Cam Newton (QB New England Patriots)

[Captain Hindsight]

This one isn't over yet (boy does Chizik look like an idiot)

N.C.A.A. Inquiry of Auburn Isn?t Over, Exchange Reveals

Okay, so this is what I'm envisioning. All the coaches sit down, and within seconds a frantic and inquisitive Gene Chizik jumps the gun right away.

Chizik: "So, ummm yeahhhh, this whole thing with Cam Newton.....we're all good now, right? Everything's over? We've got nothing to be worried about, right?"

Lach: "No, Coach Chizik. We're still looking into matters regarding Mr. Newton."

Chizik: "Awww, come on! You already got your guys - you know the ones up in Columbus? This is Auburn University we're talking about; the SEC, the conference of integrity and class!"

Lach: "Okay, that will be enough Coach Chizik. We're still looking into matters of these allegations."

Chizik: "Shit."

 

[MililaniBuckeye]

He forgot to tell her that at Texas he had LBs who could run step-for-step with Ted Ginn...

 

[armsbendback]

Hilarious that ESPN linked to the Lantern story almost immediately, yet this story, from the NYT no less, is nowhere to be seen on ESPNs front page or even College Football page

 

[bassbuckeye07]

He forgot to tell her that at Texas he had LBs who could run step-for-step with Ted Ginn...

I forgot about that shit....what a fucking mouth breather

 

[jlb1705]

?You?ll know when we?re finished,? Roe Lach told Chizik, according to several coaches who were at the meeting. ?And we?re not finished.?

She must believe in the afterlife - that's the only way these clowns are going to know what hit them.

 

[NFBuck]

What a fucking mook...

 

[Tonyank]

Hilarious that ESPN linked to the Lantern story almost immediately, yet this story, from the NYT no less, is nowhere to be seen on ESPNs front page or even College Football page

 

[bassbuckeye07]

Okay, so this is what I'm envisioning. All the coaches sit down, and within seconds a frantic and inquisitive Gene Chizik jumps the gun right away.

Chizik: "So, ummm yeahhhh, this whole thing with Cam Newton.....we're all good now, right? Everything's over? We've got nothing to be worried about, right?"

Lach: "No, Coach Chizik. We're still looking into matters regarding Mr. Newton."

Chizik: "Awww, come on! You already got your guys - you know the ones up in Columbus? This is Auburn University we're talking about; the SEC, the conference of integrity and class!"

Lach: "Okay, that will be enough Coach Chizik. We're still looking into matters of these allegations."

Chizik: "Shit."

I like this

Chizik: Before we get started could you tell me the Cam thing is over?

Lach: Its far from over

Saban:lol

Calipari:Kentucky is clean [slime trail]

Les Miles: I drink pee

Weiss: can we go to the buffet yet?

Chizik:fuck you (points to Petrino), fuck you (points to saban), fuck you(points to Richt), your cool (points to Pat Summit) I'm out

 

[NFBuck]

I like this

Chizik: Before we get started could you tell me the Cam thing is over?

Lach: Its far from over

Saban:lol

Calipari:Kentucky is clean [slime trail]

Les Miles: I drink pee

Weiss: can we go to the buffet yet?

Chizik:fuck you (points to Petrino), fuck you (points to saban), fuck you(points to Richt), your cool (points to Pat Summit) I'm out

I picture it more like the restaurant table scene at the beginning of 'Reservoir Dogs'.

 

[CentralMOBuck]

I picture it more like the restaurant table scene at the beginning of 'Reservoir Dogs'.

Just wait, LSUfreek will do something for this.

 

[Tonyank]

I picture it more like the restaurant table scene at the beginning of 'Reservoir Dogs'.

Miles aint tipping

 

[scarletmike]

Miles aint tipping

What kind of high quality grasses and turf do your salads include?

 

[Gatorubet]

This story is somehow related to another similar exchange.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/12/catherine-kieu-becker-cut-off-husbands-penis_n_895771.html

Catherine Kieu Becker of Garden Grove reportedly prepared dinner for
her husband and put a poisonous substance or drug in his food to make him
drowsy, reports KTLA. While the man was sleeping, Becker allegedly tied him
to the bed. When he awakened, Becker cut his penis off with a knife and
threw it into the garbage disposal, turning it on as she did so.

Chizik should be hoping that after the NCAA drugs them, ties them up, and cuts off their dicks - they agree not to use the garbage disposal.

 

[SloopyHangOn]

I consider it a win for all of sport that neither of this thread's titular figures won a fictional award on a fictional sporting news network tonight.

 

[Dryden]

Miles aint tipping

Houston Nutt: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Les Miles: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Houston Nutt: You don't tip?
Les Miles: Nah, I don't believe in it.
Houston Nutt: You don't believe in tipping?
Steve Spurrier: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Les Miles: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money than she can quit.
Houston Nutt: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?
Les Miles: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Steve Spurrier: Hey, our girl was nice.
Les Miles: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
Nick Saban: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Houston Nutt: I'd go over twelve percent for that.