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- Thread starter MililaniBuckeye
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alexhortdog95
Dumpster Fire behind the rows...
Good afternoon Buckeye Fam!
It's the week. I wanted to share with you guys and gals a series of emails I've been sending since week three on the college football season to a few of my old co-workers. One of the co-workers are from the East Lansing area, so she is a Sparty fan. She's a sweet lady, and extremely easy to deal with. The second of my co-workers is a Detroit native, and is more of a Pro football fan, so I've been giving it to him for the Lions.
It's that third guy. He's a Detroit native as well, but of course, he's the scUM guy. I give it to him any chance I can get.
Note: I always post the week after those games, and give the title of the email the current week (so, week 1's games are week 2's emails). Also, till this email I sent today, I was using the AP Top 25 rankings on my comments.
So, in honor of The Game:
Week 3:
6. THEE…Ohio State University – They had to beat the heck out of Luke Fickell. I guess they’re still bitter about that six win season from when he was the interim head coach…
10. Y’ALL GOT LUCKY. I won’t rehash this convo
Week 4:
5. Buckeyes – Dudes are just insulting folks at this point. They give up the first 5 points, then score 76 in a row against MOH. More to come on this one…
20. LOLVerines - I’m saving this one for last, because, well……hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I had some running around to do on Saturday morning, but had my stream all ready to go so I could watch Bucky take a hammer to the Lolverines. But even I didn’t know how bad of a beatdown was going to take place in Madison, Wisconsin. Sweet cream on an Ice Cream sammich. At least Jimbo’s khaki’s stayed wrinkle free (referencing the 15 Jimbo commercials for Downey I saw whilst his team was down 21-0). He needs asbestos fibers introduced into those pants, as his seat went from hot to CHERNOBYL. It was bad. Jimbo pulls Patterson because he was doing so terrible, then McCaffery gets murdered. You know you had a bad weekend when you pass Chip Kelly and Willie Taggart on the Hot Seat Rankings for 2019…
Week 5:
4. Buckeyes – These guys are the real deal. Ryan Day has them running like a well oiled machine. More to come on this one…
19. Oh Brother – Well, congrads, Jimbo. Boatraced against Bucky, and then to get your frustrations out, you take it out on Chris Ash and get him canned?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, could be Jimbo in “The Game” this year…my wife is more physically tough than Rutgers (see “Last Point”)
Week 5 "Last Point":
Sending this email is therapeutic. It’s been quite the eventful month for the wife. She had a major surgery on the 10th, then was out walking around (per doc’s orders), and imagine that, she was hit by a truck who basically Cali-Cruised through a stop sign. She has a cracked vertebrae, some bruising, nothing other than that, so she was very blessed and extremely fortunate. She’ll be in a brace for a few weeks, but she’s up walking, fussing, and complaining as if nothing happened. Rutgers football team, they ain’t so tough
Week 6:
3. Buckeyes – Well….at least you guys forced Fields to throw a pick for the first time this year, hahahahahahahahahahahaha. They beat up on an inept Northwestern team whose head coach seems to love holding on to timeouts.
16. Nervous Birds – Escaped…and boy do I mean, ESCAPED against Iowa. Lovie gots your back, though…
Week 7:
4. Buckeyes – They take a trip to Evansville to victimize Northwestern and Pat “I love time outs” Fitzgerald after beating up on Bye.
16. Funky Birds – Okay, man…..this is a WINNABLE game for you guys. Even though you struggled a bit last week against Lovie’s team, you can do this….right?
Week 8:
3. Buckeyes (7-0) – Friday’s pounding of Northwestern didn’t do that game justice. JK Dobbins has basically stated that he’s the guy now, and his long TD run in the first half was electric. They’ve got a wounded Bucky this weekend.
19. Jim’s Nervous Birds (5-2) - Boy, boy, boy. How you are ranked right now I do not know. I texted C prior to the kickoff of this game and said, “Good luck tonight, don’t pull a Bucky and lose.” He shoots me back a Batman gif, saying “No Way.” Here’s how the game started. The Nervous Birds received the kick, called for the onside kick. Comes out in formation, and their first play….is a TIMEOUT?!? The clock NEVER….STARTED….
I knew it was going to be an….interesting game. And it could have been won, too….and this kid DROPS A WIDE OPEN PASS.
Week 9:
3. Buckeyes – Can’t believe Bucky thought they had a chance for about 30 minutes. It was 10 – 0 at the half, and then the Buckeyes scored 28 in the 2nd half. This team is scary good. They’ve got the Turtle up next. Things not looking good the Saturday after Thanksgiving, C….
