Hey all, I'm back. Sorry about last week - I was out of town and left this column to Poobert while I attended to some important business in Las Vegas. As he mentioned, while I was there I put some real money on some of last weeks key games in lieu of doing our normal picks. Poobert said we'd find out who the real Fuck Face is. It turns out, it's both of us. In the grand Vegas tradition, we lost our asses. Poobert only won one of his five bets. I only won two.
The best thing we can do about is change the subject and never speak of that shameful performance again. So, let's talk about rivalries instead. It seems to be an appropriate topic now that Ohio State's rival has re-discovered football and is beginning to run their mouths a bit.
Poobert's rival is Maya. She is the other cat in our household. She is smart, but aloof. She is leery of outsiders. My wife adopted Maya a few years before we met, which means that when Poobert showed up she was bigger, older and in charge. She intimidated Poobert for a while. Eventually though, he established himself in our house and turned the tables on her. He began to chase her, antagonize her, and beat her up. To this day, she can barely get around the house without him following her around and reminding her that he can whoop her ass.
You may be thinking that the dynamics of that rivalry sound familiar. You're wrong. I am definitely not comparing Maya to M*ch*g*n. Nope. No way. My wife reads this, and I'd get in trouble for doing something like that.
I'd better change the subject again before I find myself in the doghouse. This week's picks:
Game jlb1705 Poobert Cincinnati (+7.0) at BYU Iowa (-2.5) at Northwestern Mississippi (-10.5) at Memphis M*ch*g*n State (+8,5) at M*ch*g*n Alabama (-4.0) at Texas A&M Florida (+9.5) at LSU USC (+6.5) at Notre Dame Arizona State (+6.5) at Utah Oregon (+2.0) at Washington Penn State (+17.0) at Ohio State
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