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Random embarrassing instances about Romo's old man

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Taosman;784952; said:
Nothing is scarier than a woman with "high expectations"!
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Nothing is scarier than a woman with Expectations.
expectationsnr9.jpg
 
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Every New Years we used to head on over to my Aunt and Uncle's house to watch the ball drop and have a good time. We would always go out to dinner to a nice place then head back to the house to bring in the New Year. One year we went to a decent sea food place, and my dad had already eaten about a pound of shrimp cocktail earlier in the day watching football. So what does he order?...more shrimp cocktail but he wanted it with extra horseradish. So he gets his wish and it stinks up the table. We get done eating our meals and head back to the house around 10:45 in the evening and my dad instead of letting his stomach settle, he dives into the chips and salsa that my Aunt and Uncle bought him for his Christmas gift. They went to Jungle Jim's in Cincy to get him some off the wall salsa that was made with habanero's. Talk about hoovering 'em down and sucking down that salsa. So it's about 11:40 and my dad, in true form, sticks out the pinky, but he had enough sense not to let it rip, and disrespect the leather couch. He got up, turned to the direction of the bathroom, took 3 steps, and we thought he shit himself. He says, "Whoa, that was powerful. I'm even impressed. Seems like the shrimp and cocktail sauce isn't getting along with Chi Chi's like I thought it would." Meanwhile, the dog is having a seizure, and my mom is gagging, while my Aunt and Uncle are busy opening windows eventhough it's 2 degrees outside. And my dad is laughing his ass off all the way to the john. So by the time he's on the throne, my aunt and uncle and mom wanted to get him back. So it's about 11:55 and my aunt and uncle start the countdown from 30. My mom is yelling, "Hurry it up, you're going to miss it." And from inside the door you can hear my dad mowing through toilet paper, letting out sweet ones...at the same time. Then you hear, "Shit...help...help, I'm in trouble, help, I ran out of toilet paper." And by this time we're down to 10...9...8...7...and so on. My dad runs out of the bathroom with his pants halfway up down his legs, tighty whities blazing, hoping he can get a glimpse of the ball drop. We're all dying laughing and we notice that my dad wasn't wearing his socks.

Mom: "Where are your socks?"
Dad: "I threw them out."
Mom: "Well why?...what happened?"
Dad: "They had holes in them, that's why."
Mom: "Well where are they?"
Dad: "In the garbage, where do you think?"
Mom: "Well, it's a little rude to walk around someone else's house barefoot."
Dad: "Well, too bad."
Mom: "Well, obviously the ball didn't drop, so go put some socks on."
Dad: "Well fine then, need more toilet paper in the bathroom by the way."

My aunt goes in the bathroom to add more tp and she sees the garbage bag in the can tied shut. Obviously the bathroom stinks to high heaven from the bomb my dad just dropped, so she doesn't even think about the garbage bag tied shut. She walks out of the bathroom with the bag, and to her surprise, the bag smelled like shit. She comes back into the family room and says to my dad, "Why does this smell like shit?" My dad says to her, "Well, I ran out of toilet paper, these were brand new undies, my socks had holes in them, what was I supposed to do? The ball was dropping and I had nothing. I didn't want to flush the socks down the toilet, so I threw them out." My aunt says, "I've gotta hand it to you, you certainly make the evening more entertaining, Happy New Year, you certainly got off to the right foot." And my uncle is on the couch gasping for air from laughing so hard and my mom is sitting there with a blank stare on her face.

More stories to come...enjoy!

Romo
 
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Romanowski;787822; said:
Every New Years we used to head on over to my Aunt and Uncle's house to watch the ball drop and have a good time. We would always go out to dinner to a nice place then head back to the house to bring in the New Year. One year we went to a decent sea food place, and my dad had already eaten about a pound of shrimp cocktail earlier in the day watching football. So what does he order?...more shrimp cocktail but he wanted it with extra horseradish. So he gets his wish and it stinks up the table. We get done eating our meals and head back to the house around 10:45 in the evening and my dad instead of letting his stomach settle, he dives into the chips and salsa that my Aunt and Uncle bought him for his Christmas gift. They went to Jungle Jim's in Cincy to get him some off the wall salsa that was made with habanero's. Talk about hoovering 'em down and sucking down that salsa. So it's about 11:40 and my dad, in true form, sticks out the pinky, but he had enough sense not to let it rip, and disrespect the leather couch. He got up, turned to the direction of the bathroom, took 3 steps, and we thought he shit himself. He says, "Whoa, that was powerful. I'm even impressed. Seems like the shrimp and cocktail sauce isn't getting along with Chi Chi's like I thought it would." Meanwhile, the dog is having a seizure, and my mom is gagging, while my Aunt and Uncle are busy opening windows eventhough it's 2 degrees outside. And my dad is laughing his ass off all the way to the john. So by the time he's on the throne, my aunt and uncle and mom wanted to get him back. So it's about 11:55 and my aunt and uncle start the countdown from 30. My mom is yelling, "Hurry it up, you're going to miss it." And from inside the door you can hear my dad mowing through toilet paper, letting out sweet ones...at the same time. Then you hear, "Shit...help...help, I'm in trouble, help, I ran out of toilet paper." And by this time we're down to 10...9...8...7...and so on. My dad runs out of the bathroom with his pants halfway up down his legs, tighty whities blazing, hoping he can get a glimpse of the ball drop. We're all dying laughing and we notice that my dad wasn't wearing his socks.