14. Nervous Birds – C…I got your text. Don’t think that beating up on a Domer team that didn’t really want to be out in all of that cold rain means y’all back. Y’all should make some Turtle soup this weekend, then a meeting with “Little Brother.” Sorry, J/S, but those weren’t my words
Week 10:
3. Buckeyes – I was on a Buckeye board during most of the games this weekend, and they’re still hittin on all cylinders. They’re ready to beat up on Maryland this week, and finish out the season strong. Funny thing is – Urban Meyer’s name is starting to float around for ALL of the upcoming vacancies that are probably going to be coming up. Don’t think that happens, of course.
14. Nervous Birds – Hope you enjoyed your bowl of Turtle Soup, C, because this is the week. The week where Sparty can play the spoiler to Big Brother. 4-2 against Big Brother since 2013.
Week 11:
2. Buckeyes – The only thing that seems to be able to slow these guys down is, frankly, the NCAA. While they put another 73 piece up on the Maryland-they’ll-get-a-win-next-week Turtles, a four game suspension came down for one Chase “The Predator” Young. And no, C, it’s not gonna matter on November 30th that he’s playing or not. This team is still scary good, but, their biggest test is waiting in Indy for them.
14. Nervous Birds – Well, here we go. While Jimbo is focused on this:
Dantonio is penning his goodbye speech right about now. It’s quite obvious he’s lost his team. Lord in Heaven, I cannot wait for Valenti today at 2. People are already talking replacements: https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/michigan-state-mark-dantonio-replacements-01dsddqpnvv8
Can Little Brother give Mark a happy goodbye with a win over Big Brother? Where does he end up? Anyways – I liken November 30th like when you were a kid, and you got into trouble at school or something else happened, and your parents were on the way home. You were all good until you heard the car coming into the driveway, and the feeling of sheer and utter dread washed over you. That is November 30th right now for Nervous Bird fans, and especially for Khaki Jimbo. Beat Sparty, so what? Beat Indy, who cares? Lose to the Buckeyes again, and it’s CHICKEN SAMMICHES FOR EVERYONE!!!
Week 12:
2. Buckeyes – Watch out, Rutgers scored 21 on the Buckeyes, even WITHOUT Chase Young. He gets a 2 game suspension, serves it, and RUT ROH, HE’LL BE AVAILABLE ON 11/30. Sorry, C.
12. Nervous Birds – Well, it’s easy to beat up on Little Brother when everybody is calling for Little Brother’s coaches’ head. 10 lousy points, J/S?!? Really? That’s how Dantonio is gonna go out? Mark is done, stick a fork in em. And all y’all did was get C’s hopes up for the 30th, but we know what is gonna happen. Indiana is a much better team than people are giving them credit for, and that game is in Bloomington this weekend. Watch out for the upset, trying to look ahead to the 30th. If I were Jimbo, I’d buy up every Popeye’s Chicken sandwich right now and feed it to the team. You know why, ha!
Week 13:
2. Buckeyes (10-0) – I know I said this before, but….you remember when you were a kid and did something early in the morning, and your Mom or Dad were like, “I’m gonna get you when I get home.” You went the entire day through school….not eating your lunch. All your I’s were dotted and T’s were crossed that day. You were on your perfect behavior all day, hoping that there would be a reprieve from what you knew was coming when you heard the car coming into the driveway. You were hoping that Mom or Dad had a wonderful day at work. Yeah….that’s how Nervous Bird fans felt all season long coming up to this weekend, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Now, mind you, they’re coming off a week where they beat Bye. The Buckeyes had their toughest challenge this season long, with a tough game where Ped State’s D kept Fields to 188 yards and 2 TDs. But we all know that’s just a game to them. This one….is personal. After they get the Nervous Birds, they play somebody in Indy for the conference championship.
13. That School Up North (8-2) – Things that have happened since 11/26/2011
One thing that HASN’T happened in all of those years, however…
I told my cousin who is a Buckeye Alum (and employee at the university Hospital) about this email I send out weekly, she told me that I had to throw out the “That School Up North” the week of The Game. Well, it’s here. Ya get past Little Brother….you get past Indiana….and now you are up against the big bully of the neighborhood. There will be texts throughout Saturday, so keep your phone on, C.
It's the week. I wanted to share with you guys and gals a series of emails I've been sending since week three on the college football season to a few of my old co-workers. One of the co-workers are from the East Lansing area, so she is a Sparty fan. She's a sweet lady, and extremely easy to deal with. The second of my co-workers is a Detroit native, and is more of a Pro football fan, so I've been giving it to him for the Lions.
It's that third guy. He's a Detroit native as well, but of course, he's the scUM guy. I give it to him any chance I can get.
Note: I always post the week after those games, and give the title of the email the current week (so, week 1's games are week 2's emails). Also, till this email I sent today, I was using the AP Top 25 rankings on my comments.
