Favorite Simpsons quotes

[DGADBTWSOM]

Oh, Yea. See Avatar.

 

[Mr_Burns]

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie detector blows up)


And the quote responsible for my screen name...

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Post Office Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. And what's your first name?
Homer: I--don't know.

 

[buckeyegrad]

Karl: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
Karl: I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Karl: Apes. But they're not so big.

That one reminds me Lisa's vision of the future if she fails phys ed:

Judge: I now pronounce you President of these United --
Reporter: Stop the inauguration! I just discovered our President Elect got an F in second grade gym class! [crows gasps; Lisa is handcuffed]
Judge: In that case I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island. [to Lisa] Don't worry, it's just a name.
[Lisa and others are chased by fire-breathing monsters]
Lisa: He said it was just a name!
Man: What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula.

 

[Tomateaux Quinoa Gumbeaux]

 

[BigWoof31]

"Son - if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it.

Now quiet! They're about to announce this weeks lottery numbers!!"

 

[DaiMonMoore]

“I’m used to seeing people promoted ahead of me: friends, co-workers, Tibor. I never thought it’d be my own wife.”
“Well, maybe you’d get promoted if you worked a little harder.”
“Are you kidding? I work like a Japanese beaver!”
“Oh really? I came to see you three times today. Twice you were sleeping and once you were kicking that ball of electrical tape around.”