Mom: "Where are your socks?"
Dad: "I threw them out."
Mom: "Well why?...what happened?"
Dad: "They had holes in them, that's why."
Mom: "Well where are they?"
Dad: "In the garbage, where do you think?"
Mom: "Well, it's a little rude to walk around someone else's house barefoot."
Dad: "Well, too bad."
Mom: "Well, obviously the ball didn't drop, so go put some socks on."
Dad: "Well fine then, need more toilet paper in the bathroom by the way."

My aunt goes in the bathroom to add more tp and she sees the garbage bag in the can tied shut. Obviously the bathroom stinks to high heaven from the bomb my dad just dropped, so she doesn't even think about the garbage bag tied shut. She walks out of the bathroom with the bag, and to her surprise, the bag smelled like shit. She comes back into the family room and says to my dad, "Why does this smell like shit?" My dad says to her, "Well, I ran out of toilet paper, these were brand new undies, my socks had holes in them, what was I supposed to do? The ball was dropping and I had nothing. I didn't want to flush the socks down the toilet, so I threw them out." My aunt says, "I've gotta hand it to you, you certainly make the evening more entertaining, Happy New Year, you certainly got off to the right foot." And my uncle is on the couch gasping for air from laughing so hard and my mom is sitting there with a blank stare on her face.

More stories to come...enjoy!

Romo
Click to expand...


:slappy: :slappy: :slappy:

I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard.

Reminds me of the Ryan's steakhouse story.
 
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Romanowski;787822; said:
Every New Years we used to head on over to my Aunt and Uncle's house to watch the ball drop and have a good time. We would always go out to dinner to a nice place then head back to the house to bring in the New Year. One year we went to a decent sea food place, and my dad had already eaten about a pound of shrimp cocktail earlier in the day watching football. So what does he order?...more shrimp cocktail but he wanted it with extra horseradish. So he gets his wish and it stinks up the table. We get done eating our meals and head back to the house around 10:45 in the evening and my dad instead of letting his stomach settle, he dives into the chips and salsa that my Aunt and Uncle bought him for his Christmas gift. They went to Jungle Jim's in Cincy to get him some off the wall salsa that was made with habanero's. Talk about hoovering 'em down and sucking down that salsa. So it's about 11:40 and my dad, in true form, sticks out the pinky, but he had enough sense not to let it rip, and disrespect the leather couch. He got up, turned to the direction of the bathroom, took 3 steps, and we thought he shit himself. He says, "Whoa, that was powerful. I'm even impressed. Seems like the shrimp and cocktail sauce isn't getting along with Chi Chi's like I thought it would." Meanwhile, the dog is having a seizure, and my mom is gagging, while my Aunt and Uncle are busy opening windows eventhough it's 2 degrees outside. And my dad is laughing his ass off all the way to the john. So by the time he's on the throne, my aunt and uncle and mom wanted to get him back. So it's about 11:55 and my aunt and uncle start the countdown from 30. My mom is yelling, "Hurry it up, you're going to miss it." And from inside the door you can hear my dad mowing through toilet paper, letting out sweet ones...at the same time. Then you hear, "Shit...help...help, I'm in trouble, help, I ran out of toilet paper." And by this time we're down to 10...9...8...7...and so on. My dad runs out of the bathroom with his pants halfway up down his legs, tighty whities blazing, hoping he can get a glimpse of the ball drop. We're all dying laughing and we notice that my dad wasn't wearing his socks.

Mom: "Where are your socks?"
Dad: "I threw them out."
Mom: "Well why?...what happened?"
Dad: "They had holes in them, that's why."
Mom: "Well where are they?"
Dad: "In the garbage, where do you think?"
Mom: "Well, it's a little rude to walk around someone else's house barefoot."
Dad: "Well, too bad."
Mom: "Well, obviously the ball didn't drop, so go put some socks on."
Dad: "Well fine then, need more toilet paper in the bathroom by the way."

My aunt goes in the bathroom to add more tp and she sees the garbage bag in the can tied shut. Obviously the bathroom stinks to high heaven from the bomb my dad just dropped, so she doesn't even think about the garbage bag tied shut. She walks out of the bathroom with the bag, and to her surprise, the bag smelled like shit. She comes back into the family room and says to my dad, "Why does this smell like shit?" My dad says to her, "Well, I ran out of toilet paper, these were brand new undies, my socks had holes in them, what was I supposed to do? The ball was dropping and I had nothing. I didn't want to flush the socks down the toilet, so I threw them out." My aunt says, "I've gotta hand it to you, you certainly make the evening more entertaining, Happy New Year, you certainly got off to the right foot." And my uncle is on the couch gasping for air from laughing so hard and my mom is sitting there with a blank stare on her face.

More stories to come...enjoy!

Romo
Click to expand...

:rofl:

This thread is freakin' awesome!
 
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honestly guys, if anyone read the fart story about the time I almost killed myself...my dad blows us away. At our house, we have a tiny bathroom on the first floor and I remember one day he was sitting at his computer in our basement, and I'm in the other room, and I smell this godawful odor coming from the computer room. I yell out ,"Dad, what the fuck man!?!?" He's like, "I know I know, I'm going." He walks up the stairs and every step he takes he lets out a duck fart, making sure to leave a trail behind him. I'm sitting there pissed, and from upstairs you can hear my mom yelling, "OPEN A WINDOW AND FLUSH THE TOILET, YOU MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!!!" Then you hear this hardy laugh from inside the bathroom..."I LOVE YOU TOO!!!" Seriously, you guys ever need to get the paint off the walls, give my dad a call, but make sure you have a jar of hot salsa. The worst gas ever.
 
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