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Stuff White People Like

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White people love bottled water!
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Gatorubet;1101419; said:
Black People Love Us!
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[FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono][SIZE=-1] -After saying a multisyllabic word such as "understand," Johnny will often follow it with a translation for my benefit like "Dig?" I am glad that he makes his big words accessible to me.

-Johnny always alters his given name and refers to himself in the third person -- for example, "J-Dog don't play that" or "J-Dog wants to know wusssaappp." It comforts me to know that my parlance has such broad appeal.

-Sally has a habit of showing me her running tally of the number of black people she greets everyday. I feel unique and special to be part of her statistical list.[/SIZE][/FONT]

:slappy:
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Nice find. This one is also good:

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[FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono][SIZE=-1]Sally and Johnny are always giving me my props on how good it is that I graduated from college and that I do not have any illegitimate children. The fact that I have never been to jail makes me a "credit to my race" in their eyes. They know my race needs all the credit it can get. Thanks for looking out you guys!

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This one definitely applies to me:
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[FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono][SIZE=-1][/SIZE][/FONT] #104 Girls with Bangs

June 27, 2008 by clander


If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.


A number of very popular white women have worn this hairstyle including Joni Mitchell, Jane Birkin, Jenny Lewis and every girl ever photographed by Vice Magazine or the Cobrasnake. (Note: it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with these two things as they are both beloved by cool white people. Follow up note: these same things are hated by cooler white people).


Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like. Of course, as with many things loved by white people, simple often means expensive and these haircuts usually cost upwards of $100.


It is essential for you to know this haircut is more than a mere fashion statement? it is an important cultural marking. Throughout the world, many cultures feature ceremonies to announce that a girl has become a woman. For white people, the haircut-with-bangs is an important symbol that a female has completed her transformation from a nerdy girl to a cool woman. In fact, if you went to high school with a nerdy white girl who moved to a big city, there is a good chance she will show up to your high school reunion with this haircut.


When you are introduced to a group of white people, it?s a good idea to befriend the girl with the bangs. She?s probably the most popular.


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