Favorite Simpsons quotes

[tibor75]

There are too many to mention, but here's a classic I don't hear very often:

"I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead!"

 

[buckeyegrad]

There are too many quotes to list them all, so I guess I'll just pick one character for now and add later:

Lionel Hutz:

"This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story."

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly, and replace 'dog' with 'son.'"

Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza."
Marge: "But we did win."
Lionel Hutz: "That's okay. The box is empty."

 

[DEBuckeye]

Homer:
"No TV and no beer make Homer something something."

"I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to church."

Ralph Wiggam
"Me fail english? That's unpossible."

You're right, there are WAY to many to even begin narrowing it down.

 

[BrutuStrength]

Homer to Krusty the Clown, apologizing for pointing at him in court during the identification process: "I'm sorry I fingered you court in the other day.

 

[diehardbuckeye]

Homer singing
"I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T"

 

[BuckBackHome]

I never apologize.
I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

 

[BuckeyeInTheBoro]

(The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.) Woohoo, four day weekend!

"If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every
day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

 

[Sloopy45]

From the Homer/Astronaught Episode:

Peg Bundy (on TV): "Al, lets have sex."
Al Bundy: "Ehhhhhhh, no Peg."

Chief Wiggum, in the Lisa/Babysitter Episode:

Lisa: "Goodbye Chief, have a good time at Bob Sagat."
Wiggum: "Nooo, its Bob Seger .. (looks at tickets) ... Awww, crap!!"

Homer, in the Apu/Valentine Episode:

"We gotta get that traitor Apu! Right after Happy Hour."

 

[IronBuckI]

Homer from the Chili cookoff episode:
"I hope I didn't brain my damage."

 

[Hubbard]

Ralph could be my favorite character, so:
"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"

 

[redskinbucksfan]

Lionel Hutz:

"You might remember me from such self help films as Smoke Yourself Skinny and Get Confident, Stupid."

 

[OSUsushichic]

Apu: "Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I work, I work!"

Homer: "I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming."

Homer: "Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz."

 

[LoKyBuckeye]

"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own."

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

 

[buckeyegrad]

Helen Lovejoy: We demand you bring in a police chief who will enforce the Prohibition law!

Myor Quimby: Demand? Who are you to demand? I run this city. You're just a bunch of low-income nobodies!

Aid: Uh, election in November. Election in November.

Mayor Quimby: What? Again? This stupid country!

 

[Yeahterps]

Homer

Ok brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. So, let's get this over with so I can continue killing you with beer.