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Competitive Seafood Rankings


Our church has no bells.
As promised, given the league-wide lunch meat bye week, here are the long-awaited and completely unverifiable Pre-Season Top 5 Competitive Seafood Rankings:

1. Crab - Versatile with both a good offense and defense; exceptional lateral movement

2. Salmon - Nobody else has the heart of this squad. They'll keep coming at you (uphill/upstream, even) the whole game; will literally fight until they're dead. Their defense is suspect, though, as they rely primarily on quickness and evasive tactics

3. Tuna - Bland, but always in the middle of things; think the scUM of the Seafood League.

4. Shrimp - They seem to be everywhere at once, however, there's very little fight in this squad. Look for them to drop their first game to this year's dark (sea)horse, Crawfish.

5. Crawfish - A mid-major regional power that is primed for the jump to the big leagues. All the swarming presence of shrimp with the defense and attacking ability of crab. This hot and spicy squad may set the league on fire.

Dropped out of the Top 5: Lobster - This squad just took its perennial top two ranking for granted and mailed in the season last year. Sure, they have all the measurables you want, but they've been slow and rather sluggish of late. If it weren't for the vaunted and much overrated speed of the FLORIDA spiny lobster, there'd be none at all.
What no Swordfish?

Its a fucking fish with a sword built right in!!!! Nobody fucks with that.

You are clearly the Trev and Mark of Seafood prognostication

You are an idiot, moron and a pussy!!!:biggrin:
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I accidentally hit the return button before it dinged you and it won't let me ding you back.

I should have dinged you for not including BreakfastHam/ Dutch Loaf in the Lunchmeat Poll! :mad1: :mad1:
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I think shark got screwed! Tough and bitey, they know how to finish off an oponent when they smell blood in the water. Although I think they might be under investigation because those damn lampreys are always hanging around them.

Thump said:
I should have dinged you for not including Ham/ Dutch Loaf in the Lunchmeat Poll! :mad1: :mad1:
Your posts in the lunchmeat poll showed everyone that you're a spammer.
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1. Crab - Versatile with both a good offense and defense; exceptional lateral movement
The most overrated #1 ever. I predict Swordfish will be picking these little fucking annoyances out of their pubes by the end of the game if they ever go head to head.

That's right, unlike several other folks on this site Swordfish still has their pubes!!
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Dude, these rankings are wacked!

How can you overlook the relentless defense of Oyster?!? Practically impenetrable! Granted, not much movement on the offensive side of things, but c'mon, if the other team doesn't score, Oyster wins every time!
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one word....halibut....

the size to play with anyone....loves a good cold weather game.....is also surprisingly lite and delicate....
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Dude. WTF? Squid. Squid rules. They're everywhere before you know it, and they're excellent at both offense and defense. Especially offense, when they throw out so many smoke screens you can't even tell what they're doing. On D, it seems they always are getting a "hand" in on the play. Squid will be the surprise of the season.
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FKAGobucks877 said:
On D, it seems they always are getting a "hand" in on the play.
Well done.

Also, eel should not be overlooked. They are slippery and can get through holes in even a rock-like defense. Also, they can occasionally generate an electric offense that charges up the crowd. Eels, hey we're not just underwater snakes, you know.
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