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- Thread starter The KSB
- Start date
BuckStocksHere
Semper Fi!
and just for fun:
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
and another:
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"
one little more:
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy
last one (for now):
RANK RECOGNITION MADE EASY
General
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Walks on water.
Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.
Colonel
Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline.
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks to God.
Lieutenant-Colonel
Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds.
Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
Major
Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy.
Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical.
Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.
Captain
Can sometimes handle firearm without shooting self.
Is run over by trains.
Barely clears outhouse.
Dog paddles.
Mumbles to self.
Lieutenant
Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised.
Recognizes trains two out of three times.
Runs into tall buildings.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings.
Talks to walls.
2nd Lieutenant
Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
Plays in Mud puddles.
Studders.
Officer Cadet
Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out.
Says: "Look at choo choo!"
Not allowed inside buildings of any size.
Makes good boat anchor.
Mere existence makes God shudder.
Sergeant-Major
Catches hyper sonic armour peircing fin stabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them.
Kicks bullet trains off their tracks.
Uproots tall buildings and walk under them.
Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture.
Is God.
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
and another:
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"
one little more:
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy
last one (for now):
RANK RECOGNITION MADE EASY
General
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Walks on water.
Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.
Colonel
Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline.
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks to God.
Lieutenant-Colonel
Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds.
Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
Major
Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy.
Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical.
Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.
Captain
Can sometimes handle firearm without shooting self.
Is run over by trains.
Barely clears outhouse.
Dog paddles.
Mumbles to self.
Lieutenant
Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised.
Recognizes trains two out of three times.
Runs into tall buildings.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings.
Talks to walls.
2nd Lieutenant
Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
Plays in Mud puddles.
Studders.
Officer Cadet
Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out.
Says: "Look at choo choo!"
Not allowed inside buildings of any size.
Makes good boat anchor.
Mere existence makes God shudder.
Sergeant-Major
Catches hyper sonic armour peircing fin stabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them.
Kicks bullet trains off their tracks.
Uproots tall buildings and walk under them.
Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture.
Is God.
Last edited:
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The KSB
4-4-11/11-5-11
Last day as a civilian
Well, this is my last day as a civilian. I probably won't be on the site much for a while after today. I'm going up to Cleveland to spend the night in the Embassy Suites. I'll get a 4:00AM wake-up call tomorrow and then it's off to Warrior transistion for four weeks and then 14 weeks of Officer Candidate School. Just think, while you fuckers are drinking beer and watching Buckeye games I'll be getting my balls worked off so drink an extra one for me.
See you fuckers on the other side!!!
Well, this is my last day as a civilian. I probably won't be on the site much for a while after today. I'm going up to Cleveland to spend the night in the Embassy Suites. I'll get a 4:00AM wake-up call tomorrow and then it's off to Warrior transistion for four weeks and then 14 weeks of Officer Candidate School. Just think, while you fuckers are drinking beer and watching Buckeye games I'll be getting my balls worked off so drink an extra one for me.
See you fuckers on the other side!!!
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gregorylee
I'd rather be napping!!
ScarletInMyVeins said:Congratulations KSB... make us all proud!
Never forget though... you're still a Homo
Jusat remember "Don't ask, Don't tell"
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Congrats and bets of luck KSB! thank you for your service to our country, making this the best damn country in the world!
*** dont rely on SIMV to drink an extra one for you, he hords them all for himself ***
*** dont rely on SIMV to drink an extra one for you, he hords them all for himself ***
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I had to drink them that fast so the beer girl would keep coming around... plus I was thirstyiambrutus said:
I would have offered you one but you had your pissy panties on and said you couldn't drink because of some kind of promimse thing or another.
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BuckPshrink
All-American
Tips...
Good luck, KSB!
1) Remember, there are no GPS' in the Land Nav course! (know your pace count)
2) NCO's are ALWAYS more eager to help a candidate!
3) Prepare ahead of time for your leadership rotations & ALWAYS have an 8 didget coordinate for the most common areas visited!!! (include letter designator)
4) During the inevitable screw up w/ a tac Officer screaming down your neck, Never, Never deviate from your first command choice!
Good luck, God Bless!
Good luck, KSB!
1) Remember, there are no GPS' in the Land Nav course! (know your pace count)
2) NCO's are ALWAYS more eager to help a candidate!
3) Prepare ahead of time for your leadership rotations & ALWAYS have an 8 didget coordinate for the most common areas visited!!! (include letter designator)
4) During the inevitable screw up w/ a tac Officer screaming down your neck, Never, Never deviate from your first command choice!
Good luck, God Bless!
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KSB, how many weeks of OCS do you have left, aren't you almost done?
How many acronyms have you learned in the last few weeks?
How many acronyms have you learned in the last few weeks?
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