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FIFA 14

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Just me checking back in to say how much I hate this fucking goddamned piece of shit game. Tons of hours I'll never get back playing it, and now it's officially like every other EA Douche game ever made...worthless. It is too easy on Professional level, I started 2 careers but quickly realized it was way too easy to beat anyone with a decent team and it made it boring. So after beating Juventus 8-1, I switched to the next level up, World Class, which seems to be the level everyone else plays at...and it's first class bullfuck. No matter what you do, their defenders are like teenage boys ripping at sticky panties, you have no space, no ability to work, no nothing, at any point on the field...even if you get behind them they just accelerate to take the ball away from you, and they don't get called for shit no matter how much they are gangraping you to get the ball from behind. They also just magically have more acceleration speed than you, but only right when you get behind them...you can outrun them from in front to just past them, then they just magically catch up and rape you of the ball. They always score a goal early, then go into 80 minute keepaway mode. You work an hour for an equalizer, and even if you are lucky enough to get one, they just blow downfield in the next 2 minutes to get another like they could have scored 100 by now...then go right back into keepaway mode. Somehow all their throughball passes magically find open space, but every time you try one, their defenders just step up and pick it off. Every. Fucking. Time. Meanwhile your AI guys are like retarded elephants trying to run across a piece of dental floss. They don't do anything. I hate this fucking game, I hate fucking EA sports, I hate the whole mess of fuckers that had anything to do with producing this abortion.
 
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Bucklion said:
Just me checking back in to say how much I hate this fucking goddamned piece of [Mark May] game. Tons of hours I'll never get back playing it, and now it's officially like every other EA Douche game ever made...worthless. It is too easy on Professional level, I started 2 careers but quickly realized it was way too easy to beat anyone with a decent team and it made it boring. So after beating Juventus 8-1, I switched to the next level up, World Class, which seems to be the level everyone else plays at...and it's first class bullfuck. No matter what you do, their defenders are like teenage boys ripping at sticky panties, you have no space, no ability to work, no nothing, at any point on the field...even if you get behind them they just accelerate to take the ball away from you, and they don't get called for [Mark May] no matter how much they are gangraping you to get the ball from behind. They also just magically have more acceleration speed than you, but only right when you get behind them...you can outrun them from in front to just past them, then they just magically catch up and rape you of the ball. They always score a goal early, then go into 80 minute keepaway mode. You work an hour for an equalizer, and even if you are lucky enough to get one, they just blow downfield in the next 2 minutes to get another like they could have scored 100 by now...then go right back into keepaway mode. Somehow all their throughball passes magically find open space, but every time you try one, their defenders just step up and pick it off. Every. Fucking. Time. Meanwhile your AI guys are like retarded elephants trying to run across a piece of dental floss. They don't do anything. I hate this fucking game, I hate fucking EA sports, I hate the whole mess of fuckers that had anything to do with producing this abortion.
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The bold says all that needs to be said for EA Sports games.
 
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Bucklion said:
Just me checking back in to say how much I hate this fucking goddamned piece of [Mark May] game. Tons of hours I'll never get back playing it, and now it's officially like every other EA Douche game ever made...worthless. It is too easy on Professional level, I started 2 careers but quickly realized it was way too easy to beat anyone with a decent team and it made it boring. So after beating Juventus 8-1, I switched to the next level up, World Class, which seems to be the level everyone else plays at...and it's first class bullfuck. No matter what you do, their defenders are like teenage boys ripping at sticky panties, you have no space, no ability to work, no nothing, at any point on the field...even if you get behind them they just accelerate to take the ball away from you, and they don't get called for [Mark May] no matter how much they are gangraping you to get the ball from behind. They also just magically have more acceleration speed than you, but only right when you get behind them...you can outrun them from in front to just past them, then they just magically catch up and rape you of the ball. They always score a goal early, then go into 80 minute keepaway mode. You work an hour for an equalizer, and even if you are lucky enough to get one, they just blow downfield in the next 2 minutes to get another like they could have scored 100 by now...then go right back into keepaway mode. Somehow all their throughball passes magically find open space, but every time you try one, their defenders just step up and pick it off. Every. Fucking. Time. Meanwhile your AI guys are like retarded elephants trying to run across a piece of dental floss. They don't do anything. I hate this fucking game, I hate fucking EA sports, I hate the whole mess of fuckers that had anything to do with producing this abortion.
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I feel like this FIFA, in particular, EA put their shitty stamp of approval on it.

