Listen guys, I really wanted to share the insights I gained on top of Table Mountain yesterday but then I received a lot of threats. It's really serious. So much so, that I think I am closer to developing IBS. I farted this morning when I woke up and it cleared the room, so everyone here thinks its serious anyway.
I'd like to go into details, but I can't go into specific details when such serious threats have been made. I will say that I understand that we have every reason to believe that people close to people close to people related to JCOSU86 still believe that he intends to commit to Ohio State.
I can also share that I have broken down in tears--in not just one, but two, practice interviews--when the threats were mentioned and I paused meaningfully to consider the emotional price it has had on me.
When I find a premium content site where I can reveal all, I will let you know. My agent tells me that Cosmo is a possibility in an anniversary edition of Burt Reynolds interview and I am hoping to get one of those zooty cellular telephone premium content numbers that you can all dial into soon. I just wish Ohio State would get back to me on my planned announcement at an upcoming basketball game.
Just know in the interim, JCOSU86 gets it, which isn't a bad thing for a guy built like a spark plug, or was that a fire hydrant, anyway someone his size.
Word is that he really understands the Buckeye tradition and is a real Buckeye. As much as I respect him, Clarity is wrong to suggest we should be unpainting the endzones.
After all, what am I supposed to do for an avatar if we unpaint them? What meaning will my life have? Oh no, I feel tears coming on again. Top that Hillary.