WASHINGTON?Following the fatal shooting this morning at a Connecticut elementary school that left at least 27 dead, including 20 small children, sources across the nation shook their heads, stifled a sob in their voices, and reported [censored] everything. Just [censored] it all to hell.
All of it, sources added.
?I?m sorry, but [censored] it, I can?t handle this?I just can?t handle it anymore,? said Deborah McEllis, who added that ?no, no, no, no, no, this isn?t happening, this can?t be real.? ?Seriously, what the hell is this? What?s even going on anymore? Why do things like this keep happening??
Continued McEllis, before covering her face with her hands, ?Why??
Despairing sources confirmed that the gunman, armed with a semiautomatic assault rifle?a [censored]ing combat rifle, Jesus?walked into a classroom full of goddamned children where his mother was a teacher and, good God, if this is what the world is becoming, then how about we just pack it in and [censored]ing give up, because this is no way to live.
I mean, honestly, all 315 million Americans confirmed.