Previous FIFA games felt like knowledgeable people worked on the game who know a bit about soccer.

This year's installment feels like they took everyone from the Madden department and said, "good luck"
 
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jlb1705 said:
NCAA Football developers gotta eat.
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Boom. Mind=Blown.

images
 
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Bucknut24 said:
The one thing that does bug me about the game is when playing pro clubs, the AI is VERY stupid....it does get pretty annoying when you lose games that are completely out of your control
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The only thing this game needs that could make it close to perfect is a "Ninja off" option. The problem I have is I either have to cater my sliders to a) regular 0-0 gameplay, or b) when the CPU randomly goes full ninja, breaking out the kung fu dribble, the Booker T spinerooni, and the 45 yard bombs into the top corner. I am still fucking with my AI sliders because I can't figure out how to set up a game so that I am not guaranteed to score AND not guaranteed to give up a goal. If I could just make every game hard, with the difficulty varying from game to game, it would be perfect. However scoring a goal on West Brom should not immediatley trigger their inner Barcelona.
 
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Finally got this fucker as un-ninjaed as I can, and I started my Soton season and had a great 1-0 win over West Brom, where both of us hit the post twice and the goalies made a couple of great saves each. So I could have won 3-0 or lost 3-1, but this looks like it will keep the wild goal numbers down (I was either scoring 3 per or giving up 3 per forever) and will give me competitive matches with like teams, which is at the core of fun gameplay. Sliders are mostly the ones you find on OS but with a couple of key adjustments, which I think took some ninja out and also kept me from scoring too much as well. Possession was higher for me (57%) because I was killing the game late, but I got out-tackled and shots were about even (14-17 range, with 7-10 on target). Looking forward to game #2 tonight to see if the trend continues.
 
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Bucklion said:
Finally got this fucker as un-ninjaed as I can, and I started my Soton season and had a great 1-0 win over West Brom, where both of us hit the post twice and the goalies made a couple of great saves each. So I could have won 3-0 or lost 3-1, but this looks like it will keep the wild goal numbers down (I was either scoring 3 per or giving up 3 per forever) and will give me competitive matches with like teams, which is at the core of fun gameplay. Sliders are mostly the ones you find on OS but with a couple of key adjustments, which I think took some ninja out and also kept me from scoring too much as well. Possession was higher for me (57%) because I was killing the game late, but I got out-tackled and shots were about even (14-17 range, with 7-10 on target). Looking forward to game #2 tonight to see if the trend continues.
Click to expand...

If this trend continues, can you post your sliders here?
 
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LovelandBuckeye said:
If this trend continues, can you post your sliders here?
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So I played game #2, at home versus Sunderland, which ended in a 2-0 victory. I should note they play a defensive 4-1-4-1 formation and I play a defensive 4-2-3-1, so I spent a lot of time controlling this game (56%) but offensive opportunities were limited...it certainly wasn't name my number. I scored early on a cross that I got a head on and slid a perfect cross in for a header right before halftime...that was it. I had a 10/7 shot split and held them to only 1 shot through the first 80 minutes by concentrating on defending (ended 4/1). Tackles were even, I got the only card, offsides were 5 apiece, passing was mid-70s for both teams. So, after 2 games I am happy with it...I guarantee I will not be winning 1-0 and 2-0 games against ManC and Arsenal. Here are sliders, in order (Human/CPU):

