Got these in my e-mail this morning. Feel free to add your own.
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
_______________________________________________________
A cowboy at a bar in Pecos, Texas orders three mugs of Lone Star and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "I have two brothers. One is in Alpine, the other in Fredericksburg. I'm in Pecos. When we left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender tells him it is a nice custom. The cowboy becomes a regular, and always orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round the bartender says, "We don't want to intrude on your grief, but we wanted to offer our condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawned and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though....
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
_______________________________________________________
A cowboy at a bar in Pecos, Texas orders three mugs of Lone Star and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "I have two brothers. One is in Alpine, the other in Fredericksburg. I'm in Pecos. When we left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender tells him it is a nice custom. The cowboy becomes a regular, and always orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round the bartender says, "We don't want to intrude on your grief, but we wanted to offer our condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawned and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though....
