manage to get.

So.. I suppose it's to the kids table again for Al and I during the President's Day feast and orgy, eh?

That's OK, I guess... but... I refuse to be the guy responsible for mopping up in the morning.

Kids table for an orgy? You sick fuck. You're lucky we'll even let you mop up after us.

Also, take a whiff of that mop handle next time. Rumor has it that it'll smell a bit like Dolly Madison. Maybe you could wank to that for awhile?

 

[Albert Gore Jr]

So.. I suppose it's to the kids table again for Al and I during the President's Day feast and orgy, eh?

That's OK, I guess... but... I refuse to be the guy responsible for mopping up in the morning.


:cheers:

(you'd better grab a mop, Beardo)

A recent "study" by a "scientist" whose name eludes me discovered a causal connection between mopping and holes in the ozone layer. No go, Tommy.

Plus, I just got a mani/pedi and I'm not about to break a nail helping out these pricks.

 

[Samuel Tilden]

Happy Presidents Day to all my fellow office holders.

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

A recent "study" by a "scientist" whose name eludes me discovered a causal connection between mopping and holes in the ozone layer. No go, Tommy.

Plus, I just got a mani/pedi and I'm not about to break a nail helping out these pricks.

Who has allowed this impostor to infiltrate our ranks? You, sir, are no former President.

Besides, shouldn't you be floating on an iceberg somewhere?

 

[James Buchanan]

What's all this talk about orgies? I was not aware of any presidential orgies. I swear to god, you assholes always leave me out.

 

[Aaron Burr]

Happy Presidents Day!

Aaron Burr is a wuss

Oh that's fucking HI-GODDAMNED-LARIOUS from a bitch like you who hides behind some ridiculous moniker. "BuckeyeMike 80"? What kind of prissy bitch shit is that? Hell Alexander Hamilton could have even kicked your ass, and I'd lay even money on him getting his ass kicked by a large feather duster. You say that shit to my face...I dare you.

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Happy Presidents Day to all my fellow office holders.

Dream on, Tilden.
Perhaps you and Manbearpig should enter counseling to deal with your disappointments and stop living a fantasy?

 

[Aaron Burr]

Happy Presidents Day to all my fellow office holders.

Fuckin' A Tilden...you're, as the kids these days apparently say, "the man". We New Yorkers seem to get shafted every time this shit hits the fan. One question...why didn't you just glock the fucker?

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Oh that's [censored]ing HI-GODDAMNED-LARIOUS from a bitch like you who hides behind some ridiculous moniker. "BuckeyeMike 80"? What kind of prissy bitch [censored] is that? Hell Alexander Hamilton could have even kicked your ass, and I'd lay even money on him getting his ass kicked by a large feather duster. You say that [censored] to my face...I dare you.

Is this Wannabe Day or Presidents' Day?

Another poser begs for attention on MY day, and I'll have no more of it!

 

[Aaron Burr]

Indeed it is, even if it does come from one of those climate change haters.

Climate change? Is that all you have to bitch about? Isn't that the kind of shit interior decorators and Alexander Hamilton's subordinates whine about? I gotta say, Al...you tucked tail and ran pretty fast after that Supreme Court bullshit. What gives?

 

[Aaron Burr]

Is this Wannabe Day or Presidents' Day?

Another poser begs for attention on MY day, and I'll have no more of it!

YOUR day? Fuck off you mute half-wit. The only reason you were President is because that embezzling criminal you worked for died because he didn't wear heavy enough underwear. So spare everyone the idea you got there on your own.

 

[Chester Arthur]

Silent Cal's gonna be a goddmaned animal tonight. A lot of you may not know it, but when Cal gets all coked up, he's an absolute trip to be with.

Just keep him away from the farm animals, if you know what I mean.

 

[Samuel Tilden]

Dream on, Tilden.
Perhaps you and Manbearpig should enter counseling to deal with your disappointments and stop living a fantasy?

So, last year it was that dickhead Arthur, now this year it is you. What type of complex do you "I became president because my boss died" types have anyway?

Now shut up, silent.

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

YOUR day? [censored] off you mute half-wit. The only reason you were President is because that embezzling criminal you worked for died because he didn't wear heavy enough underwear. So spare everyone the idea you got there on your own.

Apparently, you have no knowledge of the election of 1924 when I kicked ass and took names versus Democrat John Davis and Progressive twinkle toes Robert La Follette.

Your accomplishments? The first VP to never serve as President and taking advantage of Hamilton's near-sightedness to kill him and your political career. Well done, sir.

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

So, last year it was that dickhead Arthur, now this year it is you. What type of complex do you "I became president because my boss died" types have anyway?

Now shut up, silent.

Your knowledge of electoral history is as bad as Burr's. No wonder neither of you matched my accomplishments. See "1924 election", Sammy.

You lose.