45/44
49/48
50/56
51/69
50/50
53/53
75/85
25/25
49/49
50/49
51/50
50/50
52/52
53/53
54/54
42 power bar
49/54

These are very similar to the OS sports ones with a couple of key modifications. First is the CPU shot error, which is raised to 56. I should note this doesn't affect finesse or chip shots, only regular shooting. So if they get a clean look you are giving up a goal, but if you can bump them off their line they are more likely to take a bad or savable shot. Also it cuts down on the 35-40 yarders and makes them almost impossible to go in. This is the biggest case of un-ninjaing. ALso both GK abilities are bumped to 49 to keep the goal total down. You now have to beat the keeper clean, if he can get to it he will save it, but clean headers and angled shots from close range still work. I dropped CPU marking one notch to allow a bit more space to work...this cuts down the ridiculous # of tackles that happen with too tight marking and also prevent too many through bals because they intercept them a lot. The other un-ninjaing I did was bump their first touch error to 54. They don't skork routine balls out of bounds, but this prevents 60 yard passes from being settled in stride and all the other ridiculous bullshit that pisses you off and makes you want to throw your controller. They can work the ball but it isn't Amazonian. I also have human sprint speed and acceleration up onr notch over the CPU, this may seem unfair but I find it makes it more even because the CPU always takes perfect angles and it is hard for a human to do that. Hope these work for you if you try them.

Oh, this is on World Class, 15 minute halves, SLOW game speed. The last 2 are very important because I have tried at normal speed and at 10 minute halves and it is an entirely different (and less enjoyable) game for me.
 
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Bucklion said:
So I played game #2, at home versus Sunderland, which ended in a 2-0 victory. I should note they play a defensive 4-1-4-1 formation and I play a defensive 4-2-3-1, so I spent a lot of time controlling this game (56%) but offensive opportunities were limited...it certainly wasn't name my number. I scored early on a cross that I got a head on and slid a perfect cross in for a header right before halftime...that was it. I had a 10/7 shot split and held them to only 1 shot through the first 80 minutes by concentrating on defending (ended 4/1). Tackles were even, I got the only card, offsides were 5 apiece, passing was mid-70s for both teams. So, after 2 games I am happy with it...I guarantee I will not be winning 1-0 and 2-0 games against ManC and Arsenal. Here are sliders, in order (Human/CPU):

45/44
49/48
50/56
51/69
50/50
53/53
75/85
25/25
49/49
50/49
51/50
50/50
52/52
53/53
54/54
42 power bar
49/54

These are very similar to the OS sports ones with a couple of key modifications. First is the CPU shot error, which is raised to 56. I should note this doesn't affect finesse or chip shots, only regular shooting. So if they get a clean look you are giving up a goal, but if you can bump them off their line they are more likely to take a bad or savable shot. Also it cuts down on the 35-40 yarders and makes them almost impossible to go in. This is the biggest case of un-ninjaing. ALso both GK abilities are bumped to 49 to keep the goal total down. You now have to beat the keeper clean, if he can get to it he will save it, but clean headers and angled shots from close range still work. I dropped CPU marking one notch to allow a bit more space to work...this cuts down the ridiculous # of tackles that happen with too tight marking and also prevent too many through bals because they intercept them a lot. The other un-ninjaing I did was bump their first touch error to 54. They don't skork routine balls out of bounds, but this prevents 60 yard passes from being settled in stride and all the other ridiculous bull[Mark May] that pisses you off and makes you want to throw your controller. They can work the ball but it isn't Amazonian. I also have human sprint speed and acceleration up onr notch over the CPU, this may seem unfair but I find it makes it more even because the CPU always takes perfect angles and it is hard for a human to do that. Hope these work for you if you try them.

Oh, this is on World Class, 15 minute halves, SLOW game speed. The last 2 are very important because I have tried at normal speed and at 10 minute halves and it is an entirely different (and less enjoyable) game for me.
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Thank you good sir. I am a single Daddy this weekend so I will have ample time to test them out. Also, do you control the whole team or just your player?
 
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