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  1. The Silver Bullets will have a great day against FAU. scUM fans will say, "Yeah, but FAU. Wait till they play a decent team."
  2. In early November, with the Bullets still flying, they'll say, "Yeah, but the B1G sux this year. Wait till they come to the big house."
  3. In late November, they'll say, "Yeah, but wait till they get crushed in the playoff".
  4. In early January, they'll say, "Yeah, but some of that coaching staff are going to get Head Coaching gigs this off-season."
  5. In late January, they'll point at number 4 and say, "Told ya so!", thus keeping scUM arrogance alive for one more year.
 
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1. Shea Patterson wins the September Heisman but nothing that matters.
2. LSU beats Alabama and wins the SEC.
3. Jeaux Burreaux is a Heisman finalist.
4. In the 12 game regular season, J.K. Dobbins has 2,000 yards rushing, just over 2,500 yards from scrimmage, and throws a TD pass in the Buckeyes win in Ann Arbor. He wins the Heisman over Trevor Lawrence, Jeaux Burreaux, and Jalen Hurts (Tua gets injured and is out of the running).
5. Ohio State goes undefeated, with the biggest scare being against Sparty in an ugly game played in terrible weather, wins the BIG, beats a one-loss Clemson team that somehow got in despite the loss and a lousy schedule in the semifinal and squeaks by LSU to win the natty.

Bonus: J.K. Simmons narrates the glorious hour-long program about the Buckeyes' first 15-0 season.
 
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1. Ohio State beats M*ch*gan, but since Ohio State loses 2 to Purdue and Iowa (yeah - I know they don't play Purdue and Iowa - I'm talking about them FIGURATIVELY, not literally), and M*ch*gan only loses 1, M*ch*gan finally goes to the Big Ten Championship game.
2. M*ch*gan loses to Someone (Northwestern? Nebraska? Minnesota? Illinois?) in the Big Ten Championship game. They also lose in their bowl game, making their 10-0 start look pretty funny.
3. James Franklin poops his pants during one of Penn State's games. Penn State fans blame it on photoshop.
4. Scott Frost will be Big Ten COY.
5. Ohio State players will be called for 5 targeting penalties, of which 1 will be overturned. Ohio State opponents will not get called for any targeting penalties.
 
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