So, in honor of The Game:
Week 3:
6. THEE…Ohio State University – They had to beat the heck out of Luke Fickell. I guess they’re still bitter about that six win season from when he was the interim head coach…
10. Y’ALL GOT LUCKY. I won’t rehash this convo
Week 4:
5. Buckeyes – Dudes are just insulting folks at this point. They give up the first 5 points, then score 76 in a row against MOH. More to come on this one…
20. LOLVerines - I’m saving this one for last, because, well……hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I had some running around to do on Saturday morning, but had my stream all ready to go so I could watch Bucky take a hammer to the Lolverines. But even I didn’t know how bad of a beatdown was going to take place in Madison, Wisconsin. Sweet cream on an Ice Cream sammich. At least Jimbo’s khaki’s stayed wrinkle free (referencing the 15 Jimbo commercials for Downey I saw whilst his team was down 21-0). He needs asbestos fibers introduced into those pants, as his seat went from hot to CHERNOBYL. It was bad. Jimbo pulls Patterson because he was doing so terrible, then McCaffery gets murdered. You know you had a bad weekend when you pass Chip Kelly and Willie Taggart on the Hot Seat Rankings for 2019…
Week 5:
4. Buckeyes – These guys are the real deal. Ryan Day has them running like a well oiled machine. More to come on this one…
19. Oh Brother – Well, congrads, Jimbo. Boatraced against Bucky, and then to get your frustrations out, you take it out on Chris Ash and get him canned?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, could be Jimbo in “The Game” this year…my wife is more physically tough than Rutgers (see “Last Point”)
Week 5 "Last Point":
Sending this email is therapeutic. It’s been quite the eventful month for the wife. She had a major surgery on the 10th, then was out walking around (per doc’s orders), and imagine that, she was hit by a truck who basically Cali-Cruised through a stop sign. She has a cracked vertebrae, some bruising, nothing other than that, so she was very blessed and extremely fortunate. She’ll be in a brace for a few weeks, but she’s up walking, fussing, and complaining as if nothing happened. Rutgers football team, they ain’t so tough
Week 6:
3. Buckeyes – Well….at least you guys forced Fields to throw a pick for the first time this year, hahahahahahahahahahahaha. They beat up on an inept Northwestern team whose head coach seems to love holding on to timeouts.
16. Nervous Birds – Escaped…and boy do I mean, ESCAPED against Iowa. Lovie gots your back, though…
Week 7:
4. Buckeyes – They take a trip to Evansville to victimize Northwestern and Pat “I love time outs” Fitzgerald after beating up on Bye.
16. Funky Birds – Okay, man…..this is a WINNABLE game for you guys. Even though you struggled a bit last week against Lovie’s team, you can do this….right?
Week 8:
3. Buckeyes (7-0) – Friday’s pounding of Northwestern didn’t do that game justice. JK Dobbins has basically stated that he’s the guy now, and his long TD run in the first half was electric. They’ve got a wounded Bucky this weekend.
19. Jim’s Nervous Birds (5-2) - Boy, boy, boy. How you are ranked right now I do not know. I texted C prior to the kickoff of this game and said, “Good luck tonight, don’t pull a Bucky and lose.” He shoots me back a Batman gif, saying “No Way.” Here’s how the game started. The Nervous Birds received the kick, called for the onside kick. Comes out in formation, and their first play….is a TIMEOUT?!? The clock NEVER….STARTED….
I knew it was going to be an….interesting game. And it could have been won, too….and this kid DROPS A WIDE OPEN PASS.
Week 9:
3. Buckeyes – Can’t believe Bucky thought they had a chance for about 30 minutes. It was 10 – 0 at the half, and then the Buckeyes scored 28 in the 2nd half. This team is scary good. They’ve got the Turtle up next. Things not looking good the Saturday after Thanksgiving, C….
14. Nervous Birds – C…I got your text. Don’t think that beating up on a Domer team that didn’t really want to be out in all of that cold rain means y’all back. Y’all should make some Turtle soup this weekend, then a meeting with “Little Brother.” Sorry, J/S, but those weren’t my words
Week 10:
3. Buckeyes – I was on a Buckeye board during most of the games this weekend, and they’re still hittin on all cylinders. They’re ready to beat up on Maryland this week, and finish out the season strong. Funny thing is – Urban Meyer’s name is starting to float around for ALL of the upcoming vacancies that are probably going to be coming up. Don’t think that happens, of course.
14. Nervous Birds – Hope you enjoyed your bowl of Turtle Soup, C, because this is the week. The week where Sparty can play the spoiler to Big Brother. 4-2 against Big Brother since 2013.
