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It was nice knowing ya'll

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Dryden;1919386; said:
That silhouette in the bottom right is a pretty fair representation of me this morning on the throne trying to unload yesterday's Mother's Day pot luck feast.

And I did cry mightily the entire time.
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At least you are following what you read!

Dryden;1915557; said:
To go with your list:

http://www.cracked.com/article_19121_7-basic-things-you-wont-believe-youre-all-doing-wrong.html
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7 Basic Things You Won't Believe You're All Doing Wrong

#7. Pooping

What could be simpler than taking a good crap? Even babies are good at it. You might be surprised, then, to find out that even those of us who can burp without throwing up get this wrong every single day.

Chances are the pooping facility nearest you is a sitting toilet, a relatively recent invention that flushed its way into mankind's heart with the advent of indoor plumbing in the 19th century. Indoor plumbing has turned out pretty well for the most part, but the pooping style that came with it definitely has not. Pooping on a modern sitting toilet is a big part of where hemorrhoids come from, and it can also cause diverticular disease, an age-related condition that pretty much only occurs in parts of the world where sitting toilets are used, and which can lead to a range of pleasantries up to and including colonic obstruction. And things aren't getting better: The last few decades have seen a rise in popularity of "comfort height" toilets that sit two to four inches higher off the ground than older models and that make our pooping predicament even worse.

Cont'd ...
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Dryden;1919386; said:
That silhouette in the bottom right is a pretty fair representation of me this morning on the throne trying to unload yesterday's Mother's Day pot luck feast.

And I did cry mightily the entire time.
Click to expand...

Maybe if you'd dropped your trousers things would have turned out less tearful.
 
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Maybe I'm just in an empathetic mood, but I feel somewhat sorry for the sheep that buy this chit hook, line, and sinker. When May 22nd arrives, the vast majority will buy into some off-the-wall reason as to why the prophesy didn't come to fruition, but there are some that are going to be seriously hampered personally by this.
 
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At least we know that the pets of those that will be leaving us on May 21st will be well taken care of.

Pet Care Here!

The Rapture could leave a lot of dogs and cats looking longingly at their food bowls after their owners have floated off to heaven. That's where Centre comes in.

In 2009, he launched Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA. Centre guarantees that if or when the Rapture comes, he or one of his 44 contractors in 26 states will drive to your home within 24 hours, collect your dog, cat, bird, rabbit or small caged mammal, and adopt it. (Rapture rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys are limited to New Hampshire, Vermont, Idaho and Montana.)

The cost is $135, plus $20 per additional animal. Payable upfront, of course, and good for 10 years.

"Right now, we have over 250 clients," said Centre, 62, who is retired from a major retailer and pens anti-religion books under the name Dromedary Hump.

Most customers are in the Bible Belt. Centre said he can handle relatively secular western Massachusetts, Vermont and New Hampshire, where he lives, by himself.
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