Fantasy Premier League 2012/2013

[Smudger]

Great, two of my forwards aren't starting today (Shane Long & Tevez). Just what I needed. I could really use another Wildcard at this point, because my team absolutely blows. It will be a struggle just to stay near the top now.

 

[Smudger]

And the free-fall plummet from the top continues. No end in sight either. Looks like I might have to take an insane point deduction to make wholesale changes to this pathetic squad. Most of these guys were what got me in 1st after I used my wildcard & now they've done absolutely nothing. Yeah, I'm speaking to you Tim Krul (Never playing a Newcastle Goalie, Defender or Midfielder EVER again. They absolutely blow), Leighton Baines (No one on Everton exists except for Fellaini), Steven Pienaar (See previous parenthesis), Wayne Routledge (Thanks for scoring two goals after I dropped you for not doing a [censored]ing thing in six games) & Basically every single midfielder I've used, notably Kevin Nolan (Only scores when I don't play him). Such a frustrating game when you only get one free transfer each gameweek, especially when your entire team just sucks like mine right now.

 

[Jake]

I took a picture of the standings because there's no way this can hold up. If it does, I'll have to brush up on my English accent and "football" terminology.

 

[Smudger]

I took a picture of the standings because there's no way this can hold up. If it does, I'll have to brush up on my English accent and "football" terminology.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just rub it some more will ya ? You don't have to be so modest about it. Just kidding of course. I desperately need another Wildcard.

Krul & Newcastle are absolutely worthless (Three straight games of two goals conceded & no clean sheets in seven straight, Buh bye), but Ben Foster seems to get his injury pushed back every week, so a new goalie is on the way (will probably suck too). Leighton Baines, brilliant until gameweek 9, just had to get injured yesterday, so there's another replacement. Eden Hazard has only one goal & ZERO assists in his last five games and at the rate Chelsea are playing & his $10m cost, he's gone. Yaya Toure despite playing 90 minutes virtually every game & getting clutch bonus points here & there only has one assist & zero goals in the past ELEVEN games. Stephen Pienaar, who was awesome until gameweek 7, has done absolutely nothing since, gone (Fellaini come on down). Carlos Tevez had a 2 goal + 2 assist game two games ago, but hasn't done shit in the other four since Aguero has returned & Mancini is a mad man, gone. Shane Long was my captain this week, but didn't even play, but he's staying because no way Lukaku starts two straight (probably will though) on short rest. Kevin Nolan only has one goal in the six gameweeks I've had him & it obviously came the week I didn't play him, so adios. I don't even know why Carl Jenkinson is still on my team, he's only played once in the past six games, au revoir. Winston Reid doesn't even need a rant & there are no words for my fury at Wayne Routledge after dropping him last gameweek, fuck that guy.

All in all, I'm looking at making 5-6 transfers this week. What's another 20-24 point deduction when these guys only get 1-2 points every week ? Might as well have some fun with it.

 

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just rub it some more will ya ? You don't have to be so modest about it.

I'm having fun with it while I can since I knew about 5-6 players in the league when I signed up for it. My goal is to not finish last.

 

[tAFKaT]

Thanks to my constant tinkering, I am dropping like a [Mark May]ing stone.

 

[tAFKaT]

Are you looking forward to the January wildcard? I know I am.

 

[Smudger]

Are you looking forward to the January wildcard? I know I am.

I'm sure it will give me an immediate boost like it did last time (1st place in no time), but it will probably destroy my squad down the road (66 points back in 4th place) much like what is currently happening. My team is hopeless. I've used 26 transfers in 17 gameweeks if that is any indication & I NEVER used more than one per gameweek when I was in first place.

Just follow these harsh lessons I learned & you should be fine.

1) Never use any Newcastle player besides Demba Ba. They all suck.
2) Never use any Everton player besides Maroune Fellaini. ZERO ability to keep a clean sheet & he's the only one who can score.
3) Never use any Swansea City player besides Michu. Dyer, Routledge & Williams can all go to hell.
4) Never use ANY West Brom player. Fell into the same trap I did with Swansea City (Good scoring & good results) earlier in the season & got NOTHING from James Morrison & Shane Long, who were on a tear before I added them. Fuck them.

 

[Jake]

I'm sure it will give me an immediate boost like it did last time (1st place in no time), but it will probably destroy my squad down the road (66 points back in 4th place) much like what is currently happening. My team is hopeless. I've used 26 transfers in 17 gameweeks if that is any indication & I NEVER used more than one per gameweek when I was in first place.

Just follow these harsh lessons I learned & you should be fine.

1) Never use any Newcastle player besides Demba Ba. They all suck.
2) Never use any Everton player besides Maroune Fellaini. ZERO ability to keep a clean sheet & he's the only one who can score.
3) Never use any Swansea City player besides Michu. Dyer, Routledge & Williams can all go to hell.
4) Never use ANY West Brom player. Fell into the same trap I did with Swansea City (Good scoring & good results) earlier in the season & got NOTHING from James Morrison & Shane Long, who were on a tear before I added them. Fuck them.

1. Check. Ba is the only one I've used.
2. Check. Fellaini is it.
3. Check. Only Michu.
4. Check. No West Brom guys.

Not bad for a rookie.

 

[Jake]

Are you looking forward to the January wildcard? I know I am.

Not me. I've moved from 6th to 1st over the last couple months. I don't want you guys to have a chance to overhaul your clubs for free.

I sorta wasted my first wildcard - because I still didn't know what the fuck I was doing - so I had to pay for a few transfers later. Still, I'm pleasantly shocked by my team, so far.

 

[tAFKaT]

2) Never use any Everton player besides Maroune Fellaini. ZERO ability to keep a clean sheet & he's the only one who can score.

You shouldn't use Spurs defenders for the same reason.

 

[Smudger]

I think I might be done with this calamity. I can no longer handle the constant utter failure of every single player I use. It's like I'm cursed or something. Pepe Reina at home to Aston Villa sure looked like a safe bet.....until he gives up two goals in the first 30 minutes to a team who hasn't scored more than one goal in a BPL game in over a month. Then add in the Ryan Shawcross OG (4th OG I've had all season) & I'm just going to lose my mind if I play this any more. Too infuriating & no longer any fun whatsoever.

 

[tAFKaT]

I think I might be done with this calamity. I can no longer handle the constant utter failure of every single player I use. It's like I'm cursed or something. Pepe Reina at home to Aston Villa sure looked like a safe bet.....until he gives up two goals in the first 30 minutes to a team who hasn't scored more than one goal in a BPL game in over a month. Then add in the Ryan Shawcross OG (4th OG I've had all season) & I'm just going to lose my mind if I play this any more. Too infuriating & no longer any fun whatsoever.

I agree Smudger. This is easily the most frustrating fantasy league I have ever joined.

One the problems I have with it is the very limited squads. It makes it very difficult to pick players that don't conflict with each other.

 

[Buckeye513]

Where was all this bitching in September when I was 9th?

 

[Merih]

You guys are warm butter soft