Week 11:
2. Buckeyes – The only thing that seems to be able to slow these guys down is, frankly, the NCAA. While they put another 73 piece up on the Maryland-they’ll-get-a-win-next-week Turtles, a four game suspension came down for one Chase “The Predator” Young. And no, C, it’s not gonna matter on November 30th that he’s playing or not. This team is still scary good, but, their biggest test is waiting in Indy for them.
14. Nervous Birds – Well, here we go. While Jimbo is focused on this:
Dantonio is penning his goodbye speech right about now. It’s quite obvious he’s lost his team. Lord in Heaven, I cannot wait for Valenti today at 2. People are already talking replacements: https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/michigan-state-mark-dantonio-replacements-01dsddqpnvv8
Can Little Brother give Mark a happy goodbye with a win over Big Brother? Where does he end up? Anyways – I liken November 30th like when you were a kid, and you got into trouble at school or something else happened, and your parents were on the way home. You were all good until you heard the car coming into the driveway, and the feeling of sheer and utter dread washed over you. That is November 30th right now for Nervous Bird fans, and especially for Khaki Jimbo. Beat Sparty, so what? Beat Indy, who cares? Lose to the Buckeyes again, and it’s CHICKEN SAMMICHES FOR EVERYONE!!!
Week 12:
2. Buckeyes – Watch out, Rutgers scored 21 on the Buckeyes, even WITHOUT Chase Young. He gets a 2 game suspension, serves it, and RUT ROH, HE’LL BE AVAILABLE ON 11/30. Sorry, C.
12. Nervous Birds – Well, it’s easy to beat up on Little Brother when everybody is calling for Little Brother’s coaches’ head. 10 lousy points, J/S?!? Really? That’s how Dantonio is gonna go out? Mark is done, stick a fork in em. And all y’all did was get C’s hopes up for the 30th, but we know what is gonna happen. Indiana is a much better team than people are giving them credit for, and that game is in Bloomington this weekend. Watch out for the upset, trying to look ahead to the 30th. If I were Jimbo, I’d buy up every Popeye’s Chicken sandwich right now and feed it to the team. You know why, ha!
Week 13:
2. Buckeyes (10-0) – I know I said this before, but….you remember when you were a kid and did something early in the morning, and your Mom or Dad were like, “I’m gonna get you when I get home.” You went the entire day through school….not eating your lunch. All your I’s were dotted and T’s were crossed that day. You were on your perfect behavior all day, hoping that there would be a reprieve from what you knew was coming when you heard the car coming into the driveway. You were hoping that Mom or Dad had a wonderful day at work. Yeah….that’s how Nervous Bird fans felt all season long coming up to this weekend, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Now, mind you, they’re coming off a week where they beat Bye. The Buckeyes had their toughest challenge this season long, with a tough game where Ped State’s D kept Fields to 188 yards and 2 TDs. But we all know that’s just a game to them. This one….is personal. After they get the Nervous Birds, they play somebody in Indy for the conference championship.
13. That School Up North (8-2) – Things that have happened since 11/26/2011
- Adele had her first child, Angelo.
- Tim Cook (or Tim Apple, as one dude calls him) began his first year as the head of Apple.
- Edward Snowden.
- Pebble came out as a Kickstarter.
- PS4 and XB1
- Weed became legal in Colorado
- Net Neutrality
- Rachel Dolezal….sigh….
- The Pope visits the US
- Trump becomes President Trump.
- Prince passes away
- Flint water crisis
- Solar Eclipse
- #MeToo Movement
- The Eagles won the Super Bowl
I told my cousin who is a Buckeye Alum (and employee at the university Hospital) about this email I send out weekly, she told me that I had to throw out the “That School Up North” the week of The Game. Well, it’s here. Ya get past Little Brother….you get past Indiana….and now you are up against the big bully of the neighborhood. There will be texts throughout Saturday, so keep your phone on, C.
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You know this was a smart assed sarcastic dickhead of an answer to whatever dumb question he got asked.
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Honor&Glory
Paper,Rock, Scissors, Lizard, Spock!
all the national hacks ive listened today are calling for the scUM upset. right. on.cue.
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It's a contest between two states about who makes the best potato salad.
My money's on Idaho, they have the home field.
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It's like a goddamned morgue in here
It's HATE WEEK!!
fuck these arrogant sonsofbitches!! If you aren't ready to kill or die this week then you aren't doing it right.
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"Oh gee coach, they scored some points against fucking Maryland and Indigoddamnana. I'm scared and it's been an emotional week. Wifi was down and I couldn't get get my hashtags on Twitter for like 36 hours. Then my son said something offensive to his friend Seth over some apple slices at Montessori school....I'm just not so into this year..."
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