Most Embarrassing Moments (merged)

[Gatorubet]

I guess I had an embarrassing moment today. I ran into a couple and their son that I used to know from the race track. The son was a gang banger back in the day and has just gotten out of prison recently. What happened was he and his girlfriend robbed a store. He being the coward that he is sent her in to to the deed while he waited in the car. It didn't go as planned and she ended up shooting someone. They got caught, she got 20 years for her part and they gave him somewhere between 5-8. Anyway I ran into them, he had that "I found Jesus prison" thing going, was saying yes sir and no sir and so on. Suddenly he tells me that he has a business proposition for me. Without thinking I asked him if I'd have to shoot someone. He and his parents just stood there with an shocked look on their faces as we stood there together in an awkward silence. I excused myself and left, he had this facial tick going on that was making me kind of nervous.

I'd send them a copy of Abbott's "In the Belly of the Beast" to make it up to him...

 

[DubCoffman62]

I'd send them a copy of Abbott's "In the Belly of the Beast" to make it up to him...

I just might do that

 

[buxfan4life]

I guess I had an embarrassing moment today. I ran into a couple and their son that I used to know from the race track. The son was a gang banger back in the day and has just gotten out of prison recently. What happened was he and his girlfriend robbed a store. He being the coward that he is sent her in to to the deed while he waited in the car. It didn't go as planned and she ended up shooting someone. They got caught, she got 20 years for her part and they gave him somewhere between 5-8. Anyway I ran into them, he had that "I found Jesus prison" thing going, was saying yes sir and no sir and so on. Suddenly he tells me that he has a business proposition for me. Without thinking I asked him if I'd have to shoot someone. He and his parents just stood there with an shocked look on their faces as we stood there together in an awkward silence. I excused myself and left, he had this facial tick going on that was making me kind of nervous.

Dub, I would have asked him the exact same thing.

 

[TooTall]

I was reminded of a certain story.

 

[Zurp]

Here's someone else's embarrassing moment. A friend emailed it to me he found in another online discussion. I'll add the link when I get it from him:

From an online discussion about two separated siblings who met, married, and had a kid in South Africa:

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's farked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so farking beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shiat went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fark her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was farked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever farking seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Edit: Link to where he found it: http://www.fark.com/comments/670472...other-sister-Relax-West-Virginianot-this-time
The website links to this story: http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/off...over-they-are-brother-and-sister-ncxdc-110411

 

[kinch]

Okay, I have an entire "fail" weekend story.

When I lived in Boston, we visited my friend's summer house in Kennebunkport, ME for a long weekend. Everyone I knew from Boston either had a house there or somewhere on Cape Cod.

This was a crazy old house. It was actually surrounded by others and had no address, you had to get there through an easement on another property. It had been expanded a few times, but the oldest part still had wood sliding doors on the windows to protect from arrows from the natives.

So, it didn't have plumbing. It had a septic tank. For some reason this guy's family installed a urinal, I guess to save water and the need to drain the tank. There is where it started to go bad.

The toilet was TAPED closed because of an issue. I really had to go and figured I'd mash it down the urinal. As I tried to do this, the plumbing was all messed up and stuff started bubbling out of the toilet. Of course, it was then that a girl REALLY needed to used the bathroom (I'm not sure how she was going to do this) and barged in. Bad scene.

So, everyone already thinking I was a freak, we had a few beers and I started playing devil's advocate with the others who all believed in hunting. I am fine with it, and was just having fun. They used the typical "do you eat meat, hypocrite?" kind of argument, and I replied with "I may be for the death penalty, but I don't actively seek and enjoy going state to state to get to be the one to inject the drugs, which would be sick."

Okay, so all the women there hated me at this point.

Then we played whiffle ball two days straight. The ball was dented and wouldn't curve anymore, so we played fast pitch. I was the designated pitcher the entire time as I could actually aim the thing. The second day, my shoulder was in extreme pain, but I figured I would warm it out and go with it. I ended up tearing my rotator cuff.

So yeah. That was my weekend of fail.

 

[RB07OSU]

I was with some friends from Hilliard watching the OSU - West Viriginia game some years ago. We went across the street to my friend's neighbor's house to see the game on his big screen TV. We also threw back a few. Then, one guy's wife comes over and says "Don't panic but your baby just feel down the stairs". I jumped up, bounded up the stairs (we were in the basement) 2 at a time and flew across the street and tore into the house. Problem was, no one was there. I thought "what the fuck, did they do to the hospital?" I start racing through the house looking for people upstairs and down. Then I see a wedding picture on a shelf and realize I'm in the wrong house.

All those suburban Hilliard houses look alike to me. I'm lucky I didn't get shot. God knows where the owners were, maybe hiding from the drunken lunatic.

I'm only about 8 years late but same thing happened to me in Moscow. I was trashed and walking home to my apartment (they all look the same and have identical setups inside). I lived on the 3rd floor, only walked up one floor and went to the right. My key worked because it was presumably unlocked (unbeknownst to me). I walked in and notice my TV is missing and start freaking...someone fucking robbed me! I start panicking because someone is in my room, I hear something going on in there and the next few seconds did not register for me in time.

I burst in ready to take the thief down and about halfway in, I realized the sounds I was hearing in my room were sex things. I burst in on some doggy style and realized the girl living below me is pretty attractive. I turned and ran out after I realized I lived the next floor up. Moral of the story? I ended up hooking up with her in about a month and some time later, I realized why she looked so familiar.

 

[Deety]

Back in high school, there was a story about a woman who stepped out of the bathroom after a shower to find a man in her bedroom. He ran, and the police searched for several days. Turned out it was a guy who had just flown in from overseas to visit his brother, spoke no English, and had been given the wrong house number. He'd been given a key because his brother wasn't going to be home yet, but when he found the door unlocked he figured his brother made it home early, and went looking for him.

Poor guy ran from the house and spent three days hiding out in the woods, afraid of the police, and with no idea how to find his brother. When the police found him, he decided this was not the country for him, and immediately booked a flight home.