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Gary Patterson (HC Little Sisters of the Poor, Tit Scrubber)

Here you go Gary:

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CFP Mouthpiece: "Yes sir Mr. Television Man with your pockets full of millions of dollars to spend on our product, we can offer you up one of two teams: The first one comes with a fight song you've never heard, a history that pretty much centers on Davey O'Brien and Slingin' Sammy Baugh, was abandoned by the Big Boys of the SWC and made to play in Conference USA and Mountain West until Texas and Oklahoma counted noses and realized they needed them back if they ever hoped to have a CCG, a fan base that measures in thousands and TV glamor out the ass in Waco and those parts of Texas that don't have cable or cell phone towers. Or we can give you a team with two fight songs everyone but Notre Dame fans recognize, a fan base that measures in the millions and would travel to the Gobi desert if there was a bowl game there, has a history of seven national championships and seven Heisman Trophy winners, plays in one of the oldest and most prestigious conferences, has more All-Americans than the other school has alums and can draw a 25.6 share TV audience to a Tiddly-Winks contest. Who ya want?"
 
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CFP Mouthpiece: "Yes sir Mr. Television Man with your pockets full of millions of dollars to spend on our product, we can offer you up one of two teams: The first one comes with a fight song you've never heard, a history that pretty much centers on Davey O'Brien and Slingin' Sammy Baugh, was abandoned by the Big Boys of the SWC and made to play in Conference USA and Mountain West until Texas and Oklahoma counted noses and realized they needed them back if they ever hoped to have a CCG, a fan base that measures in thousands and TV glamor out the ass in Waco and those parts of Texas that don't have cable or cell phone towers. Or we can give you a team with two fight songs everyone but Notre Dame fans recognize, a fan base that measures in the millions and would travel to the Gobi desert if there was a bowl game there, has a history of seven national championships and seven Heisman Trophy winners, plays in one of the oldest and most prestigious conferences, has more All-Americans than the other school has alums and can draw a 25.6 share TV audience to a Tiddly-Winks contest plus a better overall resume this year with more impressive victories. Who ya want?"
FIFY

Along with everything tOSU brings to the table in tradition, fan base, etc., what sometimes gets lost is tOSU had proven on the field (@ Sparty, @ Minny in horrible conditions, destroying Wisky with a guy who 10 days before the first game was 3rd string, and had never started a game at tOSU) that they deserved to be there. And the committee had said all along being a conference champion was a significant factor.
 
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I actually used to like Gary Patterson as a coach till last season, Art Briles as well but after the way they come out and complain like there were entitled to a playoff spot I lost all respect. Sure they may have been better than FSU but their resume didn't fit as the top 4. They played a weak schedule lost the 1 game that was worth anything and lost in terrible fashion blowing a 21 point 4th qtr lead! And they the funny thing is how ESPN is pinning them as preseason #1 already because they embarrassed the almighty ole miss rebels that went on to get blown out by Arkansas and didn't have their top reciever. Ole Miss was over rated and that bowl win shouldnt even be compared to what OSU did in 3 straight games or what Oregon did in 2 games till the NCG. Only team in Texas I can root for is Tech and now Houston since Tom Hermon took over. Other than that I could care less about a Texas school.
 
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CFP Mouthpiece: "Yes sir Mr. Television Man with your pockets full of millions of dollars to spend on our product, we can offer you up one of two teams: The first one comes with a fight song you've never heard, a history that pretty much centers on Davey O'Brien and Slingin' Sammy Baugh, was abandoned by the Big Boys of the SWC and made to play in Conference USA and Mountain West until Texas and Oklahoma counted noses and realized they needed them back if they ever hoped to have a CCG, a fan base that measures in thousands and TV glamor out the ass in Waco and those parts of Texas that don't have cable or cell phone towers. Or we can give you a team with two fight songs everyone but Notre Dame fans recognize, a fan base that measures in the millions and would travel to the Gobi desert if there was a bowl game there, has a history of seven national championships and seven Heisman Trophy winners, plays in one of the oldest and most prestigious conferences, has more All-Americans than the other school has alums and can draw a 25.6 share TV audience to a Tiddly-Winks contest. Who ya want?"
Did anybody else read this and then instantly wish there was a Bowl game in the Gobi desert?
 
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