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Do you fart

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Guys... this is a drunk post so beware

I have the funniest story about a fart ever... I think anyways

I just started dating this girl and about a month into the relationship we were in the bed getting ready to do our thing, right as I started to penetrate the pink taco I felt one coming, so what did I do? No, I didn't act as if I had a cramp in my leg, I just kept going and no sooner did I get good ole Johnny in the car wash did 'ole faithful erupt. That motherfucker was the loudest fart I've ever heard. I was so embarrased at the time but she thought it was hilarious. the only bad part about it was... she thought it was okay to shit herself in front of me from then on. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last very long after that.

By the way... I will have no female farting around me... that is the last straw
 
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i think my farts know when there is a girl around and when there isnt. my gf will leave the room for an extended period of time and i cant get it out. then she comes back and my gut is about to burst. ill excuse myself to the bathroom or to get a drink or something and it goes away till i get back.
 
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BuckStocksHere said:
Yes.
She isn't allowed. Sorry, but its the truth. Marriage ender. She knows this and is okay with this. All her friends and my family think I'm 1. nuts 2. mean 3. mean 4. mean 5. chauvinist 6. mean

But I care not. It's the only unbreakable rule.
Click to expand...

That's fucking psychotic. I've never heard of flatulencephobia...
 
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BuckStocksHere said:
Yes.
She isn't allowed. Sorry, but its the truth. Marriage ender. She knows this and is okay with this. All her friends and my family think I'm 1. nuts 2. mean 3. mean 4. mean 5. chauvinist 6. mean

But I care not. It's the only unbreakable rule.
Click to expand...
What if she imposed this rule upon you?
 
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MililaniBuckeye said:
That's fucking psychotic. I've never heard of flatulencephobia...
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Call it what you will... but I'm still not having any woman of mine bust arss in front of me. That's nasty. Women aren't supposed to be doing that stuff. Guys do that...and then smile..or laugh or say something like " holy shiat..does that stink"... that is all good. I usually just yell out "CLEAR" OR "GAS, GAS, GAS" and make the military sign for "gas".
 
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I used to get out of bed and fart in the hallway until my girlfriend asked me what I was doing and told me just to do it in bed. I'm sure she regrets that decision now. The sounds that come out of my ass are unmatched. I bitch at her every time she farts.
 
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I'm not sure but I think I read that someones girl friend found it alright to "shit themselves in front of them". That ain't right and may only be excused if the lady is dropping a kid (giving birth) at the same time.
 
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