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3074326;2192175; said:
I usually use Facebook to laugh at those who bitch and moan about their lives on Facebook, but don't do anything about it to make it better.

OH MY GOOOOOD I'M SO LONELY I JUST WANT A GIRL TO CUDDLE WITH

Right after posting fucking screenshots of Saved by the Bell. No wonder you can't get laid. And everyone other than you knows why.

Facebook is basically the greatest comedic invention of all time.
This is why I was so happy to find some of my friends' Twitter feeds. Seeing your misogynist freshman year roommate re-Tweeting quotes from The Notebook is worth that site existing.
 
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I have this friend that I knew from high school. He was always a blow hard BSer. I've had him as a facebook friend for a few years now, he doesn't post too often. He blogged this bus ride he took to the Florida Keys for supposed Scuba Instructor training. He gets there and the bus had somehow lost his equipment so he had to take the bus ALL the way back home to Arizona. I was 90% sure that it was a big bluff. I've known him since high school, he lives in an elaborate fantasy. His real life is an unmitigated disaster. He was in the marines during the first gulf war, this much I know is true, I'll give it to him.
A few weeks ago one of his friends sends me a friend request and I accepted it. After some small talk she starts asking me these questions about him. He says that he retired from the Marines, went in enlisted and came out a major. Went to Annapolis, was a sniper, was in Iraq and Afghanistan so many times. I knew this was all BS just from what I was able to piece together from his posts on FB. Today I get a friend request from another one of his friends which i accepted. Right after that I see a name on the side panel where they show the "other people you may know". I see one for Johnny Chase and right away I'm thinking Entourage. Turns out it's this dude, it's his alter ego, it's the life that he says he's lived to people that don't know him. Fucking hilarious. I Googled his name too, he wrote a bunch of articles on Helium. Such a self absorbed douchebag. I'd love to find out with whom he served and send them those links. The guy is a real riot.
 
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Epic chain of events over the past week or so for my favorite facebooker...

will haveing a good day today off from work today and hope my day gets bether thin it has ben in a long time and win you think that it cold not get any worse thin it can it can get bether if i can have that spechil some one in your life to hold and to look in there eyes.

this is the spechel person that i am tolking two and hope that this person fill the same about me

some times i wonder what make women tick and i still are trying to figer that out and if any one nos pleas till me

will i am tired of win you think that someone is in to you but they sime thay are not

:slappy:
 
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1977192_f260.jpg

:biggrin:
 
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will i was in town to day and had to do some running and i sow that the gas price was 3.30 and the lines of cars was backed up and like i sade hole [Mark May]e wish it was like that all the time the gas price

And what was he filling up??

535110_391879334184847_255767966_a.jpg
No joke, that is his truck.

And today's gem...

you no what i hat my life at this moment and i am going throw a fase right now but i will be ok so no one wore about me and i am a siver and i will live so no one coment on my post and do not ask me any quasten right no becouse i will not give you a ancer and do not call me to find out and if i seee a number on the phone that i no i will not ancer it
 
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Deety;2217082; said:
Who's the what now?
will i was in town to day and had to do some running and i sow that the gas price was 3.30 and the lines of cars was backed up and like i sade hole [Mark May]e wish it was like that all the time the gas price
I was in town today and had to do some errand running. During my journey, I noticed that the price of gas was $3.30 and there was a line of cars waiting to fill up. I was astonished that the gas price was that low! I wish gas was always this cheap.
you no what i hat my life at this moment and i am going throw a fase right now but i will be ok so no one wore about me and i am a siver and i will live so no one coment on my post and do not ask me any quasten right no becouse i will not give you a ancer and do not call me to find out and if i seee a number on the phone that i no i will not ancer it
You know what? I hate my life at this moment and I am going to throw a fuss. However, no one should worry. I will be alright, I am a survivor and I will live. Also, [strike]don't call or respond to this because I am planning to kill all of you and I don't want anything traced back to me[/strike] I would like to be left alone right now.
 
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Buckeye513;2217092; said:
You know what? I hate my life at this moment and I am going to throw a fuss. However, no one should worry. I will be alright, I am a survivor and I will live. Also, [strike]don't call or respond to this because I am planning to kill all of you and I don't want anything traced back to me[/strike] I would like to be left alone right now.

I believe the bolded should be "going through a phase right now."

You obviously weren't in Alabama long enough.
 
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