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Reds tidbits 2014 (official thread of windshield licking)

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Wow. Really letting this thread fall behind. Let me see if I can recap the off season so far......













Yep, pretty sure that's all of it.

These fuckknockers are going to bet the season on Billy Hamilton not sucking balls. You know the name of the contingency in place in case, you know the kid isn't actually ready to be the everyday CF and leadoff hitter ?

Schumaker, Skip F. One each.

I would say just go ahead and throw the damn towel, but the time for that was last years trade deadline. 2014 =
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Beat to death by some big goddamned gigantic bastard.
 
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Chapman either needs to start of be traded for a bat. Closer is the easiest position in baseball to fill. Our pitching staff is the backbone of the team and we have guys capable in the pen of closing behind Chap. We need guys that can flat out hit the baseball, and do it consistently.
 
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BuckTilIDie6 said:
Chapman either needs to start of be traded for a bat. Closer is the easiest position in baseball to fill. Our pitching staff is the backbone of the team and we have guys capable in the pen of closing behind Chap. We need guys that can flat out hit the baseball, and do it consistently.
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I'd rather he be a starter too, but let's not overestimate the Reds ability to fill the closer's role.

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buckeyescott11 said:
Even with the loss of Choo, I'm still optimistic about this season and it's because of one thing: no more Dusty Baker.
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That is some powerful mojo, no doubt.

My quick preview of 2014, (January edition);
  • Cozart, Willie Mays Hays, Hamilton....somebody has to hit first and get on base. We know for a certainty that 2 of them can't do it. Reds braintrust is all in on a bet that involves a rookie doing better in the bigs than he ever did in the minors with no discernible backup plan that doesn't involve names like Heisey and Schumaker in case he comes up a little short. I know it's hard to see a serious flaw in that plan but I'm still a little cautious.
  • LF, our big middle of the order RH bat. Unfortunately, this isn't St Louis and 35 year old fuckheads coming off major shoulder surgery don't hit like Ted Williams for a season in the 'Nati. Besides, lets own up to it and admit Reds fans aren't super passionate so if they can't do their job how can we honestly expect Deaddick to do his? For added fun remember that if the fans should make Deaddick play even worse than usual, or he should get hurt again (I know it's unlikely for an older guy with an injury history to get hurt again but I'm just saying IF) the back ups are once again, Heisey and Schumaker.
  • 3B, another spot you'd think you could find a middle of the order RH bat, instead we have Todd Frazier. The Jersey Jerkoff has a great glove and an affinity for the mentally retarded that make him a superb clubhouse presence for this team. Unfortunately the rules of the game require that he has to come to the plate with a bat in his hand (I wouldn't go so far as to say "hit") 3 to 4 times a game. His unique combination of Willie Mo Pena plate discipline and Todd Benzinger power result in him being somewhat underwhelming in this phase of the game. His backup is still Manos de Hanahan as far as I know but who really gives a shit?
  • SS and C; both guys here also make their outs from the RH batters box. Looking at the bright side, neither one is currently dead, injured or Skip F Schumaker.
  • 2B; Brandon Phillips, a.k.a. Willie Mays Hays, a.k.a. GIDP, a.k.a. DatDud. The poster boy of the Reds imo, all glove, no hit, mental midget with a baseball I.Q. that matches his uniform number. Likely the teams #2 hole hitter to ensure that should Hamilton be hit by enough pitches to have an OBP north of .300, Votto still leads the league in fewest RBI opportunities.
  • RF; Bruce is a damn fine player both offensively and defensively (maybe the streakiest sumbitch in the bigs but whatever.) Lets see if the new manager has the temerity to let the two best hitters in the lineup hit back to back or if he adheres to Dhusty's passion for frustrating the other managers late inning pitching substitution plans.
  • 1B; Big Game Joey Votto, a.k.a The Canadian Fruit Cup, a.k.a Vottina. Let's just cut to the chase, I think the fucker is crazy. Legitimately, certifiably crazy. You read comments from guys like Montana, Jordan and Reggie Jackson talking about how things seemed to slow down in pressure situations, how much fun it was to them, how confident and relaxed they were. Votto on the other hand looks like he's having a Jack/Tyler Durden fight in his head every time you look at him. With Dhusty gone, I think it will soon become clear Vottina was/is the mental and emotional leader of this team.
  • Pitching and defense will be great assuming fat fucking Cueto can throw the ball without pulling a rib loose again. Even if he can't the depth is pretty good and Dirty Hippie #1 is gone so that should help. On nights when they can shut the other team out I feel pretty confident the Reds have a better than average shot to win.


All in all when trying to forecast 2014 I come back to one simple thought;

It's the goddamned Reds, what do you think is going to happen?
 
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Latos has knee surgery.

Reds Spring Training is off to a tough start already. Starting pitcher Mat Latos had knee surgery on Friday to repair a tear in the meniscus of his left knee.
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The same injury only cost Votto a year and a half so far. I'm sure there is nothing to worry about.

Personally I think he'll be back running in no time but I tend to be overly optimistic sometimes.

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