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Compatibility Test, Help!

Plum Diamonds Lab Grown Diamond Rings


The Most Power-Drunk
I'm with BN27 on this....never heard of it. I've heard of "marriage counselling", per se, but never some ass-backwards compatability test. I say you set fire to it, and when the priest asks, just tell him the devil made you do it. He'll probably leave you alone after that. If not, show him "The Exorcist". Then he'll definitely leave you alone.
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Be good-everyone dealing w something u don't know
Staff member
  • oh.. and you should refrain from saying... "yes, I plan on having children... and NO.. if I have a male... he will NOT be one of your altar boys for you perverted gay bastards"...
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    Don't Immanentize the Eschaton
    Staff member
    My fiancee and I start our pre-marriage counseling next month and I think I might have already intimidated the couple in our church who does the sessions. I was joking with the guy by reminding him that my Masters degree had a heavy emphasis on counseling practices and developmental psychology. I then told him I was going to use this background knowledge to manipulate all of the sessions to my advantage. I guess he didn't know I was joking since he didn't laugh and warned me "you had better not!"

    The thing about the Catholic Church that I always found bizzare when it came to pre-marriage counseling is that the priest does it. How in the world would a single, supposedly celebate guy know anything about marriage?
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    Herbie for President
    First off as you all know I can be weird at times... with that said I liked the personality/role/expectations test... then again, one of my degrees is in Interpersonal Communication, so I did study this exact stuff for four years at one of the top (top five last time I checked a few years ago) Communication programs in the nation.

    The "test" will ask you about children (do you want them, do you think your spouce will want them, how do you intend to raise them, how were you raised, will you or your spouse take time off work/ stop work all together when/if children come, how will you disipline your kids, what do you expect it to be like, will you want time alone/ time with only your spouse, how many kids do you want, when do you plan on starting, who will watch them when they are young, etc. etc).

    It will ask you about finance's (who will work, who will pay bills, how many checking accounts will you have, joint or single title of property, how will bills be paid, who will carry the check book, what will you spend excess money on, will both parties have a spending limit, will credit cards be used/under what name, will brokerage accounts be single/joint/trust/etc., is there a prenump, do you want a prenump, do you know what kind of income you and your spouse will make (a lot of folks actually don't have a good idea on this one), will you buy or rent a home/apartment/condo, do you buy or lease cars/why/what do you expect from your spouse/how often do you get a new/used car, etc. etc.)

    It will go over chores. Who will clean what, when will it be cleaned, who will do trash, who will do dishes, who will cook, when will you eat dinner/together or seperate, when will you/spouse come home from work, will you garden, who will garden, what type of time do you expect to excert from gardening, who will take care of the cars, mantance of the house, do your own plumbing/electric/handyman stuff or hire it out, etc.

    It will also go over personalities of you and your spouce. How do you react/feel during social events, how do you get along with her family/friends, how does she get along with yours, do you have common friends, do you have friends who aren't really frinds with her (same quetions on her friends towards you), are you an intravert/extravert/why, what is she/why, under what situations do you get into arguments, how are they resolved, during those arguments how do you react, how does she react, what do you like about that/dislike about that, how might it be solved, when other issues come up how will you try to solve it, what do you expect her to do under the same situation, do you drink, does she drink (same with smoke), are there issues with this... it will also get into bedroom type stuff... what do you like to do with her/without her (same for her), if you could change something about her what would it be (same for you), what do you think she would say under the same situations, etc.

    what type of time do you plan on spending with her, what type of time do you think she plans to spend with you, what do you do when you are together, what would you like to do together... what are things you want to accomplish in your life, how can she help you, what does she want to accomplish in her life, how can you help her... what is your relationship with the lord/same for her, how do you plan to integrate the lord in your relationship with your spouce, etc. etc.

    how long have you been dating, how did you meet (this could be told during the wedding, so be careful what you answer), what attracted you to her, same for her, what do you think attracts her to you, etc... how do you plan to incorporate her into your life/she into yours...

    At any rate you get the picture. The goal is to get a lot of stuff out on the table so both parties can learn more about the other, and so both parties know what the other expects... basically are you on the same page, what needs to be done to get on the same page, and disscussion of issues that might not have ever come up... it is good stuff, and fun to maybe learn something about the one you are about to spend the rest of your life with... again I'm weird and get into this type of stuff (even studied it... to the extent of why do folks do what they do, and what reaction are they looking for/expecting... how do folks interact and why, is is social norms, instinctive, learned behavior, copy cat behavior, reaction of an action... etc., a lot of interesting theory work... heck I took a class based soley on persuation/brainwashing... very interesting...

    You'll do fine (cannot fail type of test)... really helps to verify you both know each other and understand where the other stands on many different topics... helps to put most "relational problem areas" on the table for discusion, so you will not wind up in divorce court due to some exagerated misunderstanding/ current small problem that escalates....

    Good luck, and good luck with your marriage!! It is a wonderful thing if you find the right spouce (a nightmare if you find the wrong one :( )....

    oh, and congrats on the soon to be wedding... and most religions do this, it isn't only a Catholic thing....
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    The brownest of the brown liquors
    Thanks gbear! Are you a priest? We actually have very open lines of communication with each other and talked about a lot of these things in advance. Even though I went to Miami (OH), I was raised on tOSU, and now I'm marrying into the family (she graduated from the nursing school in 2002). I appreciate the kind words, and the comedy. I was expecting to hear it a little harder from dihard, though. He's been on a roll lately, LMFAO.

    I did want to hear more about it, but I also was throwing a softball for comedic purposes.
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    Herbie for President
    You would be surprise at how narrowly focused many relationships are... once two live together, are a single financial unit, and have to deal with each other day in day out.... a lot of feelings can change quickly in regards to ones spouse (if a lot of the "bad/noncompatible" issues come to light for the first time under "heated" conversation).
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